Today, February 12, 2009 marks the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin, a man who discovered we didn’t just happen but evolved from some sort of blob or blog. Unfortunately or fortunately, Charles Darwin did not have a blog in the form that exist today otherwise he would have received numerous hate-comments from those who would have preferred he renounced his Theory of Evolution on his death bed. He would have also received much praise and a blog award or two. If Darwin was alive today he would not have become a celebrity woman-beater or taken a vacation on The Galapagos Islands but would have, instead, written a blog post called the Origin of The Modern Blog.
Fortunately, this blogger is not like Charles Darwin and is still alive. This blogger is also Darwin’s very distant relative since we both evolved from the same mess. Having a couple of the same genes as Darwin, this blogger will now try to briefly explain the highly ignored and disrespected Theory of Blog Evolution:
When the first blog started several years ago it was boring. It consisted of the blogger lamenting the taste of oatmeal and his wife’s mother. Maybe he was a serial killer or pervert, I don’t know. However, since that time, many blogs spawned from that one blog. Blogs branched out into several categories such as humor, politics, entertainment, hobbies, science, voodoo, diaspora, activism, oath meal, nothing-really, and even boredom. Thankfully, not all blogs survived and the process called the natural selection of blogs weeded out unfit blogs but that did not mean the blog had to be perfect to survive. Good enough was all blogs needed to be and there are now too many of those. Yes, some blogs did change by chance and WordPress but they mainly changed to adapt to their environment. That environment could have been in the form of lack of visitors or even a lack of comments. It could also have been in the form of the war in Iraq, girl-hitting by a popular R&B singer, or even corruption in Port of Spain.
Michael Phelps developed a streamline body because he spent most of his life in water. Usain Bolt developed long legs to escape speeding gangsta bullets and fans in Jamaica. In the same way some blogs developed comment moderation to handle hostile comments and sexy spam while others that failed to adapt were crushed under the weight of sex and real estate for sale comments. Some blogs attached themselves to widgets to have some useful content or slick attractions for visitors while others shamelessly advertised on Google in order to survive. Unfortunately, blogs by themselves did not have the intelligence to know what change was right or wrong and sometimes neither did the blogger. If the blog suited the environment the blog survived and some even developed into well-visited blogs with some useful content and produced a few good looking children.
This Theory of Blog Evolution is based on observation of the facts. It is not a pie in the sky or wishful thinking. As more fossilized blogs are found and studied the theory will be modified accordingly and if necessary.
I didn’t know much about Global Voices Online except what I read about Global Voices in Wikipedia and then on Janine Mendes-Franco’s blog Francomenz and I liked what I read. Janie Mendes-Franco has been a regular visitor to this blog is responsible for highlighting several of my blog posts on Global Voices Online. I thank her for it. The goal of Global Voices is worthy and it’s all about enabling and empowering a community of “bridgebloggers” who “can make a bridge between two languages, or two cultures.” It’s about amplifying blog voices and defending free speech online. Global Voices Online understands the power of the blog and blogs should never be underestimated.
I donated to Global Voices Online, not because I wanted the badge you see above but because blogs are the new press and collectively, bloggers can make a positive difference to the World in ways that were never possible before. I am not sure if my blog can make a difference but I am willing to keep trying.
SING ONLY ONE WORD! It’s not as easy as you might think! Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It’s really hard to only use one word answers. Be sure to tag the person you received it from!
1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your significant other? SO
3. Your hair? black
4. Your mother? well
5. Your father? gone
6. Your favorite song? Imagine
7. Your dream last night? wet
8. Your favorite drink? fizzy
9. Your dream/goal? happy
10. What room you are in? cell
11. Your hobby? blogging
12. Your fear? government
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? above
14. Where were you last night? nowhere?
15. Something that you aren’t? ugly
16. Muffins? no
17. Wish list item? unmentionable
18. Where you grew up? Trinidad
19. Last thing you did? type
20. What are you wearing? smile
21. Your TV? flat
22. Your pets? dog
23. Friends? five
24. Your life? good
25. Your mood? unbelievable
26. Missing someone? no
27. Car? Toyota
28. Something you’re not wearing? panty
29. Your favorite store? Amazon
30. Your favorite color? blue
33. When is the last time you laughed? now
34. Last time you cried? ages
35. Who will resend this? none
36. Favorite vacation? Tobago
37. One person who emails me regularly? Tunks
38. My favorite place to eat? Trotters
Rules: Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag 10 people. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real; nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can’t use your name for the boy/girl name question. Not always as easy as it looks. Have Fun!!”
