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China’s Best Kept Secret – 吉胡阿依


Today is  China‘s big day, or Double Ten, but it is even more special this year as people like me get to blog about  Triple Ten. Because the chances are close to zero that I will live to see another Triple Ten I am posting my tribute to China and their contribution to Trinidad and Tobago and the world.

Geely Tiger

China’s best kept secret isn’t the melamine in the milk, the Geely Tiger GT, Liu Xiaobo or the name of the owner of the Gunapo Church. China’s best kept secret is 25 year-old Ayi Jihu (吉胡阿依) who is being called China’s Madonna by people who are authorized to do these things.  If you look at some of Ayi’s videos on YouTube you will notice she can wine quite well by communist standards, a skill she developed while living in London, a city more cosmopolitan and has as much wining as  Port of Spain during Carnival time.  Ayi Jihu sold more than 100 million downloads of her music in China, which I assume, is a great achievement given China’s population of 1.4 billion. She is considered an R&B star and Ayi is going places like  Bollywood where she is due to appear in a production soon.

Ayi Jihu

I admire the Chinese not just for their ability to beat up, torture, then jail dissidents when needed, but for their ability to become leaders in the manufacture of everything from computer motherboards to people.  The Chinese I know in Trinidad and Tobago are smart and this might be so because when China has to export people their pool to choose from is large. Here in Trinidad and Tobago, our pool is small so even with laptops for many by 2020 we may still have to depend on oil and gas money rather than scattered brains to make ends meet. Drill, drill, drill!  China is on target to attaining world dominance but this will only happen when they conquer the last two frontiers – the automobile and winer-gul industries. Look out Toyota and Trinidad and Tobago, China is coming in your way.

And now for the traditional Chinese version of the post above:

使用Bablefish,下列被翻譯了:

今天是China’ s大天、雙十節或者雙十,但是它是更加特別今年,當像我的人们有關於三倍十的博克。 由于機會是接近零我將居住看另一三倍十我張貼我的進貢到中國和他們的對千里達與多貝哥和世界的貢獻。 中國的最佳的被保留的秘密不是在牛奶、Geely老虎GT,劉Xiaobo或Gunapo教會的所有者的名字的三聚氰胺。 中國的最佳的被保留的秘密是由人称中國的Madonna被批准做這些事的25歲的Ayi Jihu (吉胡阿依)。 如果您看一些Ayi’ 在您注意的YouTube的s錄影她可以相當很好喝酒根據亞洲標準,她開发,當住在倫敦时的技巧,更加世界性的城市並且有一样喝酒象口岸- -在狂歡節时间,西班牙。 Ayi Jihu賣了超过100她的音樂百萬下載在中國,我假設,指定的一個巨大成就中國的人口1.4十億。 她被认為R& B星和Ayi是去的地方,如Bollywood她就该很快的地方出现於生產。 我敬佩中國人不僅他們的能力的能打,拷打,然后拘留不滿分子,當需要,但是為了他們的能力能成為在一切的製造的領導從計算機主板到人。 我在千里達與多貝哥认识的中國人是聰明的,並且這也許如此是,因為,當中國必須出口人时他們的選擇的水池從是大。 這裡在千里達與多貝哥,我們的水池是小的,因此甚而與許多的膝上型計算機由2020我們也許仍然必須依靠油和煤气金錢而不是腦子。 鑽子,鑽子,鑽子! 中國在目標對獲得世界優勢,但是這只將發生,當他們征服前二個邊境-汽車和winer-gul產業。 看豐田,並且千里達與多貝哥,中國來臨您的方式。

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Driving Down the Fuel Subsidy


Wake up and smell the lotus

The gasoline and diesel subsidy in Trinidad and Tobago will be about $TT2.7 billion this year and the Government is looking at ways of reducing this subsidy, probably to reduce the national debt, and to pay off rich Clico investors who are itching to use their funds to buy more houses in Florida. The Government is proposing to reduce the fuel subsidy by encouraging the use of Compressed Natural Gas (CNG) once again. Personally, I think this is another pie-in-the-sky plan since CNG has failed to take off in Trinidad and Tobago every time a ruling regime tries to reintroduce its use despite the enormous potential for corruption in its implementation.

