THIS NEVER HAPPENED
In what can only be described as uncharacteristic brilliance after a national tragedy, our local police made a prompt arrest of a group of suspected hit men, seized their high tech weapons and two bags of doubles within minutes after the group allegedly carried out a daring assassination of an well-known state prosecutor just after 12:00 am last night. The police was able to make this arrest and interception because of the multitude of working and expensive CCTV cameras along the route were actually working and being monitored for a change. These phenomenally expensive high tech cameras were purchased using taxpayer’s money and installed by the usual high-priced government approved contractors, and monitored by an unknown, but strangely intelligent state agency that were not using the cameras to monitor girls with short dresses and low tops on the Avenue.
When the Ag. CoP was asked to comment he repeatedly said in a comforting manner “Not all murders are hits and but all hits are murders.” However, the Minister of National Security was relieved that something finally went right after a murder. When asked to comment on the National Security breakthrough the Minister blushed uncontrollably, yet sadly, and said the Prime Minister was planning to once again have every stone unturned. He said the PM was ready to offer a reward, which was less than the lotto, for vital information on the assassination, to anyone who craved sudden death via bullets from high-power rifles at close range. The Minister admitted, though he was the God of National Security, had no clue if the reward would have been tax exempt, delivered via an anonymous wheelbarrow or could be used in the afterlife.
As for the motive for the gruesome murder, the Minister said they (the hit men) thought we were stupid and wanted to make us look bad internationally. When asked if the hit was an attempt to destabilize the country he said no, as the country was already mentally unstable long before this.
The Bandits Association of Trinidad and Tobago (BanATT) was catapulted into mourning and anger yesterday when they learnt the Police took down three of their members. One member of the association who was both not authorized to speak to the media and on the run from Police for some time, lamented how the Bandits were only trying to make the usual dishonest dollar. He said first it was the curfew, and now they have Police Officers that could shoot reasonably straight even in a crisis at 2:00 am. The unofficial spokesperson for BanATT said that the Police officers were equipped with bullet-proof vest, well maintained guns and a regular pay check while the bandits were simply armed with three or four guns, which could effectively kill a few unarmed, law-abiding citizens during a daily robbery but the weapons seem of little use in shootouts with the Police. He lamented this disadvantage and hoped to invest some of the money he will soon get from his new government handout, disguised as a job, in better tools for bandits. The spokesperson said their Association may take the case to the Equal Opportunity Commission as Police seem to be preventing Bandits from carrying out their trade while allowing the law-abiding to make an honest dollar. He stressed the Association has nothing against people making an honest dollar since it was the honest dollar from the man in the street that keeps their members happy and well fed. A similar sentiment was also expressed by CL Financial investors.
Ishmael Samad attempted to make either a symbolic or real citizen’s arrest of Calder Hart using a well constructed sledge hammer on Mr. Hart’s gate. The incident was seen on the 7’oclock news and the blows to the gate showed that the decorative pieces on the gate were poorly welded on. If I were Calder Hart, I would have blown a fuse and immediately have a stern word with the welder. What I think is more worrying is that, for the country’s sake, I hope the welder was not involved in welding at any of the country’s newest jewels put together by Mr. Hart, and possibly, his friends and family. I also pray, for worshipers sake, this welder did not fabricate anything for the church in Gunapo.
The press reported that the police was on the scene within 15 minutes and Mr. Samad was held for questioning for over an hour, the same length of time the Anti Corruption Bureau spent “interrogating” Mr. Hart. The difference between Mr. Hart and Mr. Samad is that Mr. Hart flew back to Miami and Mr. Samad was hopefully released on bail. I am sure when certain Government officials hear about this latest attack on the gate of this outstanding citizen’s home, a fit will be thrown since they may have also used the same welder. Mr. Samad did not resist arrest and went on the tray of the police pickup under police orders which is not an approved or safe way of transporting people. But this is Trinidad and Tobago where lawlessness of Police Officers is as common as dry taps, bush fires and an unfinished billion-dollar stadium.
I think Mr. Samad was brave to do what he did and many citizens, fed up of the Government’s inability to arrest Government’s contempt towards the public, must be proud of Mr. Samad’s actions. Mr. Samad now joins the ranks of Percy Villafana as yet another Citizen Supreme. The Government will no doubt call Samad’s actions wrong and may even consider it an act of terrorism by those who are now quaking in their boots. What the Government will fail to say and realize is that the actions of Mr. Samad was understandable given the public’s perception that this Government was the most corrupt in the nation’s history. The public also holds the view this Government will do anything to promote and encourage dishonesty in dealing with the public’s purse. Mr Samad’s actions is not an everyday occurrence and it is as a result of the level of frustration most citizen’s are feeling about what is seen as the intentional mismanagement of the country’s resources for the good of a chosen few.
