Jessica Pare is Hot


If you are a fan of the TV series Mad Men you will agree that Jessica Pare (Megan) is Hot! Some say she is too skinny and has big teeth but she looks amazing in black underwear and can seduce with her French accent. The series Mad Men obviously needed fresh Female Talent after January Jones(Betty) became a little too annoying.I think there was a white or satin underwear scene featuring January Jones in Season 4 but maybe not as sexy as Pare in black or white.

Jessica Pare

January Jones

January Jones

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Have A Very Sexy Christmas


Sexy Christmas

Form: The management and staff (one and the same) of This Beach Called Life

To: All those who managed to come visit this blog at random intervals during the last 12 months – have a Sexy Christmas and may the stockings, g-strings and/or Speedos that you bought fit that special someone almost as well as it did the mannequin and/or sales person in the store. May your tingles be in the right place and be bright and cheery.

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An idea I toyed with for some time


The Mini

The Mini

Harrods Mini

Harrods Horse and Buggy

Some toys from the UK - made in China

In about ten thousand years from now, the toys shown in the photos above may be worth the price I paid for them in the tourist trap known as the souvenir shop. I am not complaining since no tourist will ever feel fulfilled unless he or she buys souvenirs for friends and loved ones that will look cheap and tacky in even the cheapest and tackiest parts of any home. Giving someone a tacky souvenir is the way we tell people how we felt about them while we were having a good time in a foreign country.The only souvenirs that are not tacky are toy cars as toys will be toys even if made in China.

Photographing toys is almost as much fun as playing with them and even more fun than buying them. For men, there is something very compelling about toy cars and I suppose it is the same compulsion women feel when they see shoes, handbags, clothes, a sign marked SALE or the able wallet of a man. The photos were taken with a Pentax 50mm 1.4 FA lens. The light was natural and the table top old.

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Lady Gaga HeartBeats In-Ear Headphones


Lady Gaga Headphones by Dr. Dre and Monster

If you ever wanted to stand out in crowd but were afraid to show more skin than the situation calls for then the Lady Gaga HeartBeats In-Ear Headphones with ControlTalk is what you need to stick in your ears. Amazon had these strange-looking-for-no-reason-but-strangeness ear-buds nicely priced at US$89.99 instead of the normal US$129 for just two hours today in their Gold Box Deal but being so far away from payday only the wealthy and deranged managed to take advantage of this once in a lifetime offer. The big question is not if these ear-buds sound good but can it drive away crows and cobeaux. I am sure they do as that might have been the designers subconscious mission.

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What to Give Women For Christmas by A Man Called Aka_lol


It may be green but it is not for novices

Most men find Christmas gift giving for women to be a pain in the butt cheeks since it has become nearly impossible for men to know what women really want  irregardless of what women say they want or how much men spend on them. I have thought long and hard about this problem and realize that spending too much creates bad habits and sends the wrong signals to the bank thus the solution is not in the amount of money but in the cleverness of the thoughts behind the gifts. In an attempt to unravel the mystery of women gift-giving on the cheap without looking so, I make the following win-win suggestions  hoping it will help the confused man score big on a budget this Christmas.

a.) If you want the woman in your life to make you happy I recommend the stable Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book, 15th Edition together with the exciting Naughty Net Micro G-String. The cost of the two items together will not break even a pauper’s piggy bank but will bring mammoth joy to  the world of the better women and all men. The gift combo is known as the shake and bake solution.

Bedtime reading for the woman in your life

b.) For men who are a bit less selfish, the woman in your life who enjoys a good book will appreciate Sexy Hot Tales: Selected Erotic Stories by Anonymous Authors and Barbara Hot. It may give her some creative ideas on how best to use the man in her life for things other than simple plumbing jobs. If she is into photography The Mammoth Book of New Erotic Photography by Maxim Jakubowski is not funny but may help tickle her pink if you are a failure at it.

c.) If the woman in your life is struggling with losing a few extra pounds and needs some motivation I highly recommend you ditch those fad diet books and instead buy a copy of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Portfolio: The Explorers Edition.