If the Government wants to reduce the fuel subsidy there are simpler and less corrupt ways to do it and those ways simply mean people should wake up and smell the lotus flower and drive smart. Driving smart will reduce fuel consumption which means less fuel to subsidize. To drive smart you only need to observe some simple guidelines as follows:

  • Don’t drive aggressively or like an idiot. Accelerate slowly even in traffic and never cross the speed limit unless the perfect opportunity to tailgate a speeding ambulance arises. Some say you can improve your gas mileage by as much as 30% by following this rule. You will also be less likely to kill innocent people due to your natural born stupidity.
  • Remove excess weight. This would mean not only to encourage your passengers to lose 50 pounds apiece but also the removal of things you mindlessly carry around in the trunk like Tiger Woods autographed golf clubs, wet Speedo swimming trunks and bikinis, crates of bananas, and scaffolding removed from the Gunapo Church site. Depending on the amount of weight you shed, you can improve mileage by 1 or even 2 percent.
  • Avoid excessive idling. This would be near impossible if you are into URP, CEPEP, or work at any Government Office that interfaces with the public but every little reduction in idle time will help the economy.
  • Buy cars with good fuel economy like the Toyota Corolla with a 1.5 cc VVT engine or the Honda Civic with a 1.6 cc iVTEC engine. There are many other cars with good fuel economy on the market locally but try to avoid those foreign-used cars since most dealers are not honest but have a talent for selling Eskimos ice and politicians corruption. Their public image of honesty can be very deceptive.
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Flying Sexy – Cebu Pacific Understands Why


This is how airline flight safety instructions should be delivered. I have always been a firm believer in the old adage from the Wright brothers, “flying should be fun, sexy and successful.” Yes, we all need to pay strict attention to airline safety instructions but judging from the amount of passengers who scream and bawl when a pilot announces the aircraft is going to hit the ground in an unplanned location and manner, you know the passengers were not paying attention earlier. This is an example of how the Philippines’ Cebu Pacific Airlines make customer safety and attention their number one priority. Obviously Cebu Pacific requires flight attendants to not only be able to dance but to be attractive, young, females who look good in tight orange tops. Passengers want more that a half pack of peanuts and a cold beverage delivered from random looking people in uniforms, passengers want to be happy while they are still alive.

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Shyamalan’s DEVIL


Devil is the first first in a series of movies called the Night Chronicles. M. Night Shyamalan is the brains behind this endeavor which will have both its loyal friendlies and hostiles. Devil is directed by John Erick Dowdle and written by Brian Nelson. The story comes from The Mind of M. Night Shyamalan who, according to recent reports, is being laughed at during the showing of the Devil trailers on the appearance of that statement. I assume this laughing is an attempt to ridicule Shyamalan for reasons that might be trendy. Maybe people are laughing because they feel his film making abilities has  declined steadily since Sixth Sense. I don’t know about that but Shyamalan’s movies have be making millions ever since and his recent “failure,” The Last Airbender which has grossed US$290,000,000 worldwide so far (DVD sales not added). Airbender cost US$150,000,000 to make plus US$130,000,000 to market which is hefty by any standards. On the other hand, Nicholas Cage’s Sorcerer’s Apprentice cost Disney US$160,000,000 to make and and maybe more than half of that to market but has only managed US$200,000,000 worldwide.  I am not sure how accurate budget figures are for movies as the public pronouncements about movie budgets are used as a clever marketing tool to woo dollar-centered audiences. What it seems is that Shyamalan is also  able to generate large  revenues from a loyal negative following  and in the world of celebrities, a good negative makes as much money or even more than the typical, boring positives alone.