Cops Kill 3 Kidnappers appeared to be the best news the crime-battered Trinidad and Tobago public had since hearing their cricket team made it to the 20Twenty finals in India.
From the stories all three newspapers carried, a businessman from Champs Fleur was kidnapped yesterday morning. The police were alerted and soon found the kidnappers’ car and gave chase. According to the newspapers, it was a high speed chase and not a low speed one. The kidnappers, realizing these police officers were heavily armed and not easy, decided to abandon their victim and ran through some bushes to escape fate and possibly some good licks. The kidnappers – young men from Beverly Hills- had guns and concluded, like any good criminal would, that they cannot escape without shooting at the police. Little did these kidnappers know that this team of police officers was being led by ASP Johnny Abraham, a colorful character and a no-nonsense police officer. As the saying goes, a team is as good as its leader so the bandits, lacking leadership and bulletproof vests, succumbed to the several bullet holes they received from Abraham’s team. One kidnapper escaped and I feel it’s only a matter of time before he meets his bullet. I am not saying it is right but I am saying it will happen.
On the heels of this kidnapping and CHOGM, but probably not because of it, a strengthening of the Police Service was announced today by Minister Martin Joseph but not many people noticed or cared.
Is this truck/van driver breaking the law? Well, probably not depending which police station you complain to. Everybody knows that the worst people to ask if something is against the law in Trinidad and Tobago are policemen, or policewomen, followed by school principals with a thing for strippers.
In Trinidad and Tobago we are so accustomed to what is wrong we have no idea what is right or red. Judging from the amount of shoulder-hoggers who also go to church for heaven sakes, and who would get into a rage if you try to filter correctly, I would say we are truly blessed since we have the law on the majority’s side.
Fast forward to the future and the scene is not a pleasant one.
A cheap knockoff of the national cracker, Crix, is being made by an underground biscuit cartel and fooling all but the best biscuit experts. The nation is on high alert and the CoP is accepting full responsibility while blaming citizens for taking Crix and its holes for granted. He tells the public “We should have never allowed this hole issue to get to this stage and any true Trini knows an original Crix has 18 holes so how on earth can a citizen eat a Crix without checking the holes? This is madness.” He urges citizens to report all cracker incidents to the police and to count their holes before they bite. The Minister of National Security urges citizens to be calm and promises a special Counterfeit Cracker Squad, equipped with the latest PR people and cracker hole counting equipment, will be set up. The Opposition Leader is calling for foreign experts claiming the national cracker is in a jam. The PM thinks that remark was cheesy.
So Kevin Baldeosingh is still not now writing for any local because of religious reasons and Pro Max is still at large because of his politics and contempt. But life goes on even if criminals have cranked it up two notches and Martin Joseph has graced our TV screens with an image of confident cluelessness. Still, I find it hard to dislike Martin Joseph since my ridiculously happy childhood prevents me from hating a clown. I can laugh at a clown, I can run from a clown, and I can even kick a clown in its balls if necessary but I cannot hate a clown. But Martin is not responsible for crime in the country and he is only responsible for admitting in public what the murder toll is. Outside of that public reporting function, Mr. Joseph has very little to do except to make sure criminal deportees are welcomed, the latest crime plan goes to waste in cabinet, and that there is enough helium for the blimp to float in the sky.
To make matters ridiculous, there are reports appearing in the Guardian today that says a Jamaican hit man was hired to assassinate a senior police officer. Putting a hit on anyone is disgusting but with the Chinese already getting jobs ahead of locals at Alutrint and there is now a threat that the hit man industry may go Jamaican, I see another protest brewing. What is wrong with our local snipers? Haven’t they been doing a good job for years? Why take out a hit on a police officer since police officers have very little involvement in solving any crime? Is that our 2020 vision? Is the importation of Jamaican criminal talent any way to develop our local crime industry? This is wrong for the country and even someone like Pro Max could see this.
A senior police officer says the multimillion dollar CCTV cameras installed to protect Summit leaders are still working and as soon as any camera stops working there is an alarm at the Command Center causing a technician to be immediately dispatched to fix the delinquent camera. We await the images from these working cameras showing when the driver of the truck near the Maloney intersection was hijacked and murdered in daylight, close to a CCTV camera. I wonder if the criminals know more about the CCTV system than the senior police officers? Just wondering.