1. What is your name: Aka
2. A four Letter Word: muck
3. A boy’s Name: Dick
4. A girl’s Name: Connie
5. An occupation: beaver catcher
6. A color: Garden Hose Green
7. Something you wear: smirk
8. A food: Turkey Brest
9. Something found in the bathroom: people
10. A place: prison
11. A reason for being late: stupid people
12. Something you shout: Thief!
13. A movie title: Gone With The Gin
14. Something you drink: Bloody Mary
15. A musical group: Black Eyed Peas
16. An animal: grouper
Once again I, aka_lol, have been the subject of a vicious tag for reasons that should be obvious to those who know me , those who admire me, and those who have expressed great indifference to my very existence and blog. After much deliberation and forgetfulness I decided to respond to the tag from Girlblue because my charm, cunning, occasional intelligence, and boundless humility prevents me from doing otherwise. Here is my list of over twenty interesting and/or little know things about me:
- Believes the camera is the best macocious device ever invented
- Is a music lover – all styles, all genres, all countries of origin, all peer to peer sources
- Is an animal lover except for snakes even though their tongues are the envy of every man
- Lucky number is 69
- Once had to adopt the crash landing position on a flight
- Never lost luggage or missed a flight
- Been to Portugal once
- Never ate sushi and doesn’t need oysters
- Doesn’t want to be envied or admired out of bed
- Loves to be physically active
- Never had a love affair with alcohol or fruit cake
- Loves being misunderstood
- Is misunderstood
- Never swears unless driving and even then in a very muffled and unintelligible voice.
- Once applied for sainthood but had my application rejected during the first evaluation stage when a $100 bill was discovered cleverly stapled to the back of the application form
- Thinks more problems can be solved with sarcasm than compassion
- Thinks the world will be a peaceful place when there is nothing to die for
- Would much prefer to see through women’s clothes that see through women
- Loves the ambiguity of the spoken word e.g. “She wanted to get ahead”
- Is hardly ever serious
- Can be forgetful
This a fictitious interview between President Elect Barack Obama and that devilish blogger, Aka_Lol. The interview was held in the back of the mind of the blogger on the 19th January 2009, the eve of his Inauguration as President. The President Elect was gracious enough to grant the interview and he always wanted to see inside the mind of a blogger. He was disappointed.
AKA: Mr. President Elect, how does it feel to be so close to becoming the most powerful man in the world?
BO: It’s like being a teenager. First they take away your Blackberry then they don’t let you say what is on your mind. Then they watch every move you make and don’t even let you drive or go to the mall. But the good thing is that you don’t get pimples. It feels good I guess.
AKA: So what are your plans immediately after the Inauguration Ceremony?
BO: Would Beyonce be there? Just joking, just joking.
AKA: Mr. President Elect, people have been asking what would be your priorities on assuming office on Wednesday.
BO: I will be removing that portrait of George W. and conducting interviews for a dog but only after I deal with Israel and Hamas. Bastards!
AKA: I understand you are attached to your Blackberry but the Secret Service and your lawyers have advised against it for both security and legal reasons.
BO: Have no fear, I will be out there and I will choose a puzzling name like Aka_Lol, perhaps. Wouldn’t it be nice to declare war via an email or SMS for a change. Seriously, as President I must do not only what is legal but also what is right.
AKA: What are your plans for the economy?
BO: The economy is like a balloon, the more you pump into it the bigger it gets but if you pump too much into it, one pin prick, and it goes out with a bang.
BO: I am saying we need a tougher balloon and less pricks.
AKA: That sounds like a plan. How was your recent vacation in Hawaii?