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Kim Kardashian – More than you wanted to know, less than you wanted to see


Kim Kardashain

  • Kim’s real name is Kimberly Noel Kardashian
  • Kim will be 30 years old on October 21st this year
  • Kim Kardashian became famous because she is the daughter of the late attorney Robert Kardashian of O.J Simpson’s defense lawyer fame.
  • But most of her initial fame came from not just being the daughter of a high-profile lawyer but also the popularity of a sex tape with her former boyfriend Ray J – Click To Download
  • It’s unclear if she has any talent besides being famous
  • Up to today, she is not famous for her academic achievements


Kim Kardashian and Madame Tussauds Wax Figure

Kim Kardashian Dressed for Halloween

  • Kim Kardashian doesn’t date – so what does she do
  • Kim Kardashian objected to the selling of lookalike blow-Up dolls possibly on the grounds that nobody will Be able to tell which is the doll, and which is human
  • Has a Weird Fetish in men – see if you qualify

Kim Kardashian pictured on the beach in Miami. Kim took an afternoon stroll with a friend and stopped to throw a football around.

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Ferrari – A Symbol for Sex


Red Ferrari - Hot Girl

As if the world didn’t have enough car worries with the recent massive screw up from Toyota and finding legal parking in Port of Spain, it now has the Ferrari spontaneous combustion fiasco to deal with. Apparently Ferrari is now recalling all the US$265,000 ($TT3, 000,000 after taxes in TnT) model 458 cars that were made this year (2010) because of a “thermal incident” as the picture (on the l-e-f-t) shows. Because of Ferrari’s exclusive nature due to price, Ferraris have been used for years by male millionaires and ponzi schemers to attract young, willing but well-shaped females into a world of luxury, chocolates, and rocking yacht-sex.

Hot Bikini Girl Willingly Washes Ferrari

The Ferrari is one of the best known symbols of the filthy-rich male suffering from a midlife crisis or the spoilt son of a mega millionaire. There is an old wives’ tale that says the roar of a V12, 6-liter Ferrari engine can cause most well-proportioned, young females to want to strip down to their bikinis and wash and polish a red Ferrari in the hot sun while the owner lounges in the cool looking on, sipping champagne, eating cold caviar, munching on hot aloo pies and typing his blog.

Except for the occasional tendency to catch fire, Ferraris are beautifully engineered cars that were designed by brilliant male engineers with the female supermodel in mind. So, if a sexy supermodel type woman tells you she will wash your car in her underwear in the blistering hot midday tropical sun if only it was a Ferrari, sell your SUV and house to raise part of the down-payment for a used one. The thrill will be more than worth it.

Hot_Ferrari_Girl

Hot Ferrari Girl

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Wind Turbines Trinidad and Tobago Style


Taken by Neutronic
Image via Wikipedia

I am sure people in the Government are aware that some studies have already been done at UWI relating to wind turbines and other forms of alternative and renewable energy and its feasibility, or lack off feasibility in Trinidad and Tobago. I was told that even BPTT is/was doing some of its own research into wind energy in Trinidad, or maybe it was just Tobago – BP is an energy company that needs to avoid another oil spill, you see.

I don’t know if large-scale electricity generation using wind turbines will be feasible in Trinidad and Tobago as large amounts of land will be needed, vexing local farmers, mall builders and squatters. The idea of wind turbines sounds good, clean and renewable but wind turbines are not maintenance free as they need the occasional bug-cleaning and cobeux removal. As the power needs for the country grows the land for wind farm expansion may have to eventually be a man-made island off Otaheti.

I doubt there will be many residents in Trinidad and Tobago who will take up the wind turbine tax break proposed in the 2011 budget because of the cost of installing an 80-foot plus pole in their backyard, a pole similar in stature to the flagpole in the National Stadium. Besides the exorbitant cost of hiring a crane to hoist the tall pole and a 5 kW wind turbine, getting Town and Country approval isn’t cheap and not likely. Noise from the wind turbine might not be a big issue in any Trinidad and Tobago neighbourhood since the noise from those Peak and Katashi air conditioning units will drown out anything. I wonder what size battery bank will be needed for a 5 kW wind turbine? I can see wind turbine battery bank sizing will be the next project for some budding engineer.

