THIS NEVER HAPPENED
In what can only be described as uncharacteristic brilliance after a national tragedy, our local police made a prompt arrest of a group of suspected hit men, seized their high tech weapons and two bags of doubles within minutes after the group allegedly carried out a daring assassination of an well-known state prosecutor just after 12:00 am last night. The police was able to make this arrest and interception because of the multitude of working and expensive CCTV cameras along the route were actually working and being monitored for a change. These phenomenally expensive high tech cameras were purchased using taxpayer’s money and installed by the usual high-priced government approved contractors, and monitored by an unknown, but strangely intelligent state agency that were not using the cameras to monitor girls with short dresses and low tops on the Avenue.
When the Ag. CoP was asked to comment he repeatedly said in a comforting manner “Not all murders are hits and but all hits are murders.” However, the Minister of National Security was relieved that something finally went right after a murder. When asked to comment on the National Security breakthrough the Minister blushed uncontrollably, yet sadly, and said the Prime Minister was planning to once again have every stone unturned. He said the PM was ready to offer a reward, which was less than the lotto, for vital information on the assassination, to anyone who craved sudden death via bullets from high-power rifles at close range. The Minister admitted, though he was the God of National Security, had no clue if the reward would have been tax exempt, delivered via an anonymous wheelbarrow or could be used in the afterlife.
As for the motive for the gruesome murder, the Minister said they (the hit men) thought we were stupid and wanted to make us look bad internationally. When asked if the hit was an attempt to destabilize the country he said no, as the country was already mentally unstable long before this.
According to the Ministry of Health’s website:
17. Does the Tobacco Control Act really prohibit advertising? Under which circumstances is advertising of tobacco products allowed?
Indeed, the Tobacco Control Act has placed prohibitions against advertising.
There are, however, some limitations to the prohibitions:
A person may advertise a tobacco product by information advertising or brand preference advertising by way of:
a. A publication that is provided by mail and addressed to an adult smoker who is identified by name.
b. A publication that has an adult readership of not less than eighty –five per cent (85%)
c. Signs in a place where children (under 18 years) are not permitted by law.
Please note that these allowances do not apply to lifestyle advertising* or advertising that could be construed on reasonable grounds to be appealing to children.
The loophole which the eager-for-revenue local newspaper people might use in carrying this cigarette ad is that children don’t read much anymore and children see newspapers as a legacy product waiting to become extinct.
I, an adult by age, was drawn to this ad and my initial reaction was “so cheap.” No doubt this latest salvo by a clever company had more than the bland informational effect it was supposed to theoretically have. I almost had the urge to run down to the nearest dealer and start my addiction while I still had a few extra dollars. Though cigarettes are at the top of the list of addictions that will quite likely kill you in several ways, so to does alcohol, fried chicken, corn curls, cell phones, fast cars, promiscuous shapely women and political parties.
I don’t think this cigarette newspaper ad was necessary and it was in very poor taste. All that was needed was the dealers carry a pamphlet with the new prices which informs the addicted why they are paying more for their own tragic demise. Why should the nonsmoker also have to know about the latest price increase while being tempted to look cool with minty breath? Greed for increased profits at the expense of human life is usually the answer.
WTF! exclaimed akalol. “$4.3 million US dollars for a photograph!”
I was not complain only surprised that someone paid so much money for a photograph in these uncertain economic times. I also wondered why this photo. Was it the camera – Pentax, Nikon, Canon, Olympus, or Sony that some like to pointlessly argue? Was it taken with film or digitally recorded on a super-fast Sansa SD card bought from Amazon? Was it a scene that can never be captured again? Did the Rhine evaporate since 1999? Was it the 81 x 140 inches size since size does matter despite claims by the unfortunate that it doesn’t? Would the answers to any of these questions affect the price? I doubt it. If the photo looked the same but was a picture of the Caroni River and not the Rhine would the photo even fetch a price? It might if the photographer was Andreas Grusky, photographer of Rhine II and who ” is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential photographers of his generation.” I never heard the name Grusky until this week but thanks to Google I found out he is quite famous despite never doing weddings.
All I can assume is that the photograph called Rhine II fetched that record price since it was considered “art” by those influential ones who know what art is, or at least pretend to know. Works of art are works of creativity and the photo above is creative to some and probably represents more than just bands of grass, road, grass, water, more grass and then dull sky. One can only assume this photo represents something very deep to the buyer and hopefully even the photographer but to the average blogger, looking at this low quality small photo, it simply looks kind-ah-nice.
