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Carib and Stag – More Than Just Girls


More than just beer

More than just beer

Despite beer being brewed to perfection in Trinidad and Tobago at Carib Brewery in Champs Fleurs for decades, it only becomes real beer when served at the right temperature with peppered channa and that essential ingredient called our near perfect women. Some say if the Carib and Stag girls were discontinued, men would stop drinking beer and turn to meditation.

For countless years tourism, and in a few cases, a tourist, has taken a beating in Trinidad and Tobago. Because of poor marketing, poor work ethics, and career criminals we are constantly in treadmill mode in our attempts to woo visitors to our version of paradise. To get tourists to come to Trinidad and Tobago we would have to change our international image by highlighting our efficient policing efforts, preserve old buildings, ensure poison-free rivers and beaches, keep cobeauxs and crayfish alive and of course, highlight our diversely beautiful women using beer and blogs.

Like Crix, doubles, and commissions of inquiries, Carib and Stag have become true icons of our country but Carib and Stag have leaped to the head of the line with their marketing girls. There probably is a high turnover of these girls as shelf life can be short but the effect remains constant despite frequent changes.

The pictures that appeared on this blog were taken from the Carib Brewery website and Facebook pages.

http://www.caribbrewery.com/

http://www.facebook.com/caribbeer

http://www.facebook.com/stagamansbeer

Two facts about Carib and Stag in Trinidad and Tobago:

  • On May 16th 1950 Carib beer was first brewed
  • On Carnival Friday 1973 Stag beer was first brewed “in a 275ml A-line amber bottle. In the following year, its packaging moved to a 6 inch, 250ml green bottle”
Stag Beer Girls

Stag Beer Girls

 

Carib Girls

Carib Girls

Carib Girls Carib Girls 2

 

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PSY – GENTLEMAN


This is the new one from PSY, ‘GENTELEMAN’

The point is not if it’s good but if it’s good enough to plaster PSY into the South Korean and  World Hall of Musical Fame. I think ‘GENTLEMAN’ is nearly as deep a song lyrically as ‘GANGAM STYLE’ and I hope the world will also find  the new PSY song as moving. For those who do not remember of tried to forget ‘GANGAM STYLE’ was the song that caused nearly everybody, especially North Koreans, to admit that the world is not as serious as it looks.

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Bad Food Country


Clever Packaging of Fast Food

Clever Packaging of Fast Food

Trinidad and Tobago is a frustrating country to live in not only because the police service can be selectively incompetent so as to intentionally start unrest but the population gets constant mixed signals from the authorities. On one hand foreign fast food franchises are government-encouraged and causing traffic all over the place while on the other the Minister of Health accuses citizens of being too fat and unhealthy from fast foods thus becoming a drain on the treasury. Not a big drain as kickbacks paid over the years to politicians and their friends but a drain on the public purse by the public is always looked upon with the highest disgust by holders of high office.

Hot cross bun

Hot cross bun

Yes, we as a country need food and jobs but it seems we are doing this at the expense of our health and foreign exchange. We are a bad food society and the lines of people buying fried food and chips at locations nationwide will always vastly outnumber the amount of people lining up to greet any former political hero on his or her way to buy something down town. I can sympathize with the Minister of Health’s frustration  as citizens always complain about the level of health care available while lounging on a couch, enjoying KFC and a massive Pepsi backed up with a current roll without raisins.

Beer

Beer

Despite high taxes on cigarettes and alcohol, these companies are immensely profitable due to the addictive nature of their products and the foolish people who buy them. It is no different with fried food with salt. High taxes are never a deterrent with addictions and taxing bad food to pay for dialysis seems as foolish as giving crooks access to the treasury and depending on integrity laws to keep them honest.

We need to take our lives in our own hands and fight the attraction of these toxic substances being sold  for high profit and packed in cleverly designed fast food boxes and brown paper bags.  Saying no to bad food will benefit the economy and the happiness index of the country. The turning of our collective backs on bad foods will start a good food revolution and also force doctors into more productive and humanitarian professions such as farming and engineering.  It will be a win win situation. 