I suppose this Government proposal was aimed at anybody (entrepreneur, smart man etc) who wants to get into the wind farm business and sell electricity to the nation.  Sorry for sounding so negative but my experiences tell me that in Trinidad and Tobago where big money is concerned, nothing is what it appears to be. I am not sure if producing electricity from wind turbines will be economic today as the country now has to find use for the excess energy that was supposed to go to the infamous Alutrint.

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Bollywood Hero – Easy on the eyes


The mini-series, Bollywood Hero was not bad and I will probably look at it again a few months. However, I came across this YouTube which was obviously a promotion for the series in the US. Not a bad idea. Planned spontaneity can be an excellent marketing tool.  Bollywood Hero, a three-part mini-series, premiered last year in the United States on a channel called IFC but I only saw it this year on something called ten-dollar DVD. Bollywood Hero was entertaining with some good laughs and songs. The mini-series was aimed at US or Western audiences and was filmed almost entirely in India. The goofy looking but likable American comedian Chris Kattan is an unlikely Bollywood Hero and starred as himself  in the mini-series which is also  filled with the expected Bollywood drama and two uncommonly beautiful beauties, former Miss India-Universe, Neha Dhupia, and former Miss India-USA, Pooja Kumar (पूजा कुमार). Bollywood Hero is obviously pleasant on the male eyes.

Pooja Kumar

Neha Dhupia

Chris Kattan, Pooja Kumar and Neha Dhupia at event of Bollywood Hero

It’s the photographer, not the camera, stupid – my Pentax K-7 first shots


A Rainy Morning at Store Bay, Tobago

The picture above doesn’t even come close to telling the full story as to what was going on around as the photo was being taken. Just minutes after the shot there was an extremely heavy downpour with lightening and thunder that became the norm in Tobago the weekend – sorry nothing more dramatic was happening. It was cat and mouse with the rain and I can’t recall ever experiencing so much bad weather in the island. Anyway, this was my first outing with the Pentax K-7 and while most people were reading one of the late Stieg Larsson’s popular, sexy, summer-reads, I battled with the K-7 user manual and Magic Lantern Guide. I am not complaining since getting to know your new camera is one reason people buy new cameras they may or may not need.

I like the K-7 as the learning curve is nice and steep.  The best photos I took so far with the K-7  are portrait shots of people who will never permit me to post their photos, so I have to post landscapes with blown out highlights that would make a tolerant histogram cringe. The photos were shot in Adobe DNG RAW and processed with Adobe Lightroom 2.5 which I am learning to use with one of Scott Kelby‘s many books.

Here are my first public post with Pentax K-7 shots, which supplies proof that a new camera does not mean better photographs – it’s almost always the photographer’s fault.

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Managing Corruption in Trinidad and Tobago


Kim Kardashian - Presented For Distraction Purposes Only

One way corrupt people manage their guilt is to give some of their ill gotten booty to charity. The corrupt delude themselves into thinking that their God would not only forgive them for stealing if they give some to the poor but he might even bless them with even bigger opportunities to illegally pocket state funds once they give something to the lucky poor and chosen political party rather than squander all on high-rises in Florida, European vacations, big cars, Ten Cane Rum, and outside women.  Managing guilt via delusions about God is a major way the corrupt don’t go mad with guilt. There are some corrupt ones, though, who simply don’t give a flying green fig about anything but themselves and they are the ones who we should fear the most. They walk amongst us just that they always wear more expensive shirts.

Save your mind - don't corrupt it!

Being successful in the corruption business requires not only the smarts to avoid being convicted of the crime, but to be able to fall asleep without sleeping tablets or alcohol.  The corrupt are a special breed and know how to hide evidence either by shredding documents, setting fire to some in what appears to be an everyday fire, and even by intimidating and ordering hits on whistle blowers. The fear of jail is what drives the corrupt to these extremes and it is this fear that cause them to widen the corruption net by intimidating and bribing their way away from arrest and conviction. This fear usually absorbs the rest of their corrupted lives.  Corrupt people become corrupt not because the opportunity to thief presented itself on a well-funded Government platter but because they were unable to see way down the road and how just the allegation of corruption destroys them but mainly how it destroys their family.

