Long before men controlled their sticks and flicked their BICs, the Sun wasn’t the Sun but a lonely ball of highly flammable gas aimlessly floating around the Solar System, oblivious as to what Solar or flammable meant, or even to the benefits of rotating car tires. Since there was no Sun, the Earth was a dark and cold place, much like how it is today except happier. The gas ball was actually called “The Lonely Flammable Gas Ball” and not “The Sun,” contrary to what the history books and daily newspapers might have said at the time.
According to a budding grapevine, it all started one Sunday morning, at around noon. There was a certain bikini walking along a beach that night (since the day was yet to be invented), which triggered a heavy bout of stick rubbing on planet Earth. This walking bikini also caused friction to be developed between two sticks competing for the same flame. A spark, born out of this latest bout of wild and meaningless friction, grew fed up of the typical spark-life and managed a daring escape.
This aggravated spark bobbed and weaved across the Universe, skillfully avoided principles of physics, asteroids and film crews shooting yet another retroactive episode of Star Wars, and landed in, of all places, a no-smoking zone on the “The Lonely Flammable Gas Ball.” This caused what is now popularly know as The Spark and Gas Fiasco , aka: Here Comes The Sun. This created not only the sunrise, the daytime soap opera and the sunny-side-up egg, but also the need for sunglasses, sun block, tan lines, nude beaches, and daytime fragrances. It also caused nightclubs to have shorter opening hours and probably shorter skirts, which triggered pleasant daydreams, even at night. The rest is Solar System History and this blog.