Long before Anya Ayoung-Chee made Trinidad and Tobago proud for a third time, there was a Trinidad postage stamp from 1847 selling for around US$29,999.00. The stamp features the paddle steamer called the Lady McLeod which sailed between Port of Spain and San Fernando from 1845 to 1854. This rare stamp can be bought on eBay from a seller based in New York if you are interested in boosting your collection. Like all collectibles, its value is based on what collectors are willing to pay which is determined by how rare an item is and the condition of that item. The price of these collectibles are somewhat subjective but not as subjective as the price placed on works of art by those with money.
- Andreas Gursky’s Rhine II photograph sells for $4.3m (guardian.co.uk)
- And Here’s the Most Expensive Photograph in the World (newsfeed.time.com)
- Photograph by Andreas Gursky breaks auction record (telegraph.co.uk)
- Last Night, This $4.3 Million Andreas Gursky Photograph Became the Most Expensive Ever Sold at Auction (towleroad.com)
- Most Expensive Photo in World (maboulette.wordpress.com)
If you ever wanted to stand out in crowd but were afraid to show more skin than the situation calls for then the Lady Gaga HeartBeats In-Ear Headphones with ControlTalk is what you need to stick in your ears. Amazon had these strange-looking-for-no-reason-but-strangeness ear-buds nicely priced at US$89.99 instead of the normal US$129 for just two hours today in their Gold Box Deal but being so far away from payday only the wealthy and deranged managed to take advantage of this once in a lifetime offer. The big question is not if these ear-buds sound good but can it drive away crows and cobeaux. I am sure they do as that might have been the designers subconscious mission.
- Organize Your Ear Buds (1-2-3getorganized.blogspot.com)
- Headphone Review: iFrogz EarPollution Luxe Bud with Microphone (geardiary.com)
- UrbanEars Plattan Headphones: Gear Review (dailystoke.com)
RBTT, or is it RBC, is what most customers call the new Public Service and in Trinidad and Tobago this says a lot. By that I mean it is not an organization that cares about its customers. This is why RBTT decided to shut down its electronic banking system over a weekend and as if it wanted to make the public service look good, the disrespectful bank also lied to customers. When I say lie I mean put out an ad saying it was shutting its electronic banking service and in bold say ONLY AT WITHDRAWALS WILL BE AVAILABLE AT THIS TIME. That was and is a lie. Most customers were unable to access cash from ANY AMB since Saturday evening and this was still so on Sunday morning. Maybe somebody high up at RBTT is being fed bullshit by the incompetent RBTT IT people just as the AG was fed crap by his investigators. I again say, somebody at RBTT has to be fired for this continuing indifference to customers.
Maybe people were fired the last time a huge fiasco occurred but the public needs to know that the bank is getting rid of its incompetence. To correct this continuing incompetence and indifference by RBTT to customers, people need to show the bank who has the power. Money talks but money also walks.
People are funny but British animal voiceovers are funnier.
Idea!! Somebody should do a voiceover for politicians to make them sound intelligent!
- Morgan Freeman Does Television Voice-Over For North Carolina GOP Candidate (outsidethebeltway.com)
Rihanna can be described, according to Wikipedia, as a BarbadianR&B recording artist and songwriter. She can also be described as talented, sexy, infinitely better than Chris Brown, and able to sell more than 15 million albums and 45 million singles worldwide so far. This latest song with Eminem is strangely addictive despite, or is it because of, Eminem’s foul mouth. For this festive season of good will to all men and especially pretty women, Eminem – Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna is stuck in my head like bun-bun at the bottom of a pelau pot. I can be heard humming this song all day even in the bank, while in the shower, or driving through floods of unknown height. The lyrics suggest that Eminem is still a bitter man either because he is bitter or bitterness sells. Based on the lyrics from Love The Way You Lie, Eminem’s world is still not a happy world. Eminem, for those who don’t know him, is a modern-day, depressed poet with lyrical talent that will only be too apparent scores of years from now. Here is a sample of why he will be considered great in the future:
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I can’t tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there’s a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can’t breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It’s like I’m in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It’s like I’m huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She f&*%%$#ing hates me
And I love it
Where you going
I’m leaving you
No you ain’t
We’re running right back
Here we go again
It’s so insane…..
- Eminem – Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna (akalol.wordpress.com)
I am sure people in the Government are aware that some studies have already been done at UWI relating to wind turbines and other forms of alternative and renewable energy and its feasibility, or lack off feasibility in Trinidad and Tobago. I was told that even BPTT is/was doing some of its own research into wind energy in Trinidad, or maybe it was just Tobago – BP is an energy company that needs to avoid another oil spill, you see.
I don’t know if large-scale electricity generation using wind turbines will be feasible in Trinidad and Tobago as large amounts of land will be needed, vexing local farmers, mall builders and squatters. The idea of wind turbines sounds good, clean and renewable but wind turbines are not maintenance free as they need the occasional bug-cleaning and cobeux removal. As the power needs for the country grows the land for wind farm expansion may have to eventually be a man-made island off Otaheti.