BO: It was great to be back home and Michelle and the kids had a good rest. One night we lost electricity for a few hours but I slept through the crisis.
AKA: Not signs of things to come, I hope.
The president Elect chuckles cynically and whispers something to a nearby Secret Service Agent while pointing at Aka. Aka looks nervous.
AKA: Women say you are sexy and you are idolized by almost 80% of the US and 95% of the World. Do you think that would work in your favor?
BO: Aka, sexy can be a dangerous asset and like a shaken can of Coca Cola it must be used with caution or else it could blow up in your face.
AKA: How would being a black man affect the Presidency?
BO: I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton’s Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas. I’ve gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world’s poorest nations. I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slave owners…
AKA: Mr. President Elect, sorry for cutting you short but my blog is waiting for this interview and time is of the essence.
BO: Of course. Blog is life and life is blog.
AKA: You are young, athletic, handsome, charismatic, extremely well educated and possess a six pack. Do you think you have set a new precedent for US presidents and even word leaders?
BO: I hope so, Aka. Part of the problem we face today is a that most World Leaders are so pathetically ugly they wage wars and spend needlessly to get a little attention and show their people who is boss. I am leaps and bounds ahead of the pack in that regard.
AKA: Yes, indeed Mr. President Elect. Do you think Hillary will be an asset to your administration?
BO: We need a woman to bring peace to the world. Women are peaceful by nature.
Both Aka and BO suddenly burst out laughing and in the uproar someone blurts out “What have I done.” Sanity returns to the room.
AKA: Mr. President Elect, do you still smoke?
BO: Only in bed Aka, only in bed.
AKA: Thank you Sir, for your time. Good luck and may the Change be with you and The World.
BO: Thank You.
I got this idea from Wordtryst’s blog post called Have You Ever…
I liked that particular meme (insight into a blogger’s personality) and thought it would be nice to adapt it for the Trinidad and Tobago blogger.
As with Wordtryst, I also highlighted the things I am willing to admit I have done.
Have You ever…
- Slept under the stars
- Gotten caught in a flood
- Seen a real live Manatee
- Seen turtles lay eggs
- Eaten turtle meat
- Watched a meteor shower
- Gotten involved with a landslide
- Gone to Mt. St. Benedict
- Heard a real gunshot
- Hiked on the Northern Range
- Held a praying mantis
- Been held up while praying
- Sung Calypso
- Tried to get a passport appointment
- Visited Tobago
- Been robbed in Tobago
- Watched sparking electricity lines
- Seen smoke come out the back of your TV
- Refused KFC
- Ate doubles at 2 am
- Had food poisoning
- Grown your own weed
- Known any Miss Trinidad and Tobago beauty contestants
- Had a pillow fight
- Feted all night
- Taken a PH taxi
- Been kidnapped
- Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
- Held a cock or common fowl
- Gone skinny dipping
- Ran a 5K
- Ridden a pirogue
- Helped pull sein
- Been insane
- Watched a sunrise or sunset
- Hit a six
- Been on a cruise
- Seen Maracas Waterfalls in person
- Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
- Had ancestors
- Had enough money to be truly satisfied
- Bought saheena and kachourie in Debe
- Seen the Lighthouse of Port of Spain
- Played pan
- Had the chicken combo at Movietowne
- Sung karaoke
- Seen a WASA pipe leak
- Bought a stranger a roti
- Eaten a strange roti
- Visited Rio Claro or Cedros
- Caught crab on the beach by flambeau light
- Been transported in an ambulance
- Driven on the shoulder
- Had your portrait painted
- Been arrested
- Had you photo appear on a website
- Seen the Pitch Lake in person
- Been to the top of the Hyatt Hotel in Port of Spain
- Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
- Kissed a member of the opposite sex in the rain
- Kissed a member of the opposite sex
- Cooked at the banks of a river
- Been held up at gun point
- Considered a life of crime
- Visited a family member at Golden Grove
- Been in a movie
- Taken a martial arts class
- Kicked someone’s butt
- Been transported in the trunk of a car
- Eaten Crix for lunch
- Cooked curried duck
- Gone girl watching on Frederick Street
- Donated blood, platelets, plasma or body parts
- Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp or a Government Office
- Bounced a check
- Visited the Zen Nightclub
- Bounced out of a nightclub
- Flown in a helicopter
- Eaten Smoked Herring
- Stood in Woodford Square
- Toured the Caroni Bird Sanctuary
- Seen dead birds at The Sanctuary
- Broken a bone
- Broken someone else’s bone
- Been on the Bus Route illegally
- Published a book (do photo books count?)