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Drones to fight Crime in Trinidad and Tobago


droneThe Government is planning to use mini-drone choppers in its latest attempt loose the fight against crime but win another term in office. The mini-drones will be outfitted with the latest spy equipment that can see through heavily draped windows and women, closed and bolted doors, hollow clay and concrete blocks plastered on both sides as well as politicians regardless of party. Apart from the latest spy equipment with current firmware, the drones will come with the usual annihilation equipment and MP3 players with ear buds. It is said that the drones will be controlled by an independent committee made up of ten citizens chosen by another independent committee selected by the President after consultation with the Prime Minister and  God. The Committee will be chosen from a wide cross section of the population and will include no more than one doubles vendor, one community leader and one atheist.  A two thirds majority – 6.667 people – will be required to activate the annihilation equipment where the target looks funny or is a gold-color Nissan. The drones will be capable of streaming live video via the social media and have its own Facebook page.

The Committee, like some politicians, church builders building churches from kick-back money, former head of State agencies and billionaire crooks, will be exempted from prosecution for any crime committed thus the Drone Committee will not have to worry about taking out the wrong man or car. Crime is expected to take a nose dive once the drones take to the air and start buzzing over crime hotspots and political meetings held behind closed doors. As is customary in this country, a kick-back will be paid to the politician or politicians who put the things in place for this latest crime fighting initiative to happen. As is also customary, offshore bank accounts will be set up as necessary.

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A Blackout under the Moonlight in Trinidad and Tobago


blackoutThe Easter Blackout of 2013 will go down in Trinidad and Tobago’s history as the most exciting thing to happen to this country since the attempted coup of 1990. It is rumored that this 8, 10, 12 hour electricity blackout was accidental and in no way the work of a defeated and humiliated but powerful and highly moral union or the disgruntled and eager-for-power opposition.

The massive outage happened some minutes after midnight on the start of the long Easter weekend and seemed more than a coincidence at first. With the aid of cell phones connected to the social media via cell sites running on backup batteries and the mauvais lang nature of Trinis, the extent of the outage was propagated among the population in a short time. Not only was the extent of the outage and what might have caused it known instantly but who meat was spoiling and how much mosquitoes was attacking who and where.

It was during this blackout that people had time to reflect on something other than Jack Warner and realize how dependent on electricity and Protox we have become. It was however very unfortunate that few realized how much nicer the country looked under the moonlight as compared to the pollution of street lights. This incident showed how easy it probably still is to shut the country down and that storming a Parliament full of idiots by another set of idiots will do very little to terrify the nation again. All that is needed is one false alarm from a gas plant and away we go.

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Corruption Continues to Flourish in Trinidad and Tobago with the Help of Government


skeletonDear Kamla and Anand,

I am now more than a bit concerned that corruption from the Manning era is flourishing under your watch. Despite all your ranting about setting up an Anti-corruption Commission, I have heard nothing about this essential service.   I don’t know if such a Commission exist since a Google search shows that it was last mentioned early in 2011. I blogged about such a measure in January 2011, full of hope that finally a Government in power will do something about the corruption infestation that is still plaguing our land.

What has happened since this People’s Partnership was elected is that senior government ministers are now partying with the obviously-corrupt public officials and some suspected big drug men and money launders are courting and liming with the opposition. By now, despite rants form politicians on both sides, the population knows that Section 34 was no accident and it was one of the few things that the Government, Opposition and other higher powers agreed on for the good of the “better people” of our land. Our marketed-as-fearless Prime Minister said back in January 2011  “If it is that a man works for $1,000 but he is driving a million-dollar BMW, then where did that money come from?” What I want to add is “Where did some of the directors of various Ministries get money to build their $10,000,000 dollar second homes in Trinidad, and buy new Prados and BMWs.” These homes are places where some self-righteous Government Ministers party with dubious characters (public servants) who might well be sponsoring the Government.

Much of the population is feeling betrayed by the Government and Opposition as people are realizing the depth of corruption and money laundering in this country. Both political parties seem to have a hand in allowing these activities to flourish as these political parties and party officials benefit immensely from dirty money. These parties are unpatriotic and their main goal is to ride the backs of voters so that they can protect the Mr. Bigs of our country. What lies beneath our political parties stinks even more than what we see on the surface and what we see on the surface is rotten beyond belief.

A Betrayed Voter

akalol

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Windows 8 and Orgasms


orgasmsInitial reviews of Microsoft’s Windows 8 suggest the learning curve is steep for regular Windows users  and apparently it even confuses the minds of eight year olds. This overlooked fact means both parents and grandparents with new PCs will be lost in the windowed woods without any form of tutoring for some time. Some expert reviewers are even suggesting that Windows 8 is not even related to Windows 7 in terms of user-interface so it should have been called something else – I suggest MS Confusion One, MS Confusion One Point One etc.

