The First, and only remaining Paragraph (much too long) of Aka’s most rejected novel, The Blog Master Cometh
The deadline is getting closer but I must be brave, I MUST overcome. The Blog Master would not be tolerant this time and I must produce. I can hear the clock ticking away as I look over my shoulders. My heart stops, or maybe it is only the clock. The keyboard is unfriendly, but I continue anyway. Sweat drips and I still have a full head of hair. A creak comes from the steps below and I know The Blog Master cometh. My days as a Bloger are coming to an end, but much too soon for one as gifted, and handsome as me. I will not give up. I will not give them their way. They laughed at me in The Village and they called me a Blog Monster. I will show them, I will have no mercy. My Blog is my life and I won’t let them take that away. The creaks get louder and now sounds like an old bed in a house of ill repute during a bout of prepaid passion. I see shadows, they are getting longer and longer, not unlike those in the old Hammer horror flicks. I ignore their slow and overdramatic approach as I attack the keyboard with a passion never before seen in this Blog. My creation is about to come to life; it moves, light flashes, but not where I thought it would. I hear a loud thud; The Blog Master apparently has bumped his head again. I snicker at the thought. I wish him the pain of a hundred nagging women during PMS. I am almost done; The Blog to end all Blogs is about to be born. Suddenly, I hear a loud crash, the lights go out, my UPS kicks in for once, I press save, but something doesn’t feel right, it feel wrong, it feels a bit soft around the edges but not all that bad. I see another flash and I am terrified at the sight. I didn’t expect this! I know they were devious but I never imagined they would stoop this low. I shriek, and my lights go dim, then, slowly, they go out. That was the last thing I remembered.
The Blog Master Cometh was banned and therefore will not be released at a Blog Outlet near you as previously advertised. Refuds for advanced orders will not be forthcoming, since Aka has already paid for his flight to Lithuania.