- Read a book
- Bought a brand new car
- Fixed a flat in the Beetham
- Walked in Queen’s Park Savannah
- Been chased in the Queen’s Park Savanna
- Had your picture in the newspaper
- Had dengue fever
- Been called for jury duty
- Tried to get parking in Port of Spain
- Met someone famous
- Been or are someone famous
- Lost a car
- Been on TV (Name called once)
- Ran out of water with soap on your skin
- Blogged like no ones looking
There is nothing wrong with sexy girls and guys or pictures of them and we, as unfortunate as it might first appear to the easily offended, live in a world driven by sexy. Cover girls and guys are always sexy. They may not always be slim but they are always sexy. Expensive cars are designed with sexy in mind with the sports car being the first alternative to sex invented, closely followed by marriage. With the exception of science magazines the brain is never used on the front cover. Photos of the butt at every angle have sold more beer, jeans, Slim Fast and dumbbells than photos of that collection of 100 billion neurons ever did. Sexy and the quest for sexiness, either by becoming or observing, is the underlying motivator of our brains. To deny sexiness exist, and its expression necessary, is to deny life itself.
So, should blogs be sexy? Yes, but only if you want to get them noticed. But getting a couple hundred visits per day or a dozen comments per post doesn’t mean anything if the blogger doesn’t feel the post is important. I enjoy reading some of my most unpopular blog post the most because it was meaningful to me and the honest expression of my life – yes they might be cryptic to some. We should not blog for attention but for our need for expression. What people write is important but what they imply is even more important. I don’t mean to say that blogs should be pornographic in nature and its writing and content vulgar. I feel pornography is for the depraved and the deprived, and possibly the married. Sexiness, on the other hand, is for those who live and see life as if alive.
Sexiness comes in subtle forms but vulgarity doesn’t. Sexiness is not only
the human form but the human form of expression. Sexiness is bold and daring. Sexiness can be shy but only when the shyness is confident. Sexiness is happiness that pleases the mind in such a way it causes the heart to beat even a fraction faster and the eyes to open a millimeter more. Great painters didn’t always paint sexy pictures of nudes but they also painted sexy pictures of landscapes where the viewer felt alive with that mild but tingly urge to reproduce.
A sexy blog post can contain the description of a mysterious sound in the blogger’s ceiling or even this post. Sexy, as I pointed out before, is how people express their aliveness. Sexiness is not a bad word but a great and natural feeling.
October was another Very Good month for This Beach Called Life: The aka_lol’s Blog
Here are the stats for the month of October 2008:
Total visits: 9,193
Average visits per day: 297
Best October Day: October 8th – 617 visits
Top Post for the Year so far:
So far November looks like it will be even better than October with an average of 367 visits per day.
Naturally, I celebrated on hearing the news and am still feeling the effects of the hangover.
In keeping with the spirit of Brilliante, I have nominated the following Blogs for the Brilliante Blog Award Priemo – 2008. I list them here in no particular order except random or reverse alphabitical.
For instructions on how you can also be part of this Award system click here.
The Awards Go To…
Blogging has taken the world by storm and changed the way we mumble to ourselves. Blogging can be described as photography in words. Like good photographs, blogs are more interesting when the subject is revealing, the composition is clever, and the exposure just right. Blogging is a way in which we let the world know we exist and are pissed off at that point in time. It is our way of speaking to ourselves so that others can hear if they want. It is our own private radio station.
Not being able to write a proper sentence has never stopped someone from saying something, and being understood. Why should it? We are not prime time but one of the countless billions of stars talking at the same time hoping a radio telescope somewhere will call us random and intelligent. But just because the radio telescope didn’t focus on us doesn’t mean we do not exist or our ramblings are meaningless.