The fact that in Trinidad and Tobago there are probably no big time corrupt people in jail proves that corruption will become an embedded way of life for many who think the best way to be happy is with stolen money.

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Dear Dr. Tim


Dear Dr Tim,

I am a boy who was successful in the 2010 SEA examinations, and I want to express my gratefulness for the HP laptop and for your efforts in trying to protect me from bad sites that can mess up my innocent, little brain. A little brain that has seen as much real blood on the local TV news and neighborhood pavements as I have seen bulk-purchased ketchup at KFC. I was wondering though, Dr. Tim, as to what sites will I be prevented from seeing. I suppose the PNM website will be at the top of the list of bad sites but will I be able to blog freely like Jumbie, Chennette, aka, Scene, Liane, Bandi, GirlBlue, etc.? Ok, I will understand if you and your team of self-righteous educators ban aka’s wathless blog and his almost scandalous website but what about those other local blogs I mentioned. Some say these blogs can be considered national treasurers and one way of diversifying the economy. I think blogging should be taught in schools as a form of creativity and to inspire commonsense.

Pretty Laptop

On the same note, my friends and I were looking at some photos of bikini models online and wondering if the Ministry of Education considers Y.U.M.A or Tribe websites to be soft-core porn or local art? Mummy says it’s soft-core but daddy has Y.U.M.A as his home page and calls the site Yahoo! Daddy says the Government supports Carnival and Carnival is everybody thing and we culture. I think Tribe has some cool costumes for Carnival 2011. What do you think, Dr. Tim? Are you into Carnival costumes?  What about when  a Miss Trinidad and Tobago choose to go almost topless as a form of sacrifice to promote her country and our faltering economy internationally, will I have to buy a Guardian to see the photos or will my HP provide me with these historic and heroic  images during recess? Don’t worry too much as someone might BBM me the images. I hope you and your advisers don’t ban local talent from my curious, little non-pretentious eyes. Will I be able to go on Facebook like tantie Kammie and tell people about what I did in New York, Piarco or Time Magazine? I know you and your team have only a vague idea so far about how to make us brighter using an HP but these are early days and all that matters right now is keeping the easy election promises.

The Art of Trinidad Carnival

Dr. Tim, before I go, I hear people saying corporal punishment in schools is illegal but hanging murderers is not only legal but the way forward. I know I shouldn’t bother my little head with what form of killing is right or wrong for the country nor should I mix two ideas in one paragraph, much less a sentence, but will I have to use a track ball on the laptop  similar to the one on my Blackberry or one of those quirky touch pads? Will there be a quick turnaround time for repairs of laptops and will my school principal be taught how to execute simple laptop repairs to minimize learning down time? Can the laptops withstand  a six-foot drop on to a concrete surface and come out unscathed? Will HP appoint a local agent to handle repairs and if so, who? I wonder who these laptops are insured with? Just asking.

Yours Respectfully,

Boyo Boy

p.s.  We all also love Uncle Jack, and mummy calls him the Elastoplast man – a plaster for every sore.

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Black Label on the Rocks


Black Label on the Rocks in Tobago

Some people think the only thing yuh could get on the rocks in Tobago is a little crab but I have proof there is more to be had. Some people apparently also had a little Black Label Rum on the rocks and probably ketch a little crab after that.

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Tobago Crab Without Dumplings


Tobago Crab at Store Bay

Tobago Crab - No Dumpling

Here is a Tobago crab minus the dumplings. Around this time of the year there are many Trinis who line up by Miss Jean or Miss Trim in Store Bay, Tobago to buy Crab and Dumpling without thinking that neither the dumplings nor the crabs are fond of the dish. These crabs are shy because they want to live and probably heard many horror stories about humans and their dumplings. Maybe Chennette, Wizzy or Chris can assure this crab in the photo – who probably reads my blog –  that he or she is much too thin to even come close to a box of Tobago dumplings.

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Latoya Woods Topless


La Toya Woods topless

It was bound to happen, just a matter of time. The Miss Universe franchise has decided to tackle the years of falling ratings because of stiff competition from Internet porn and Facebook by offering fans and well wishers topless photos of willing contestants who understand that “leaked” sex tapes can get out of hand especially if the lighting is poor and the sex is boring.

