I didn’t see the Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe show last Sunday and I do find nearly all the girls attractive and hard to judge from web photos alone. This is only made worse by a frustratingly low-definition broadcast from TV6. What matters in the end though is how contestants are able to sway the minds of judges on the night with a lot of walk and a little talk. In the photo above, photographer Gary Jordan is able to show his amazing ability and beauty of Avionne Mark, the winner of Miss Trinidad & Tobago 2012 Universe. She already has the Cover Girl effect.
Sarah Jane Waddell is, according to Facebook:
It was bound to happen, just a matter of time. The Miss Universe franchise has decided to tackle the years of falling ratings because of stiff competition from Internet porn and Facebook by offering fans and well wishers topless photos of willing contestants who understand that “leaked” sex tapes can get out of hand especially if the lighting is poor and the sex is boring.
It is my understanding from an Indonesian website that Miss Trinidad and Tobago, La Toya Woods, decided to pose topless for official photographers. This topless photo shoot was done, I suppose, to fast track Miss Woods’ career in the dog-eat-dog-and-cat world of competitive beauty. With the local economy being what it is, I believe Miss Woods’ decision to show more of her assets internationally than other contestants will pay off while she is still on the perky side. Strike while the iron is hot is always good advice.
Here is a translation from Indonesian to English from http://cybertainment.cbn.net.id -
Not only selebritis hollywood that dared to pose topless in covers of the magazine, the contestants Miss Universe 2010 then did not hesitate to pose topless when carrying out the process of photography for the contestants in Las Vegas, the United States on the Monday (9/8) then. One of them among them that is the contestant from Trinidad & Tobago, La Toya Woods. As being quoted by Access Hollywood, on last Tuesday (10/8), the contestant from Trinidad & Tobagi, La Toya Woods quite deliberate chose topless when being photographed. That the implementation of the reason La Toya Woods wanted to steal attention of the crowd. This my body and I was free to carry out any for my body, said La Toya Woods to the media.
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Critics say Inception is a great movie made for the intelligent man and woman. Inception is like, well, so totally intellectual you can’t even take your mind off the movie for a second to admire the Miss Universe grade form accidentally brushing up against your almost retracted legs.
I saw Inception yesterday and I can assure you this movie is not for the stupid. Smart people found Inception so good they clapped at the end while the dumb ones hurried out the cinema with bent, confused heads carrying empty popcorn bags packed on top ketchup-stained chicken combo trays, looking for the nearest garbage bin to identify with. I pretended to be smart and gave a couple vague hand claps to hide my stupidity and tucked my chicken combo tray under the seat next to me. All I could have said to the group of both intellectual and pseudo-intellectual friends was that the movie was “cork.” One friend who is into science fiction and a physics PhD asked if I understood the movie, and I said “Wah dey hah tuh understand.”
I was quietly confused trying to figure out whose dream was whose and what was a dream and what was a dream within a dream in this movie of dreams. The fact is that Inception is fast-paced, complicated and brilliant but it makes up for these shortcomings with totally awesome special effects. Leonardo DiCaprio played the part of a man who knows his dreams and can get into the head of other dreamers to steal secret information which I imagine can be stuff like the recipe for KFC or the facts behind the Guanapo church or even if a woman is wearing any underwear. What DiCaprio is however contracted to do in the movie is not to find out about underwear but to plant an idea in someone’s head via a dream – inception. It was a dumb idea but the movie nobody bothered to question the idea out of fear of being branded an idiot. What I was also able to pick up from the movie is that what you think is reality might be a dream and reading this blog may seem like a dream but I can assure you it is as real as silicon boobs.
So, out of fear of being labeled stupid, I rate Inception highly and recommend it to all my friends but especially my dumb enemies. You know who you are even if I don’t.
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Girls with long legs have a definite advantage over the shorter-leg variety as they are seen as being much more beautiful by men; it is a biological thing. Pretty girls are also thought of as being more desirable than unattractive ones as are rich men with loose wallets.