For those who are not following the intriguing world of Operating Systems for computers, Windows 8 is Microsoft’s attempt to have one OS for computer, laptop, tablet and phone. When Microsoft came up with the concept of Windows 8, they assumed most users had touch-screen computers so there is a heavy bias in Windows 8 to make mouse and keyboard use so difficult, PC users will consider throwing their PCs and best friends who tried to help but became just as insane, through the window.

It seems that the only people rushing to upgrade to Windows 8 will be those puzzle-solving freaks who will more than likely have several orgasms and near-orgasms while figuring out how to do simple things on Windows 8 like shut down the PC or an application. Finding the traditional Start button might even be equivalent to finding and using the elusive, and sometimes mythical, g-spot. Microsoft knows that in order to match Apple OS xxx, Windows 8 was inevitable as the world is rapidly evolving into an Apple-created touch-mode world. The Redmond folks probably thought that biting the bullet now is better than having a live grenade thrown at them later. On the bright side, we, the users,  will no longer have to point our mouses and click to load news articles or save girls in jpg format to our hard drive. The new intuitive touchy-feely, on-demand world will insist that if we want it we should touch it and save it on that virtual drive provided by some cloud guys.

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Amanda Chedu – Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe 2012 Hopeful


Amanda Chedu

Amanda Chedu

I am recommending that photos  of Amanda Chedu replace the standard eye chart at the opticians’ in order to encourage men to have their vision checked regularly. The only problem will be  that even a blind man can see this girl is more than very pretty.  Amanda Chedu is a Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe 2012 hopeful and a perfect example of what happiness in a man’s brain would look like.
Amanda Chedu

Amanda Chedu

Amanda Chedu

Amanda Chedu

Amanda Chedu

Amanda Chedu

Amanda Chedu

Amanda Chedu

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Trinidad and Tobago Budget-Minded Criminals


The only reason Citizens show a keen interest in the National Budget every year is that, besides Movietowne and Parliament, there isn’t much quality entertainment available to citizens of Trinidad and Tobago. Movietowne provides a nice environment for movies, dining and liming whereas Parliament supplies quality bacchanal due to an over-abundance of Parliamentarians and Senators with  the lowest morals, integrity and intelligence. The National Budget was always about the allocation of funds available for plundering by the elected and selected few and if the Budget provided relief and hope to the average Citizen it was purely coincidental. This year, the Prime Minister in her glee, pelted a few grains of budgetary delights at her chickens in an attempt to prevent them from noticing they were being slaughtered daily.

The National Budget was, and still is, about putting the elected and selected thieves on alert in order to get their act together so the Country’s money won’t be wasted of the common good but on the good of the chosen.  This Government is so similar to the last one I am beginning to realize the People’s Partnership was envious of the Manning regime, so they decided to copy Manning’s style from day one. The National Budget is not a statement of the way forward for the country but a newsletter for white-collar criminals of Trinidad and Tobago. It is an important document used for planning by this elite bunch as this is a country where white-collar criminals are protected by the law and their lawyers on the inside.

From Manning to Persad-Bissessar – not a damn thing has changed except for the changing of the incompetents and big time thieves.

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From Democracy to Dictatorship ?? – Trinidad and Tobago 2012


Aranguez – May 2010

As hard as it is to believe, the following is based on actual events that took place in the former Democratic Country of Trinidad and Tobago over the last few days.

“Attack the press and the people with full force” shouted the Trinidad and Tobago Cabal (formerly known as the Government) as they saw the treasury and iPads slipping from their grips. It was just two years ago they hoodwinked the population into casting their votes for a dictatorship disguised as a democratic party and were hoping that the nation kept behaving like sheep and goats. But as good luck would have it, the plot to free their treasury-plundering leaders from a life in jail, without the benefit of any access to extra-slippery butt cream, was exposed by the soon-to-be-strangled press of the land.