It is my understanding from an Indonesian website that Miss Trinidad and Tobago, La Toya Woods, decided to pose topless for official photographers. This topless photo shoot was done, I suppose, to fast track Miss Woods’ career in the dog-eat-dog-and-cat world of competitive beauty. With the local economy being what it is, I believe Miss Woods’ decision to show more of her assets internationally than other contestants will pay off while she is still on the perky side. Strike while the iron is hot is always good advice.

Check out news  here.

Latoya Woods topless

Register and Vote for LaToya Woods HERE!!

Here is a translation from Indonesian to English from http://cybertainment.cbn.net.id -

Not only selebritis hollywood that dared to pose topless in covers of the magazine, the contestants Miss Universe 2010 then did not hesitate to pose topless when carrying out the process of photography for the contestants in Las Vegas, the United States on the Monday (9/8) then. One of them among them that is the contestant from Trinidad & Tobago, La Toya Woods. As being quoted by Access Hollywood, on last Tuesday (10/8), the contestant from Trinidad & Tobagi, La Toya Woods quite deliberate chose topless when being photographed. That the implementation of the reason La Toya Woods wanted to steal attention of the crowd. This my body and I was free to carry out any for my body, said La Toya Woods to the media.

Latoya Woods

Latoya Woods - Official Miss Universe Photo

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Inception – Not For Village Idiots


Kim Kardashian did not star in Inception but has featured in many dreams

Critics say Inception is a great movie made for the intelligent man and woman. Inception is like, well, so totally intellectual you can’t even take your mind off the movie for a second to admire the Miss Universe grade form accidentally brushing up against your almost retracted legs.

I saw Inception yesterday and I can assure you this movie is not for the stupid. Smart people found Inception so good they clapped at the end while the dumb ones hurried out the cinema with bent, confused heads carrying empty popcorn bags packed on top ketchup-stained chicken combo trays, looking for the nearest garbage bin to identify with. I pretended to be smart and gave a couple vague hand claps to hide my stupidity and tucked my chicken combo tray under the seat next to me. All I could have said to the group of both intellectual and pseudo-intellectual friends was that the movie was “cork.” One friend who is into science fiction and a physics PhD asked if I understood the movie, and I said “Wah dey hah tuh understand.”

Inception wallpaper

I was quietly confused trying to figure out whose dream was whose and what was a dream and what was a dream within a dream in this movie of dreams. The fact is that Inception is fast-paced, complicated and brilliant but it makes up for these shortcomings with totally awesome special effects. Leonardo DiCaprio played the part of a man who knows his dreams and can get into the head of other dreamers to steal secret information which I imagine can be stuff like the recipe for KFC or the facts behind the Guanapo church or even if a woman is wearing any underwear. What DiCaprio is however contracted to do in the movie is not to find out about underwear but to plant an idea in someone’s head via a dream – inception. It was a dumb idea but the movie nobody bothered to question the idea out of fear of being branded an idiot. What I was also able to pick up from the movie is that what you think is reality might be a dream and reading this blog may seem like a dream but I can assure you it is as real as silicon boobs.

Totem or Top?

So, out of fear of being labeled stupid, I rate Inception highly and recommend it to all my friends but especially my dumb enemies. You know who you are even if I don’t.

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This one looks serious – Tropical Storm Colin?


Maybe I am jumping the gun too fast but after that little bit of rain last Wednesday, I don’t think so. The system is now borderline orange and orange is not very good nor is it too bad. I am not saying the system will form into a storm or hurricane but I am saying am I very concerned. God is not a Trini and ask any victim of heavy rains and winds in this country and you would know I am right. I never liked the name Colin for a storm and much prefer female names like Anya, Latoya, Gabriela or even Wendy for a storm which will make an impression. Lets hope this system will fizzle but it’s that time of year where every possibility looks dangerous.

UPDATE (01-08-2010): According to predictions, no islands or landmass will be threatened except the possibility of the US when the storm might be in a weakened state. All this is subject to change as the hours and days go by.

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