There is a photo of Latoya Woods, the new Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe representative, in the Trinidad Express today showing Latoya lounging on a couch at The Hyatt – a couch I have favorably encountered in the past – and if you didn’t think she was a winner before, this photo will change your mind. She is easily a stunner with her very pretty face, long legs and other exciting dimensions. I will probably post that photo later if The Express, and or, Latoya promises not to take any legal, or other offensive and painful action, against me.
As I said in a previous post, it must be difficult to choose a Miss Trinidad and Tobago since we are a country full of pretty and exciting girls; some apparently more exciting than others but that is not for this post. I am not sure where or when the next Miss Universe competition will be held as Wikipedia is silent on that issue, but I will be keeping a keen eye on the new competitors, including the usually docile Miss Japan.
The picture above makes me glad I am not a woman because only as a man I can appreciate what a bikini beauty means to mankind. I am also glad I am not a woman because if I were, I would have entered the competition and blown away the hopes of the other aspirants, not only with my perfect Barbie-like proportions, but with my sensual charms and well placed dimples. I would have made mincemeat of those gray-headed judges and have them eating whipped cream from the palm of my hand. If I were a woman I would have those old geezers begging not only for more, but to not call their wives or girlfriends. Holding up my number and being inspected would have turned me on and unleashed my charms. My UWI education would have counted for something but only on my Miss Universe resume and not in my head. My beauty would have been the stuff men crave 24/7 and cost them their place in Heaven.
Forgive the rant above and though being a beauty competition judge is still my boyhood dream, I don’t envy the amount of bad-eye I would receive from the rejected contestants. Who am I to decide who is better than who, they would say. My score sheet and remarks would be etched in my brain and labeled “Top Secret” for security purposes. Maybe online voting should be part of the selection process to help point the aging judges in the right direction. Seeing too many bikini-clad beauties over a short space of time can only cause old men to bend and break. But I speak as an envious man with no training in either beauty selection or knowing a good thing when I see it.
Kate Beckinsale is Esquire Magazine’s new Sexiest Woman Alive. I don’t disagree or agree since sexy is as subjective as the selection of Miss Universe or Cabinet Ministers. Kate Beckinsale is 36 years old and her age did not work against her selection. To be sexy at 21 is no big deal but to be sexy at 36 might require talent and plastic surgery. I suppose Kate Beckinsale was up against the girl Rolling Stone Magazine is calling America’s Sexiest Bad Girl, Megan Fox, who is reportedly prone to temper tantrums and tattoos, both sexy traits that men look for in future girlfriends and wives. Mrs Fox also reportedly said that she wasn’t born with a special vagina.
No doubt, Kate Beckinsale was also up against the perennial Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jolie and Beyoncé Giselle Knowles so her win is not a sham. But sexy is not only for the famous who show ample amounts of leg to the public, it is for the commoner. If you take a walk down the streets of any big city not suffering from inhibitions and fear you would see many sexy women who could compete with the best fame has to offer. But like tight jeans, short skirts and visible underwear, fame and hype amplifies sexiness. Sexiness means money and is used by the entertainment industry to give value to the lives of celebrities. It can be said that sexiness is what celebrities start with and a book deal is what they end up as.
If you see one Miss Venezuela, you have seen a future Miss Universe. I am not saying Venezuelan beauties are superior since I prefer Colombians and Trinis but Venezuela is a country that not only has many nationals now living in Trinidad because of Chavez but Venezuela takes the sport of competitive beauty to a new level. Venezuela is to beauty what Jamaica is to track and field.
Miss Venezuela, Stefania Fernandez, was crowned Miss Universe yesterday and she took over from former Miss Venezuela and 2008 Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza. That means Miss Venezuela won the Miss Universe Competition two years straight. Naturally, some people said the judges were biased and by Venezuela wining two years in a row it makes the competition more blogable and hence more popular. The popularity of events and celebrities are now being rated by the amount of blog space they occupy rather than those transient TV ratings. By Venezuela winning for two consecutive years it makes it less likely Miss Venezuela will win in 2010. I am sorry for the next Miss Venezuela.
