The Chinese say out of crisis comes opportunity and that is why Trinidad and Tobago is the land of opportunistic people, not only the Chinese. Last week the Prime Minister said no more fetes in national sporting complexes probably because of the high cost of repairing The National Flagpole but the very next day Ministers were meeting to solve the perennial problem of nowhere to wine.
But a crisis isn’t always created for the opportunity to look good but sometimes to create the opportunity to fast track a tender award to those contractors who can charge several flagpoles more just by saying yes they can deliver in Chinese time. Even if the taxpayers will have to borrow to finance these fast tracked schemes, it will happen. The reason for cost overruns in many Government contracts might be due to a change in design by mysterious forces and soil, resulting in a nice crisis midway through the project giving the contractor the opportunity to buy those two extra S-Class Mercedes along with that high-rise apartment his girlfriend always demanded for her sex-tape grade services. Only with this well planned, sudden design change will Mr. Contractor be able to spring for that industrial grade 10-speed blender his wife had her eye on for years. The opportunities taxpayers subsidize.
The traffic “crisis” is another opportunity to give those “fast” contractors the chance to overbid just to help the population, waiting in traffic, to get from A to B without using a shoulder. The crime “crisis” can, or has provided “security supply companies” with the opportunity to deliver crime suppression supplies urgently at top dollar so the public and select suppliers would be impressed how serious the authorities are about alleviating their suffering. Besides, the crime “crisis” now employs both non-criminals and criminals thus making crime more organized and an all encompassing industry. The health care system will continue to fall apart once there is money to be made from people, who have no private practice or Government contracts, suffering in hospital corridors. The urgent need to impress foreign “leaders” is now causing the fast tracking of many things cultural including the cutting of the bush along the highway. The next new “crisis” will be water as the population is running out of tires and foam mattresses to drag and burn.
Out of crisis comes opportunity and if done properly, there will be no Commission of Enquiry.
Most people in Trinidad and Tobago believe Government’s 2020 vision will never be realized but very few thought it would have been because the World would end before that – more precisely, the World ending on December 21st 2012, just after Budget Day.
2012 is the latest blockbuster, kill-the-Planet-and-go-wow movie that promises to end all your worldly problems. 2012 opened in Trinidad and Tobago yesterday and will be opening in the US today, Friday the 13th. It will be released in Japan on November 21st. This movie was made to make people aware that the worldwide recession will end in just over a couple years and that if you had a sex tape accidentally released to a worldwide audience, then you should capitalize on it before it’s too late to make another one.
There are many reasons why people in Trinidad and Tobago agree with the Mayans that the world as we know it will end on December 21st 2012 as that will be the date the Treasury becomes just a word. It will also be around the time the dictatorship slithers into office and 5 new big flagpoles are installed for all comrades to see. Though the world has come a long way from the days of drawings on cave walls to sex tapes on thumb drives, it still has not lived up to our expectations in this country. We all thought, as we fast forwarded to the future, we would have also fast forwarded to happiness but the more we sped the more traffic, floods, Bailey bridges and bandits we met, making a mockery of our Prime Minister’s Tiny Capacity . We in Trinidad and Tobago thought the more money the Government had; the happier the citizens would have been but instead, it turned out mostly the Chinese and one pretty Japanese were the happiest, not the taxpayer.
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Girls with long legs have a definite advantage over the shorter-leg variety as they are seen as being much more beautiful by men; it is a biological thing. Pretty girls are also thought of as being more desirable than unattractive ones as are rich men with loose wallets.
There is a photo of Latoya Woods, the new Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe representative, in the Trinidad Express today showing Latoya lounging on a couch at The Hyatt – a couch I have favorably encountered in the past – and if you didn’t think she was a winner before, this photo will change your mind. She is easily a stunner with her very pretty face, long legs and other exciting dimensions. I will probably post that photo later if The Express, and or, Latoya promises not to take any legal, or other offensive and painful action, against me.
As I said in a previous post, it must be difficult to choose a Miss Trinidad and Tobago since we are a country full of pretty and exciting girls; some apparently more exciting than others but that is not for this post. I am not sure where or when the next Miss Universe competition will be held as Wikipedia is silent on that issue, but I will be keeping a keen eye on the new competitors, including the usually docile Miss Japan.
One woman by the vegetable stall said she need ah good licking. I just nodded, not wanting to cause confusion. A man next to the bananas asked if I had a copy and I nodded in a funny way.
I don’t know why there is so much fuss about an alleged existence of a leaked sex tape starring a former Miss Trinidad and Tobago because a sex tape is now like a cell phone, everybody has one and some even have one with each service provider. True, some phones are better looking and have more features than others but you soon get over it and want a newer model.
Apart from seeing how good you look on screen, why would you want to make a sex tape? Maybe it’s to improve technique or maybe it’s to see if you are as hot as you were misled to believe. Hotness is like power, addictive to the point of never wanting to let go and even recruiting extra Chinese if you have to. It really doesn’t matter the reasons why, once you intend the sex tape to be for private turn-on use only then just don’t leave the video unencrypted on a hard drive for it will be found and leaked by the jealous or the insane, or as Bandi said, the computer repair man with a bone to pick. But the lessons of past celebrities don’t always filter down to the newbie so the mistakes must be made over and over, much to the delight of new found fans and admirers.
