Tag Archive | celebrity

Snooki Made Simpler


Snookie in Jersey Shore

Snookie in Jersey Shore

Who is Snooki – Sooki is an American, female celebrity who sometimes looks sexy to some

Where was she born – In Chile but was adopted at age six months by Italian-American parents

How old is Snooki – Age: 23 – She was born 11/23/1987 – November 23rd 1987

Is Snooki her real name – Of course not! Her real name is Nicole Polizzi

Snooki poses

Where did she get the name Snooki – From her friends in school

What is Snooki famous for – Snooki became famous mainly for her role in the popular MTV reality show, Jersey Shore.

Why – Why what?

Why is Jersey Shore popular – Please continue

Snooki

Is Snooki really short – Sooki is 4 feet 11 inches which is probably the same height as Shakira. Snooki is however thicker than Shakira so she looks short even when photographed standing alone.

What does thick mean – According to the Free Online Dictionary thick is an adjective meaning “having a relatively large distance between opposite sides; not thin; a thick book; thick walls; thick glass.”

Will she be famous for much longer – Nobody really knows. Snooki is a combination of cute and irritating so as long as the world needs these two in one compact, female package Snooki will continue to earn at least $US30, 000 per episode of Jersey Shore while continuing to address university students for a fee of $US32, 000.

Does Snooki Facebook, Twitter and blog – Yes – She Tweets – She Blogs – She Facebooks and She even Websites

So she is a bit like Kim Kadashian with some talent – Yes, but no sex tape.

Snooki signs something

Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie – Not tits but tattoos


Angelina Jolie wants to world to know via tattoo Quod me netrit me destruit or What nourishes me, also destroys me

A well placed tattoo on an average or good looking woman can amplify her sexiness in the eyes of a beer-drinking man in more ways than a micro-bikini alone can. I like tattoos on women but find the ones that are too large or take the form of a short story or GPS coordinates take away from the woman’s sexiness. From my observations, a sexy woman should have no more than three or four small tattoos, of which one should be above the ankle, one on the bikini line and the other two should only be visible to that special someone or gynaecologist.

Megan Fox likes people to read her back and side

Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox are two sexy and heavily tattooed celebrities who may not be as popular as they are today if their skin was virgin. Gone are the days when a sexy female celebrity can maintain media attention with talent alone. The modern day female celebrity must come up with ways to defend and maintain her sexiness using modern tools such as leaked sex tapes or other forms of nudity. However, the commonness of leaked tapes has caused celebrities to rely more on ancient tools such as bikini-line tattoos and body piercings. To constantly remain in the news, celebrities, via unnamed but well placed accomplices, leak information to the media and bloggers about hidden body piercings that were done at the dead of night by a famous piercing artist known as  “Lobes.”

Angelina Jolie GPS tattoo says something very specific plus or minus 20 feet

Angelina Jolie, apart from going high-tech with tattoos of the GPS coordinates for the birth places of her children, has a bikini-line tattoo which says “Quod me netrit me destruit.” Maybe she was targeting priests and Romans with that one. Megan Fox has a tattoo just below the bikini line which says “Brian” but being a man, I thought it said “Brain” as a man’s brain usually resides below the bikini line. Why would the sexy and in-demand Megan Fox  want to condemn herself to only one man is a mystery to me.  On the bright side, the world is full of Brians and I am sure Megan Fox knows this.

In keeping with the competitive nature of celebrity sexiness I am giving the reader the opportunity to vote for the Best Tattooed Female Celibrity:

Megan Fox appeals to Brian and all men's brains

Megan Fox's ankle tattoo says so much with very little

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Kim Kardashian – More than you wanted to know, less than you wanted to see


Kim Kardashain

  • Kim’s real name is Kimberly Noel Kardashian
  • Kim will be 30 years old on October 21st this year
  • Kim Kardashian became famous because she is the daughter of the late attorney Robert Kardashian of O.J Simpson’s defense lawyer fame.
  • But most of her initial fame came from not just being the daughter of a high-profile lawyer but also the popularity of a sex tape with her former boyfriend Ray J – Click To Download
  • It’s unclear if she has any talent besides being famous
  • Up to today, she is not famous for her academic achievements


Kim Kardashian and Madame Tussauds Wax Figure

Kim Kardashian Dressed for Halloween

  • Kim Kardashian doesn’t date – so what does she do
  • Kim Kardashian objected to the selling of lookalike blow-Up dolls possibly on the grounds that nobody will Be able to tell which is the doll, and which is human
  • Has a Weird Fetish in men – see if you qualify

Kim Kardashian pictured on the beach in Miami. Kim took an afternoon stroll with a friend and stopped to throw a football around.

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Horning For Dummies


According to the Trini Dictionary the word horn or horning means to cheat on your spouse or lover, as in “She horning him like reindeer!” or as I like to say “He get more horn than a garbage truck on Frederick Street.”

Though horning in Trinidad and Tobago goes on quietly, and too frequently behind closed bedroom and office doors, the ones that make the public happiest are the ones taking place with celebrities. People were always entertained by celebrity-hornings but I think the resurgence in public interest started with the iconic golfer and horner-man, Tiger Woods. More recently, there were rumours that Sandra Bullock may have been a victim of her husband’s infidelity and the public shame made her suddenly cancel a public appearance in the UK. I can only imagine how difficult it was for Sandra Bullock to go on stage and accept an Oscar, which represented the panicle of her career, while knowing along with the world her husband had secretly enjoyed a different main course for desert. Naturally, her husband expressed regret and I suppose if he was not found out he would have little to regret.

In Tiger Woods’ case, he was the horner and in Sandra Bullock’s case she was the hornee. People would say being a hornee is harder than being a horner but I can only imagine the agony Tiger Woods must have endured over the last few months trying to figure out why horning is bad for endorsements.  There are many reasons why people horn but the only good reason is that people think they could get away with it. I don’t know anybody who is being horned or horning anybody and that might be because a good horn is always secret. Horning is not a good thing and should be avoided daily. Most hornings end up in disaster similar to  chewing a stiff piece of curried goat but unlike chewing stiff goat meat, a pressure cooker cannot help.

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Freida Pinto in a Short Dress


Freida Pinto in a Short Dress

Freida Pinto in a Short Dress

Sometimes, when the world around you seems to have no integrity and the insane lives in mansions while the greedy sails in yachts, there comes a bright spot. Sometimes that bright spot can appear as Slumdog Millionaire’s Freida Pinto in a short dress at the Directors Guild Awards.

When a man sees  a pair of female legs at the end of a short skirt the man is prone to stare at the legs for longer than what is considered socially acceptable.  Unfortunately, apart from becoming a priest, there is no known cure for this affliction.

To a man, the female leg is not overrated but a necessity and that is why those Slim-Fast women who visit the gym and perform three sets of squats, with ten reps each set, using heavy weights, three days a week are  a blessing to all mankind.

—–

note: The mini skirt was invented decades ago by a man with a dream and a need, and not during the great cloth shortage of the 50s. Ever since this breakthrough in fashion science the mini skirt has remained at least 8 inches above the knee, in style and in demand.

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