The Fall of a Bloger – aka: Aka

The famous and very revealing reporter, Mini Skirt, decided to interview the now infamous bloger, Aka, in an effort to find out why he has become what he has become. She decided to get down to the bottom of it all, as you will soon see, if you haven’t already seen.

Mini: aka, I will get right down to it, people have been complaining that you are very full of yourself and sometimes crude and rude in your blogs and blog comments. Is that true?

Aka: I suppose it is true that people have been complaining and a blogers has a right to complain about perceived injustices and poor blogs.

Mini: What I meant to say aka was “is it true you have been crude and rude in your comments and your blog”?

Aka: I believe the question mark above should have been placed inside the inverted commas, right after the word “blog.”

Mini: You didn’t answer my question.

Aka: Of course I will spend the night with you in Barbados once you wear that micro-bikini again, or not wear it for that matter.

Mini: That is what I mean aka, you make a mockery of blogs by adding these pathetic and rude comments, which can make most of us very uncomfortable.

Aka: What am I now, a comfort zone? I always felt those micro-bikinis are a bit on the uncomfortable side but I don’t think their designers had comfort in mind when they were conceptualized. To answer your question about rude and pathetic blogs, I would say you are right and that’s just me at times.

Mini: Are you starving for attention or simply just have a huge ego?

Aka: Now, now, Mini look who is being rude and crude. Ha, ha, ha.

Mini: Such a hideous and sarcastic laugh! Get serious aka, you very well know what I mean by ego. You seem starved for attention and will do anything so that people will notice you. You think you are clever, amusing, charming, cultured and good looking. Why don’t you write something meaningful about life, or the smelter at Chatam? I think you are a very sad man aka, very, very sad.

Aka: I don’t know if to hang my head and cry or comment on your hemline slowly creeping up to the promise land. I much prefer the promise land thing though.

Mini: Aka, I believe there are men with very little hope in this world and you are one of them. Why don’t you see the folly of your ways and grow up. Life isn’t about fun and games, and creeping hemlines.

Aka: But I beg to differ. Life is to be enjoyed and I have spent too many years in my shell so now I am coming out of it in the form of a blog.

Mini: Shell? Are you some kind of turtle, a Ninja turtle perhaps!

Aka: One of my best friends reminded me about Ninja Turtles recently and it was good to remember.

Mini: Aka, there are reports that some blogers plan to protest your blogs and comments by burning tires on the connections leading to your blog. What do you have to say to that?

Aka: I would recommend they use Dunlop tires since it produces more and fouler smelling smoke. I think tire-burning is being perfected in this country and I also understand the University is planning to offer night classes in “Tire Burning and Road Blocking” but you have to bring your own tires.

Mini: Aka, you are either missing my point, being dumb, or being evasive again. People are appalled by your blogs and comments, and have decided to show their disapproval. Aren’t you the least bit concerned the protest will mushroom into violence and the defacing of your blogs?

Aka: Yes.

Mini: Yes what?

Aka: Yes Miss.

Mini: Be serious aka, your blog world is coming apart and you sit here like Nero, fiddling while Rome burns.

Aka: Oh my god, is Rome burning again? Was it tires this time?

Mini: Aka, you are beyond hope and redemption. I think you are pathetic and not fit to blog. I will recommend they take away your blogers license and be taught a lesson you will never forget!

Aka: I also would never forget that lesson you taught me while you did that lap dance. You nearly broke my…..

Mini: Enough Aka! People, including me, are becoming most fed up with your antics.

Aka: Sitting on a man’s ego is now called an antic? How quaint but painful. Shelly, I must admit you do paint this world in a very dim light.

Mini: I am not Shelly I am Mini. Shelly is the other one on CNC 3.

Aka: Sorry, you sound so much like her. Anyway, I think I must defend myself since, as you put it, my blog world is coming apart, but I don’t know what to say. In the world of blogging we can say things that we won’t say in real life. I would say bloging brings out the worst in me and that is my best. Some say I am confusing, some say I am confused. Both are right I guess. I would be the first to admit my mind is sane and enjoys life in many ways. I enjoy bloging and I also enjoy people not reading my blogs. I enjoy shouting in the middle of the forest so no one can hear. I also enjoy a little tire smoke and old cars dragged across the roadway. Life to me has now become several little things sewn together like a quilt. You can’t have a complete life unless you made a few little mistakes and no big ones. I think I am never what people expect unless they expect nothing. I am happy being me and I don’t even know how to put that in blog form. I can’t say if life is good or not because that would depend on if your car overheated this morning or the construction of the smelter has begun. That would also depend on if someone read and liked your poem, or if someone commented on your blog. There are so many things which affect life I would say it is neither good nor bad. I would say life simply is.

Mini: I hope you realized that you just spewed a whole heap of garbage again.

Aka: What’s one woman’s garbage is another woman’s treasure.

Mini: Here we go again.