Illustrated for men but useful to women

To use as a weight-loss guide you, the smart man in her life, should constantly look through the book and circle here and there as if you intend to order something.  For obvious reasons, make sure she sees you circling and drooling but use a bib. This method has been known to cause women to do what ever it takes to lose those extra unwanted pounds that separate them from looking like a Sports Illustrated pinup girl with sunken eyes and breast. She may seem annoyed at first and the method on the surface may appear unkind  but she will thank you later if you survive the ordeal.

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Kim Kardashian – More than you wanted to know, less than you wanted to see


Kim Kardashain

  • Kim’s real name is Kimberly Noel Kardashian
  • Kim will be 30 years old on October 21st this year
  • Kim Kardashian became famous because she is the daughter of the late attorney Robert Kardashian of O.J Simpson’s defense lawyer fame.
  • But most of her initial fame came from not just being the daughter of a high-profile lawyer but also the popularity of a sex tape with her former boyfriend Ray J – Click To Download
  • It’s unclear if she has any talent besides being famous
  • Up to today, she is not famous for her academic achievements


Kim Kardashian and Madame Tussauds Wax Figure

Kim Kardashian Dressed for Halloween

  • Kim Kardashian doesn’t date – so what does she do
  • Kim Kardashian objected to the selling of lookalike blow-Up dolls possibly on the grounds that nobody will Be able to tell which is the doll, and which is human
  • Has a Weird Fetish in men – see if you qualify

Kim Kardashian pictured on the beach in Miami. Kim took an afternoon stroll with a friend and stopped to throw a football around.

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It’s the photographer, not the camera, stupid – my Pentax K-7 first shots


A Rainy Morning at Store Bay, Tobago

The picture above doesn’t even come close to telling the full story as to what was going on around as the photo was being taken. Just minutes after the shot there was an extremely heavy downpour with lightening and thunder that became the norm in Tobago the weekend – sorry nothing more dramatic was happening. It was cat and mouse with the rain and I can’t recall ever experiencing so much bad weather in the island. Anyway, this was my first outing with the Pentax K-7 and while most people were reading one of the late Stieg Larsson’s popular, sexy, summer-reads, I battled with the K-7 user manual and Magic Lantern Guide. I am not complaining since getting to know your new camera is one reason people buy new cameras they may or may not need.

I like the K-7 as the learning curve is nice and steep.  The best photos I took so far with the K-7  are portrait shots of people who will never permit me to post their photos, so I have to post landscapes with blown out highlights that would make a tolerant histogram cringe. The photos were shot in Adobe DNG RAW and processed with Adobe Lightroom 2.5 which I am learning to use with one of Scott Kelby‘s many books.

Here are my first public post with Pentax K-7 shots, which supplies proof that a new camera does not mean better photographs – it’s almost always the photographer’s fault.

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Black Label on the Rocks


Black Label on the Rocks in Tobago

Some people think the only thing yuh could get on the rocks in Tobago is a little crab but I have proof there is more to be had. Some people apparently also had a little Black Label Rum on the rocks and probably ketch a little crab after that.

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Tobago Crab Without Dumplings


Tobago Crab at Store Bay

Tobago Crab - No Dumpling

Here is a Tobago crab minus the dumplings. Around this time of the year there are many Trinis who line up by Miss Jean or Miss Trim in Store Bay, Tobago to buy Crab and Dumpling without thinking that neither the dumplings nor the crabs are fond of the dish. These crabs are shy because they want to live and probably heard many horror stories about humans and their dumplings. Maybe Chennette, Wizzy or Chris can assure this crab in the photo – who probably reads my blog -  that he or she is much too thin to even come close to a box of Tobago dumplings.

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NORAD Tracks Santa, Again


I don’t know if this year will be different for Santa but for many years he has been discriminating when giving gifts. For years, Santa has been giving rich children things like laptops, Wii and Playstation 3, but he gives the poor ones imitation designer tee-shirts and one extra slice of ham in their hops only in times of an economic boom. Many times Santa completely avoids poor neighborhoods citing crime and his subjective opinion of goodness.