In hindsight it seems blogging is an inevitable part of our evolution since one characteristic of being alive is to be noticed in as many ways possible. The more ways we express ourselves the more alive we feel and the less we feel like a Dinner Mint wrapper – useful until the sweetie is sucked. A blog is now like a cell phone and everybody has more than one. In the future, blogs will replace obituaries, and it will be our main legacy until something better comes along.
Preface to the Introduction
I decided to write this post because I didn’t know what else to write and I felt I should write something. It’s these voices next to my head.
This Beach Called Life – The aka_lol’s Blog was imported from Blogger into WordPress just over one year ago and I think it was a good year for the blog compared to a bad year. It was a good year, and not just for visits, but for poor grammar, disjointed paragraphs, and nonsensical post. As you may not have realized there is no theme for this blog other what goes on in my mind and keyboard. I am not nuts but some say insanity becomes me. Despite my self-proclaimed sanity, sometimes this blog goes crazy and attracts many visitors who become speechless on entry. Nevertheless, it’s nice when the visits go up on my stat counter and I am always curious to know what brought visitors here.
The Actual Superficial Content
This blog has been visited 27,826 times since July 16th, 2007. The most amount of visitors in one day occurred on February 7th, 2007 with 641 visits because of Carnival. More recently, the peak of 428 on the 17th July was due to the Trinidad Storm entry, Halle Berry and The Happening. Carla Bruni has been some help in keeping the stats above 100 per day and Everything You Wanted to Know About Aka has become popular and I think I figured out the glitch that made it so. Bikini Carnival continues to plod along but barely.
Friends of this Blog
I would like to thank those who commented and I would also like to thank those who commented more even more. You know who you are. The Blogroll on the side bar has a list of good bloggers who may have commented and some who are the silent type. Don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind but just remember I offend easily.
One day I hope to sell the movie rights to this blog and finally make aka_lol a pronounceable household word.
There is no end in sight.
Rat: Hey Goat, you writing your blog?
Goat: Go away Rat!
Rat: You know I like blogs…I really do…You know why?
Goat: Go away Rat!
Rat: Because they provide their frustrated creator with the delusional outlet of being a published author. Sort of like how the prison wardens let the psychotic inmates scribble “poetry” on the cell wall so he doesn’t beat his bunkmate with a toilet seat.
Goat: Perhaps he didn’t like the analogy.
Some time ago, on October 14th to be exact, I was given the Rockin’ Blogger Award by the soon to be published author Liane Spicer of WORDTRYST, who is currently in edit mode. Up to now I have not been able to display the Rockin’ Blogger Award at the side>>>>>… of this blog so I decided to give the Award its own blog post, which is equivalent to a space on my blog-trophy mantle. Thanks again to WORDTRYST for the recognition and also for realizing my mantle was empty :)
Aka wanted his blog to change direction. He wanted it to have even some direction. After all, his blog was his legacy. Some things in life are more unfortunate than others but Aka’s blog was beyond unfortunate. It became an embarrassment to the blogging community and there were plans afoot to either have him shape up or ship out. Aka couldn’t decide which was worse so he flipped a coin. The coin, the finest decision making device ever invented, choose shaping up. The transformation would necessairly have to start with a name change, so he brain-stormed for several painful seconds. In Aka’s case, brain-storms were more like brain-drizzles, or brain-fizzles.
Ok, enough of Aka and his ramblings. Here are the nominees for Best Aka’s New Blog Name:
The Things We Do For Blog
No Money No Blog
16 Ways To Leave Your Blogger
That’s What Blog Is All About
Blog Of My Life
All in Blog Is Fair
Feel Like Making Blog
Glory Of Blog
I Blog The Way You Blog Me
I Don’t Want To Live Without Your Blog
Blogs Can Move Mountains
Blog Will Conquer All
All Out Of Blog
Remember Me With Blog
Blog Me Or Leave Me
Will You Still Blog Me Tomorrow
My Blog Is Your Blog
I Know What Blog Is
Could This Be Blog
And the winner is…………coming soon to a Blog near you.