Studies of fossils discovered during a recent CEPEP stone turning ceremony revealed, not only did the chicken not cross the road, but it wasn’t even a chicken. This shocking revelation was made possible by scientist studying the modern-day, mind-boggling phenomena called CEPEP. It was discovered the poultry that did attempt to cross the road was in fact a mutated and shortened turkey that had grown white feathers, probably because it lived near an aluminum smelter and close to a cell site in a newly demolished forested area. (The Back Against The Wall Journal reported that it was also very strange that shareholders of the smelter, and the politicians who approved it lived very far from the heavily-subsidized-user-of-gas).
This useless piece of information was discussed at a recent cabinet meeting but no final decision was made since most of the members fell asleep as if brain-dead, a condition typically brought on by aluminum intoxication. At a media conference held after the cabinet meeting, a refreshed, but delusional spokesperson said this discovery will in no way hamper Government’s “Lets Destroy the Country before its Too Late” initiative. The spokes person reassured the public and other environmentalist that even more bulldozers will be brought into the country to level the playing fields, and the Green to Brown assault on the country will continue. It was also said at the media conference that citizens who show any concern about their security, health, happiness, environment, children, fellow citizens, and the future of the country are only doing this because they have political agendas and are to be completely ignored, and if possible, victimized.
The media was reminded, under the present system of government, democracy ends after the last vote is cast on an election day, when the ownership of the country is passed on to the ruling bunch of politicians. It is only when the next general election is around the corner the elected bunch will appear to tolerate people-power. Until then, as the old saying goes, “is crapo smoke yuh pipe.”