Batman: Before The Beginning and Whatever



Before The Beginning:

Batman Begins (aka Batman Begi, aka Bruce and Alfred, The Early Years, aka Why the Well Should Be Covered Well) was fraught with fear and uncertainty as parking spots were much more than scarce. It was a night of warlike tension when what seemed like hundreds of incensed potential moviegoers converged on what looked like nowhere in particular. It was a night of high parking lot drama as the once peaceful drivers from all walks of life, of all ages, of all levels of stupidity and varying degrees of sexual activity and inactivity, resorted to primordial instincts in their quest for nonexistent parking spots. It was the ideal night for the parking lot Batman to intervene, but he never showed. The bastard!

Almost At the Beginning:

An Audi A6 reversed and gave me my first real hope of seeing Batman Begins that night. My Honda flashed its headlights in gratitude and the Audi A6 honked her horn in acknowledgement of our show of appreciation by way of our flashing headlights. I smiled and blushed as the pretty female A6 driver and I made, not only retina contact, but also made my retinas glad to be male retinas. It’s strange how the simple things in life can make a fool happy. That’s why I stayed a fool for so long, it’s cheaper and happier.

Closer than Almost:

The line to see this movie looked like a National Geographic aerial snapshot of a desert snake in motion. The paid up moviegoers were only pseudo-aggrieved since the time spent in the line gave people the opportunity to mako each other. That was 60% of the reason for going to see the movie in the first place. The other 30% was for the popcorn and the remaining percentage was attributed to boasting to the unsuspecting that you actually got a parking spot and saw the movie.

The Movie:

It was a good movie which I, like Thomas Cruise Mapother IV, will eventually get on DVD. I give it a 3.5/5, aka 7/10 for those fearful of the decimal point.