RIP Turbo 2001 serial number ZBC 421 C13

RIP Turbo 2001 serial number ZBC 421 C13

26th April 2003 – 11th February 2006

My car battery died today without warning. It was a sad moment for all in front the poultry depot when its final surge of cranking amps turned into a trickle as the Civic’s starting motor failed to volunteer even a churn. Good Samaritans, in shock and disbelief, rushed from all around with jumper cables, spanners and suspect advice in hand, trying to revive the dieing lead-acid power house. But, at last, it was not to be as the voltmeter confirmed what we all had dreaded. The Turbo 2001 serial number ZBC 421 C13 was no more.

Though I am deeply saddened by the sudden passing of my faithful battery, I am grateful he lived a long, fruitful, and energized life, never failing to crank even once until his sudden demise. He was nearly three battery years old, which is almost one hundred in human years. His cells were practically free of impurities since I fed him only the best in distilled water from the finest distillers in the country. His poles were always clean and coated with petroleum jelly as specified by his maker. Though he did have a negative pole, he was always positive in his duties.

His replacement cost a whooping $590.00 as the price of lead continues to rise to almost astronomical levels on the international market since 2001. There was no rebate to be had since he died well outside his warranty period of eighteen months. This made my sadness even sadder. But, say what, and as a notorious roadside mechanic once said, a battery’s got to do want a battery’s got to do, – life cranks on.

RIP Turbo 2001 serial number ZBC 421 C13 and may your plates not pollute the soil and cause lead poisoning.

11 thoughts on “RIP Turbo 2001 serial number ZBC 421 C13

  1. “suspect advice” haha indeed, there is always some quack at hand to dish out this type of advice in such situations.

    “may your plates not pollute the soil and cause lead poisoning”
    exactly how did you dispose of it aka?

  2. “exactly how did you dispose of it aka?” Mee asked in a friendly but caring tone which CID officers normally reserve for vile criminals and maxi drivers 🙂

    This is the question I was dreading since I posted this blog so now I must confess to citizens of The World and other banana-planets of the Solar System.

    Unlike so many drivers, I am not a polluter. Many battery carcasses were once found in my back yard cleverly placed on a concrete pavement awaiting their makers to collect them, but this never happened. In the end I had to take them in to the Maker who put up quite a fuss and said he doesn’t really care I throw them in a river. People who are in the business of making money are hardly ever in the business of caring for people unless they can make more money from that caring. On Saturday I plan to take in my faithful friend to the maker and I already called ahead for reservations.

  3. oh, well then very good! LOL hmm imagine if u actually did hear me ask u that! i wonder if u think my tone of voice would be the same?!

  4. “Banana Planets” – i wish i knew what that means?

    I am very proud of the way you disposed of your poisonous waste. More people should take the time that will be an investment in the existance of our earth – unless we get hit by a comet first.

  5. fire, I am glad you asked 🙂 A Banana Planet is a planet run by politicians who fight for bananas. Everything they do is based on their personal quest for bananas. They would say and do anything for this long and yellow fruit. These banana-hungry leaders use people as disposable pawns to fill their hunger for bananas. What they forget is that those who live by the banana will die by the banana and such a death is can be long, painful and yellow when ripe.

    Question – how many bananas are in this comment? :))

  6. fire, it’s strange you should mention comets because the most common reason given by people who regularly throw car batteries into rivers was comets. The second most popular reason was asteroids and the third was stupidity. There was no fourth reason given since after stupidity nothing was left, not even a banana 🙂

  7. I liked readin this entry and even more so, the comments 🙂 A good blog does that. Accept my condolances for your lost aka… I’m sure u’ll meet the mattery again sometime in the passed on battery department in hevan.

    Did I ever tell u that ur writing reminds me of Koontz sometimes?

  8. Tunks, condolences accepted and passed to the great lead-beyond. Unfortunately, I am still in contact with the ole-leady since his soul is not at rest because of the sudden and embarrassing way he passed on. I can see dead batteries. And yes, I am planning to write Dean Koontz about it 🙂

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