I doubt there will be many residents in Trinidad and Tobago who will take up the wind turbine tax break proposed in the 2011 budget because of the cost of installing an 80-foot plus pole in their backyard, a pole similar in stature to the flagpole in the National Stadium. Besides the exorbitant cost of hiring a crane to hoist the tall pole and a 5 kW wind turbine, getting Town and Country approval isn’t cheap and not likely. Noise from the wind turbine might not be a big issue in any Trinidad and Tobago neighbourhood since the noise from those Peak and Katashi air conditioning units will drown out anything. I wonder what size battery bank will be needed for a 5 kW wind turbine? I can see wind turbine battery bank sizing will be the next project for some budding engineer.
I suppose this Government proposal was aimed at anybody (entrepreneur, smart man etc) who wants to get into the wind farm business and sell electricity to the nation. Sorry for sounding so negative but my experiences tell me that in Trinidad and Tobago where big money is concerned, nothing is what it appears to be. I am not sure if producing electricity from wind turbines will be economic today as the country now has to find use for the excess energy that was supposed to go to the infamous Alutrint.
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Owning a Toyota is still considered a good thing in Trinidad and Tobago despite the possibility of some Toyotas in some parts of the world accelerating in a wild and uncontrolled manner for reasons other than driver-stupidity. How long Trinidad and Tobago Toyota owners will continue to have fate in Toyota is uncertain as a safety-recall of 8 million Toyotas worldwide does not build confidence even in Trinidad and Tobago. What is more frightening is that the local Honda dealer continues to price Hondas as if they were Audis. Toyota’s latest recall is about unintended acceleration caused by either “floor mat entrapment” or “a sticking accelerator pedal” which, if it does happen, could lead to onlookers thinking the driver is a Trinbagonian.
The information I have is the cars Toyota Trinidad Limited imported were made in Japan thus are so far not affected by the recall but if you drive a Toyota you should still call Toyota Trinidad just to be sure your car is not affected and to state you won’t take any recall lying down in the typical do-me-what-yuh-want-ah-will-still-love-yuh Trini style.
I cannot recall – no pun intended – Toyota Trinidad placing an ad to reassure customers about the safety of local Toyotas and if this is so then I find this lack of development troubling. Some say the reason the local Toyotas are not affected by the floor mat recall might be because Toyota Trinidad did not provide customers with genuine Toyota floor mats but a cheap aftermarket mat that falls apart in one year even if you don’t scrub it with Breeze. I don’t know how true this is but people should be wary because all floor mats tend to be similar and the design of the accelerator pedal is being blamed, not the floor mats.
In the US, there is now a hearing taking place concerning these Toyota recalls and it is being suggested by US congressmen that electronic device interference may also be a problem by causing interference with the cars’ electronics. Toyota has so far denied that cell phone electronic interference can cause their cars to go faster than intended since a cell phone is not beer. If cell phone electromagnetic interference is the problem then it proves that cell phones are even more evil than most thought.
So, if you see a Toyota overtaking on the shoulder it may not be because the idiot-driver thinks the shoulder is also a lane but a technical issue involving a floor mat. You have to also remember when a Toyota is suddenly riding your bumper at 180 kmph and the driver looks like the PM’s driver, it may be due to a faulty accelerator pedal and not just low IQ in the backseat. The Toyota recall is sad, not only because it destroys our confidence in the Japanese, but it doesn’t recall the number one culprit in road accidents; the driver.
I can’t begin to tell you how much I am looking forward to paying a higher property tax. I and hundreds of thousands of other citizens, known as the majority, are thrilled at the thought of giving more money to the Government to use in any way the Prime Minister sees fit, including private jet, big flag, useless conferences, house drapes, the Australians, the Chinese and Mr. Hart’s salary. I don’t expect you to use any of this newly discovered money on sick children since you have proven over and over you have a big, big Hart.
I know you instructed your scarcely literate police officers to guard Parliament with batons and guns to ensure unarmed protesters don’t embarrass the Government more than it is already embarrassed. I hope these unpatriotic citizens learnt their lesson and will now put their proverbial tails between their proverbial legs and watch the show on TV next time.
Since I was a boy, I, like the majority of citizens who were unable to take a bribe because none was ever offered or just too honest, would delightfully drool at the thought of paying higher taxes to the Government. I am still not sure if I get the most excitement from paying a higher existing tax or paying a new tax. That is such a toss up. I like paying taxes so much that I sometimes throw my money down a fast running drain during the flood season to simulate the same effect. I once threw a hundred dollar bill in a stagnant drain near my home and after a year it remained just where I left it except it turned green – that’s probably a sign of the future devaluation of our money – blue to green. I am also just as excited about the inevitable devaluation due to the expenditure on boats and drapes, as I am about the taxes. I only wish you could see how much my spine is tingling right now just thinking about it.