This one cataclysmic event, along with the nightmares of deeds of the Last Party in Power, jolted the country out of slumber and the usual sheep and goat behavior of the nation was transformed almost overnight to the behavior of wolves. The Cabal, on seeing this transformation, grew angry and flew into a blinding rage because they knew that jail is no place for butt-hole party leaders. “How dare they expose us” shouted the King, and the Queen and the Chief Corrupt Lawyer of the Cabal. “Don’t they know who is boss.” So, both in fury and desperation, every woman and Jack in the cabal asked all their minions who were given, getting, or about to get party favors, to come out and support the Dictatorship at a free brain-numbing event to show the protesting nation how mindless mass support can make a hugely unforgivable wrong, alright.

Aranguez – May 2010

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Why I should not be fired by AG Ram


Despite previous public perception, I am the Attorney General who knows nutting about criminal law. Now under this maladministration we had a Minister of Justice who knew quite a bit about criminals so that is why the PM fire he ass. I see no reason to resign because I was so ignorant about criminal law it ain’t funny. I couldn’t even tell the difference between a purse snatcher and a white collar criminal. In fact, when Section 34 went before cabinet I fly away fast, fast because whether I was there or in Alaska, it wouldn’t ah make ah damn difference and I think the PM was fully cognisant of this. However it should be noted that only last night I ordered two books from Amazon Bargain Books section, Criminal Law for Dummies and The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Criminal Law. With this new found knowledge I will now be able to advise Cabinet properly and at a level they can understand. I am surprised people are calling for my head and I only assume it is because I have fat cheeks. And, no, stupidity is never a reason to be dismissed from cabinet because if that was the case the cabinet of this country will be nearly empty all the time.

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PSY – GANGNAM STYLE (강남스타일) M/V


Pronounce : O Pan Gang Nam Style
Translation : I (have my own style.. It’s) Gangnam style

PSY

Gangnam Style  is a viral video turned viral dance and now officially the most popular YouTube video ever with over  294,763,576 views and climbing. Gangnam Style is sung by South Korean sensation  and rapper, PSY.  Gangnam Style is also currently #1 on iTunes and Amazon. South Korea, a peaceful and productive country with a hostile neighbor and 46% of the population having no religion, has now added PSY to the string of successes which include Samsung, Hyundai, LG, Kia and Seoul food.

“Gangnam” means “south(nam) of the river(gang)” in Korean. “Gangnam” is being regarded as the place where people are rich, girls are pretty and everything is supposed to be cool. ~www.urbandictionary.com

Original      : 오빤 강남스타일
Pronounce : O Pan Gang Nam Style
Translation : I (have my own style.. It’s) Gangnam style

Pretty South Korean Girl – Gangnam Style

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Dear Kamla – There is no Silver Lining on this Dark Cloud


Dear Kamla,

After your speech last night, I can say you are now in the same league as Patrick Manning – incompetent beyond words. It is either incompetent or part of the conspiracy plot but believe me, incompetent is the better choice.

It seems you were the last person in Trinidad and Tobago to realize that Mr. Hubert could not be trusted around the laws of the country. What does that say for your other choices of members of your cabinet? Is Mr. Hubert the only one who can not be trusted? Your judgment apparently leaves a lot to be desired and I now truly believe that we will have many more disgraceful and unpatriotic lies and schemes which you and your cabinet are planning to “unintentionally” unleash onto the public.

If there really was a new level of accountability from the Government when the People’s Partnership replaced the PNM you would have also fired Mr. Anand and throw in Jack for good measure simply because they were telling the population “move on, nothing to see here.” Really, nothing to see here!  Maybe you should have also resigned in order to show the population what good governance really looks like.  Your speech last night does not signal the end but the beginning of the end for your party. It’s so sad it had to come to this.

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Trinidad and Tobago’s Latest Law Hole


It is rumored that self-proclaimed law experts, Anand and Hubert, will not be getting their complimentary iPads from Parliament as punishment for sneakily making a hole in a brand new law through which two of the country’s most popular accused criminals, Ish and Steve, had planned to escape.  It is also rumored that Hubert has already protested this latest atrocity saying he will get a medical certificate stating his heart was set on an iPad 2 while Anand bawled out how he needed not one, but two tablets for his latest headache.  If these rumors are true then the legal duo will have to continue to tote millions of dollars worth of paper in an out of Parliament while their colleagues pretend their tablets are on.

When the news to this latest Government-approved law hole was highlighted by the press, the public and Government officials feigned surprise and horror with some true supporters wondering why the Government was taking so long to pay their pipers.

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