Once again, this year, the North American Aerospace Command (NORAD) is tracking Santa from the time he leaves the North Pole. I am not sure why NORAD wants to track Santa, since I doubt it would influence his bias towards the rich. NORAD probably wants to be sure Santa doesn’t create an international incident by dropping toys for English-speaking children with worded instructions.

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The Bikini in 2009 – Still Almost Naked


Beyonce in a Bikini

Beyonce in a Bikini

French automobile engineer, Louis Réard, should be the most famous engineer in the world since his invention, the bikini, positively transformed the lives of more men than any invention in the world, including the wheel, the sandwich loaf, and the  online porn.

According to Wikipedia, Réard came up with the idea for the bikini in 1947 when he was 50, not because he was a pervert, but while he was running his mothers lingerie shop and thought women looked better in public when in their underwear. He named his contraption the Bikini after the Bikini Atoll in the Pacific, a popular site for testing nuclear weapons at the time. He possibly came up with the name when he realized the bikini was capable of causing its own little nuclear explosions in secluded places.

Black Thong Bikini

Black Thong Bikini

The bikini has evolved since 1947 and is now also available in many styles and sizes – regular, small, micro, string and you-couldn’t-be-serious. Women wear the appropriate bikini  depending on the weather -  smaller bikinis are worn to create a hotter atmosphere.

The evolution of the bikini was not without controversy causing those with superior moral and ethical standards to object to women wearing the bikini since it caused men to feel an immoral tingly sensation and encouraged excessive public drooling.

Nicole Scherzinger Bikini

Nicole Scherzinger Bikini

Religious leaders have spent a considerable amount of time bad talking the bikini instead of praying,  saying it makes women look naked -  as if they would know a naked woman if they saw one. Because of the imagined  immorality of the bikini, some ethical men do not permit their wives, and women to wear bikinis in public but this is a blessing since the wives and women of the ethical and moral  are normally in poor shape and should avoid the bikini anyway.

The bikini was originally intended to be a swimsuit but now women wear bikinis while playing sports like volleyball to allow freedom of movement and to keep men glued to the TV screen.  Some women even wear bikinis while playing mas in Trinidad and Tobago, ignoring the call by the religious and the scared to not show off too much of their goods in public. On the other hand, photographers are not normally religious or even moral people so encourage bikini wearing during Carnival in order to  take as many bikini shots as their batteries and good sense would let them.

Trinidad Carnival - Bikini

Trinidad Carnival - Bikini

Many celebrities have been known to wear bikinis in public places to relive stress and attract the paparazzi. One good bikini shot in a secluded public beach with an unknown hunk can keep a celebrity in the news and the dollars for weeks.

The bikini, in 2009, looks like it is here to stay and like all living creatures, will evolve to suit its environment. It is clearly still an instrument to help the fittest survive.

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Bikinis in a Row

Bikinis in a Row

Bikinis Inside

Bikinis Inside - Click for LARGER image

Miranda Kerr Bikini

Miranda Kerr Bikini

Anna Valle in a Micro Bikini

Anna Valle in a Micro Bikini

Trinidad Carnival - Bikini

Trinidad Carnival - Bikini

Hands Off - The Bikini

Hands Off - The Bikini

Megan Fox Sex Symbol Revealed


megan-fox-wallpaper

Megan Fox become a sex symbol seconds after she opened the bonnet of  the old, yellow, American car that was overheating in the movie Transformers. This bonnet-opening scene has since become a classic and permanently featured in the dreams of those fabled creatures called decent men. It was also the scene which pushed Angelina Jolie from the top of the sex symbol list and to get a tattoo upgrade. There were no special effects or cryptic back tattoos in that scene but only raw, sensual curves shot from all the right angles.  If there was ever an ad to promote sex symbolism it would be the Megan Fox Transformer overheating engine scene and nothing to do with Angelina Jolie’s back . I would argue that Transformers was successful only because of the hot Megan Fox and not because of the guy who also starred with her. His name fails me right now.

megan-fox-bra-wet-03For a girl to become a sex symbol there must be consensus by the mass media and especially by that new mass media called blogs.  Fortunately, this blog overwhelmingly votes for Megan Fox, not only to be a sex symbol, but to be the #1 sex symbol of 2009 and constantly in my wildest dreams.