I thank you, my Government, for making my boyhood dream a reality, and though I might be poorer because of more and new taxes, I feel richer because I know whose pockets the taxes will go into.
Delightly and painfully yours,
aka_lol – a Tax Lover
The visible signs of success in Trinidad and Tobago used to be having a big foreign-used car, a thin cell phone and a plane ticket to Miami, but the list just got longer with the addition of the pressure washer. Almost every household in Trinidad and Tobago now boast a pressure washer with nosy neighbors peeping into yards to see how much moss still resides in their neighbors’ driveways. Most citizens in Trinidad and Tobago consider household moss a serious condition and to some, a condition as serious as Government people awarding Government contracts to family members. Now, when neighbors meet the conversations always start with the new property tax but ends up with a discussion about how much PSI they get from their pressure washers and whether it is gas or electric from Bagwansingh’s. Neighbors with a gas pressure washer feel they have the advantage over those neighbors owning the electric variety since gas makes more impressive noises than the Blimp and is just as useful in combating crime.
Pressure washers, especially gas washers, are as noisy as lawn mowers and it takes roughly eight hours to pressure wash one driveway and send four neighbors insane. Pressure washers are like cell phones and once you use it you are hooked – it’s like driveway porn. If it were possible for WASA to be disturbed I am sure they would be concerned by the popularity of the pressure washer and the way it uses water without sending up customers’ water bills. Unfortunately, WASA is yet to discover that meters are important in preventing whole day pressure washing episodes which is threatening to become a serious drain on the nation’s water like the Government is on the treasury. When people buy and use air conditioning, they pay T&TEC for the privilege, but when people pressure wash, only the moss and taxpayers pay.
Maybe it’s public mischief again but a big man from Boeing probably visited TnT to negotiate the new fleet for Caribbean Airlines, and hardly likely also one private jet on the side. With the public support for the government flagging, this may appear to be the wrong time to buy a luxury such as a private jet or a big flag. Is it, really?
This Government has been smarter and more righteous than most give them credit for. If the country buys that much needed pro-green, private jet at recession prices then the right economic signal will be sent. It will signal the start of a new round of much-needed high wage demands and the buying of big screen TVs with surround sound speakers in Miami. It will also signal the start of another economic boom, massive employment opportunities, foreign exchange availability, aluminum and no more layoffs. It will, however, mainly signal the start of spending on luxury food items like powdered-milk, sardines and crusty hops bread from St. Mary’s Bakery in Curepe. PM PM promised the country manna from heaven (aka hot hops bread) during the last elections and if, God Willing, he has to get a Private Jet to fly it in, then so be it. I want my manna now!
The picture above makes me glad I am not a woman because only as a man I can appreciate what a bikini beauty means to mankind. I am also glad I am not a woman because if I were, I would have entered the competition and blown away the hopes of the other aspirants, not only with my perfect Barbie-like proportions, but with my sensual charms and well placed dimples. I would have made mincemeat of those gray-headed judges and have them eating whipped cream from the palm of my hand. If I were a woman I would have those old geezers begging not only for more, but to not call their wives or girlfriends. Holding up my number and being inspected would have turned me on and unleashed my charms. My UWI education would have counted for something but only on my Miss Universe resume and not in my head. My beauty would have been the stuff men crave 24/7 and cost them their place in Heaven.
Forgive the rant above and though being a beauty competition judge is still my boyhood dream, I don’t envy the amount of bad-eye I would receive from the rejected contestants. Who am I to decide who is better than who, they would say. My score sheet and remarks would be etched in my brain and labeled “Top Secret” for security purposes. Maybe online voting should be part of the selection process to help point the aging judges in the right direction. Seeing too many bikini-clad beauties over a short space of time can only cause old men to bend and break. But I speak as an envious man with no training in either beauty selection or knowing a good thing when I see it.
Whenever taxes are increased or new ones created people fuss, forgetting taxes are paid by the people, to the people, for the people. Taxes are used to run a country not ruin it and without taxes like personal income tax, VAT, import duty, corporation tax, oil, gas and property taxes we would have poor health services, a high murder rate, traffic jams, corrupt leaders, clogged courts and tall empty buildings built in one location due to the fragile ego of an incompetent leader. Without taxes we would have frustrated citizens accessing basic services like collecting January CXC forms for stupid children, applying for passports, getting “free” health care, parking, and foreign exchange at the banks. Taxes are for the good of the people and not for businessmen to buy apartments in Miami or BMWs for the Johnny-come-lately contractors who support the ruling party and nothing else. Taxes are increased by Governments not to tax the people but because the Government loves the people and needs more to do even less. Without taxes there is no power and without power it’s harder to get away with stealing, or as Jumbie rightly said, ‘tiefing.’