My advice to anyone who is embarrassed by having a leaked sex tape – don’t worry about it, just hold your head high. Yuh know what ah mean.
p.s. it’s a fake YouTube loader.
I got this idea from Scene’s last blog post.
Only a few weeks ago I saw the Mint from Diana with the word that I, and everybody in Trinidad and Tobago have been saying (in bold and red) more than usual, Steups. Because of this, I decided to give Diana’s Steups some free ad space for understanding the mood of the nation better than any politician alive today. I also dedicate this blog post to those who make us feel no National Pride but only Steups instead.
Patrick Manning – Steups
Basdeo Panday – Steups
Gary Hunt – Steups
$2 Million Dollar Flag Pole – Steups
Colom Imbert – Steups
Bailey Bridge – Steups
Flooding – Steups
Trincity Mall – Steups
Neil Parsanlal – Steups
Calder Hart – Steups
Michael Annisett – Steups
UDECOTT – Steups
Barry Sinanan – Steups
Corruption – Steups
Traffic, Traffic Everywhere – Steups
Martin Joseph - Steups
CoP Philbert - Steups
The Blimp – Steups
Crime Wave – Steups
Jerry Narace – Steups
Karen Nunez-Tesheira – Steups
Integrity Commission - Steups
Max Richards – Steups
Licensing Office (especially Omera) – Steups
Passport Office (ALL) – Steups
Shoulder Riders – Steups
CHOGM – Steups
WASA (Pothole Crews) – Steups
Please Feel Free to Add
So the flag and pole did cost around $TT2 million and nobody is surprised, just outraged and happy for the ammo. Though a breakdown of the expenses adding up to the 2 million was given by Team Hunt, I am not in a position to say if any, or how many, greased-hands were involved since I am not a flag man. The point is not only the credibility of the cost of the monster-flag and associated concrete but the reason we need a monster-flag during a recession and a white collar crime wave.
People are not saying it yet but most think the flag is like the Honest Coast Guard with Australian interceptor boats seizing a shipment of coke or compressed marijuana – how many shipments were not seized – The majority. So, with the very visible waste-of-money flag and pole, we know where that extravagance went, but how many more extravagant waste-0f-money-items did we not know about? The majority – that is what most think.
Yet, despite all the evidence and citizens’ mounting frustrations with crime, traffic, unemployment, and Bailey bridges, our certified-stupid Propaganda Minister admits the current Cabinet made only few mistakes but overall, they are doing a wonderful job. He was quoted as saying the mistakes will remain mistakes until they (The Ministers) acknowledge them (the mistakes). How do you unscrew a pregnant woman?
A poll by CNC3 last night showed the disconnect between the citizens and the Government that Reginald Dumas is constantly talking about when 95% of the voters said the Government is doing a bad job. Once the Government think the kick-back ready 5% of the population is all that matter, is crapo smoke we ganaga again.
p.s – the new unit of measure for the cost of public projects in Trinidad and Tobago is now The Flag-Pole where One (1) Flag-Pole is equal to TT$ 2 Million. E.g. The Education Tower in Port of Spain, unfurnished and incomplete, has cost taxpayers 230 Flag-Poles so far. CHOGM will be costing in the order of 120 Flag-Poles. Somehow, those don’t sound so bad.
Despite claims to the opposite, pressure groups in Trinidad and Tobago are happy for the CHOGM (Chug Emm or See Hog Emm) in November since most activist think a CHOGM protest can intimidate the Government into removing property tax and UDECOTT.
As frustrated as citizens are with the Government, I doubt our problems will impress many of the heads attending. Some of poorer countries of the Commonwealth are still trying to rake and scrape a few US dollars to buy a plane ticket to come to CHOGM and will have no interest in what we in this country call suffering. On the other hand, the more prosperous nations are glad for our high crime rate so they can sell us interceptor boats and helicopters. Some are just happy we still eat Weetabix and Canadian smoked herring.
The protests planned around CHOGM will not target the leaders since world leaders see pressure groups the same way citizens see property tax. What the local pressure groups hope to do is embarrass the Government into action via the international press. The international press will be told how the Government is squandering hundreds of millions on the CHOGM but have no money for poor Petrotrin workers. Pressure groups will also talk about UDECOTT and the Commission of Enquiry that has no end, only a beginning in a far off land. There will be much talk about suspected corruption and billions the population claims was wasted in satisfying one man’s ego. I can’t imagine the activist leaving out the Chinese smelter or the WASA potholes. The bed-ridden health services will also be mentioned but very little about CDAP and GATE. Everything the pressure groups will highlight internationally will not be new to them just quaint to the first world and laughable to the starving Third World. As much as the pressure groups will disagree, I doubt our collective woes will impress other nations and it is we, the Poor and Suffering Arabs of the Caribbean, who will have to fend off the Government for ourselves.