I don’t think there is any one reason why the masses find Megan Fox sexy but certainly her easy to read tattoos help. Some women have their sex appeal enhanced by tattoos while others turn to body piercings and silicone. I would estimate that 90% of a woman’s sex appeal she is born with and 10% comes from highlighting the natural 90% on the screen, in night clubs, on the beach and in blogs. The paparazzi and blogs have contributed in a big way to the popularity of the modern celebrity and “leaked” photos and sex tapes have become part of the hype building.Megan-Fox

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Pro Max Screws Nation After Speedo Bulges


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clown-450

The sounds of “Oh no, ah doe have tuh goe” crooned over the Sony Boom Box that Pro Max hugged. It was the inspiration for his first, post-European speech he had been looking for since he removed his Red, White and Black, frontally-enhanced Speedo that he wore  on his recent screw-the-nation European tour. The Plagiarizing Priest told Max the answer would come either in a song or in mid-wine but Max didn’t think Destra’s “Wey yuh want” was quite the song and all his wines now ended before the middle.

Pro Max decided, apart from telling people he was not going anywhere, except for vacation, he would talk down to them. He would hide behind the false shield of confidentiality even though the letter from The Judge and the emails from the Brilliant Journalist were on the streets. How stupid the public is, he often thought. PM PM, his guru and desktop background, often said the best defense is a good offense. Accept responsibility but say nothing, was going to be the gist of his speech. He wrote with renewed arrogance since he knew for sure The Party wasn’t about to throw him on the street and may even chant his name in approval at public events, in the way cult followers do. He learnt The Party admired the extra mile he went to select some line-towers and this thought made his Speedo bulge ever so faintly in approval.

Pro Max finished his speech and realized how much he loved his nation but  over the years that love turned to lust. He was sure it was the love/lust relationship which caused him to screw the nation so much. As he closed his laptop he could swear he heard distant booing and wondered if it was The Shand Man or just his conscience acting up again.

Max is conveniently missing the point to justify ignoring the country while he was on vacation. What non-party supporters and even some party supporters are asking (the population) is:

(1) Did Max appoint a chairman to the IC who was an exposed-eventually-self-confessed plagiarist? Isn’t a plagiarist a type of thief? Why would somebody who is knowingly a type of thief be appointed as Chairman of the IC by the President? The answer to this one should be a classic. Lets move on like Max.

(2) Did Max promise The Judge the deputy Chairmanship but reneged on the offer (promise) and failed to inform the Judge until he was handed his Instrument of Appointment in front of everybody? This was not only embarrassing to the Judge but it smelled of something sinister. Did the Judge lie in his letter of resignation? If the judge didn’t lie then Max should resign. There is nothing confidential about his letter of resignation, and 99 out of 100 people don’t think the Judge lied. Moving on like Max.

(3) How come Max did not know the appointed Deputy Chairman was not even eligible to be a member of the IC but common sense told the rest of the nation he wasn’t? Ignorance of the fact by Max is not an answer, it is a reason to resign. Moving on like Max.

If Max cannot answer these questions to the comfort of the nation, during this time of serious corruption allegations against big men in society who are openly backed by big politicians in society,  then he must step down in  what now looks like a big disgrace. It didn’t have to be like this.

A large percentage of the population fears about Max have be realized and every attempt he made at defending his position reaffirms the public’s suspicion about him.

Sadly, there is little that can be done to remove Max and the country might just have to sink with his ego, his guilt,  his misdeeds, and his support of a Dictatorship.

Let’s Move On, Max.

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