I didn’t look at the Miss Universe competition because I am protesting Trinidad and Tobago’s inability to send a contestant to the competition this year. This is a serious issue and I think we have a very unpatriotic private sector that mainly makes money from importing items in 40-foot containers then selling these items at a markup. The private sector in Trinidad and Tobago cannot be considered creative or even smart since they don’t understand sponsoring beauty is like sponsoring natural gas – a natural resource. Maybe the private sector is reeling for the recession or from buying houses in Miami but I still consider most of private sector companies unpatriotic but not all. I am not saying the government should take over the funding of the competition since that would give the competition a political slant locally. We could do without politicizing the one beautiful thing left in the country, beautiful women.
Trinidad and Tobago will do well to remember that Venezuela is obsessed with beauty and understand that natural talent can only get you so far and to go further a competitive beauty must be literally sculpted to perfection. Being born with a good butt or ample bosoms is not enough anymore and you also have to train your body parts to walk on stage without showing nerves. Forget what token question they ask at the end since looking good trumps intelligence every day.
With every generation the beauty of a nation increases as more and more beautiful people are linking up via Internet Chat rooms and Carnivals bands. Surely there will come a time when human beauty will be saturated and perfection would have been reached. I think we are far from that time since less attractive people are still mating with each other due to the abundance of cheap beer and poor lighting at fetes.
Why would it take weeks to determine if Caster Semenya, winner of the women’s 800 meter race at the World Athletics Championships in Berlin, is a man or a woman? Did someone see something that cannot be identified without a microscope and a scientist? Is looking a thing of the past? Would there be sex test kits in pharmacies soon? This might just be the tip of the iceberg and maybe we should have all Miss Universe and Miss World contestants tested for sex, including all past winners. Wouldn’t it be nice to know that the woman you had a crush on all those years was really a pretty man with shaved legs.
Wise Men over the years have said if she talks like a woman, looks like a woman, cleans house like a woman, drives like a woman, have headaches like a woman and nags like a woman then she must be a woman. Why is 18-yerar-old Caster Semenya being tested for woman but Usain Bolt not being tested for man? Is Usain Bolt even human? Do the test IAAF maybe Bolt is from Uranus and not Jamaica. How can The International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) test one athlete for sex but not the others? If Caster Semenya came last would the IAAF still be testing and the Americans still complaining? Time will tell if Caster is really a woman but if she is not then very soon children will have something like this on their birth certificates “Female, pending outcome of test and results of race.”
For the second year straight, the Miss USA contestant at the Miss Universe competition fell in front of a billion people. I see a dangerous trend emerging. This year, Miss USA, Crystle Stewart, tripped on her skirt that was either poorly designed or which she was poorly trained to negotiate in a competitive environment. I have said this before, and I will say it again, a long skirt will get a girl into more trouble than a short one. A short skirt will always get a man in trouble though. I don’t think Miss Stewart should be too embarrassed since she placed in the Top 15, unlike many of the other more stable contestants.
I am happy that the name of the competition is carded to be changed shortly to The Miss Universal Body and Brains Competition. Not only would the competition be renamed but contestants would be subjected to mandatory drug test to determine if contestants have been taking any IQ enhancing drugs and if not, why.
Miss Trinidad and Tobago, the really beautiful Anya Ayoung-Chee, probably placed sixteenth in the random political process of selecting the fifteen. Like all the contestants, I am sure Miss Ayoung-Chee believed the Miss Universe franchise developed a system that selects the best candidate to stand like a statue in foreign countries and endorse layer after layer of makeup on face after face.
As much as I prefer our own Miss Trinidad and Tobago to win – just compare the photos above- it was about time our beauty-obsessed neighbor, Venezuela, produced a winner from their beauty factory. The next challenge for Trump would be to get Chavez to host the next Miss Universe competition while he builds a Trump Plaza in Sabana Grande.