Archive by Author | aka_lol

Jack will be History in the Future


jack-goneOur local history textbooks of the very distant future will say how Jack Warner was a somewhat good man but misunderstood by tens of millions worldwide, including Andrew Jennings, Camini Marajh and a several investigators. Jack would be compared to Robin Hood even though he never shot an arrow or stole from any one person. He would be portrayed in some books as an urban legend, a mythical figure who the skeptical skeptics would say, despite photographs, political speeches and audit reports, never existed. Such kindness and cunning could never lie in the heart of the same man, they would say. The books will present scores of photos showing Jack handing over cheque after cheque to delighted people who worshiped him as a God with money.

History will say he was a man known for his willingness to build box drains for the poor and downtrodden. The books will acknowledge that despite his many flaws and law suits, he would eternally be known for his ability to listen to the problems of the frustrated on a weekly basis and act appropriately, unlike the other Members of Parliament who rose to legendary dignitary status after winning an election. Jack Warner will be known as a man who did some right but no wrong locally.

Like all urban legends, Jack will linger on minds of both the mindful and mindless. His parting would be seen to be an aborted reentry by his friends and backstabbers alike since the Prime Minister could no longer fake ignorance of one man’s deeds twice in one term.

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Mark My Word…


mark-my-word

An interview with Mr. Warner which never happened:

Reporter: Mr. Warner, will you now be resigning from Cabinet?

Mr. Warner: Resign! Resign? Based on what? Some foolish report that ain’t even worth the paper it was written on. Resign! Yuh mad or what. Any Tom, Dick and David could produce a report and all yuh tripping all over alluh self with it. I tell you, I never hear so much foolishness in all my life. All yuh gullible  yes. Anybody see me thief any money? All yuh have it on CCTV? No, but all yuh saying Jack thief this and Jack thief dat. Mark my word, one day the truth will come out and it wouldn’t be nice. Mark my Word! Everybody after Jack. What it is I do all yuh so. Anybody see me thief ah property? Dey have it on YouTube? Nobody see me tief ah dam thing but all yuh saying I is a smart man. Not one single solitary soul see me thief but dey saying I must resign. Dey go have to goe before me. Mark my word. I never hear anything so foolish in any country before. If is mih back all yuh want to see ah goe take off mih shirt yuh knoe. Look, I have nothing more to say only to say one day the truth will come out and it wouldn’t be nice, Mark my word.  Ah gone, ah have to take care of the crime in de country. Laterz!

UPDATE: Jack Warner has finally resigned from cabinet. I wonder if any other resignations by JW are in store?

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Carib and Stag – More Than Just Girls


More than just beer

More than just beer

Despite beer being brewed to perfection in Trinidad and Tobago at Carib Brewery in Champs Fleurs for decades, it only becomes real beer when served at the right temperature with peppered channa and that essential ingredient called our near perfect women. Some say if the Carib and Stag girls were discontinued, men would stop drinking beer and turn to meditation.

For countless years tourism, and in a few cases, a tourist, has taken a beating in Trinidad and Tobago. Because of poor marketing, poor work ethics, and career criminals we are constantly in treadmill mode in our attempts to woo visitors to our version of paradise. To get tourists to come to Trinidad and Tobago we would have to change our international image by highlighting our efficient policing efforts, preserve old buildings, ensure poison-free rivers and beaches, keep cobeauxs and crayfish alive and of course, highlight our diversely beautiful women using beer and blogs.

Like Crix, doubles, and commissions of inquiries, Carib and Stag have become true icons of our country but Carib and Stag have leaped to the head of the line with their marketing girls. There probably is a high turnover of these girls as shelf life can be short but the effect remains constant despite frequent changes.

The pictures that appeared on this blog were taken from the Carib Brewery website and Facebook pages.

http://www.caribbrewery.com/

http://www.facebook.com/caribbeer

http://www.facebook.com/stagamansbeer

Two facts about Carib and Stag in Trinidad and Tobago:

  • On May 16th 1950 Carib beer was first brewed
  • On Carnival Friday 1973 Stag beer was first brewed “in a 275ml A-line amber bottle. In the following year, its packaging moved to a 6 inch, 250ml green bottle”
Stag Beer Girls

Stag Beer Girls

 

Carib Girls

Carib Girls

Carib Girls Carib Girls 2

 

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PSY – GENTLEMAN


This is the new one from PSY, ‘GENTELEMAN’

The point is not if it’s good but if it’s good enough to plaster PSY into the South Korean and  World Hall of Musical Fame. I think ‘GENTLEMAN’ is nearly as deep a song lyrically as ‘GANGAM STYLE’ and I hope the world will also find  the new PSY song as moving. For those who do not remember of tried to forget ‘GANGAM STYLE’ was the song that caused nearly everybody, especially North Koreans, to admit that the world is not as serious as it looks.

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Bad Food Country


Clever Packaging of Fast Food

Clever Packaging of Fast Food

Trinidad and Tobago is a frustrating country to live in not only because the police service can be selectively incompetent so as to intentionally start unrest but the population gets constant mixed signals from the authorities. On one hand foreign fast food franchises are government-encouraged and causing traffic all over the place while on the other the Minister of Health accuses citizens of being too fat and unhealthy from fast foods thus becoming a drain on the treasury. Not a big drain as kickbacks paid over the years to politicians and their friends but a drain on the public purse by the public is always looked upon with the highest disgust by holders of high office.

Hot cross bun

Hot cross bun

Yes, we as a country need food and jobs but it seems we are doing this at the expense of our health and foreign exchange. We are a bad food society and the lines of people buying fried food and chips at locations nationwide will always vastly outnumber the amount of people lining up to greet any former political hero on his or her way to buy something down town. I can sympathize with the Minister of Health’s frustration  as citizens always complain about the level of health care available while lounging on a couch, enjoying KFC and a massive Pepsi backed up with a current roll without raisins.

Beer

Beer

Despite high taxes on cigarettes and alcohol, these companies are immensely profitable due to the addictive nature of their products and the foolish people who buy them. It is no different with fried food with salt. High taxes are never a deterrent with addictions and taxing bad food to pay for dialysis seems as foolish as giving crooks access to the treasury and depending on integrity laws to keep them honest.

We need to take our lives in our own hands and fight the attraction of these toxic substances being sold  for high profit and packed in cleverly designed fast food boxes and brown paper bags.  Saying no to bad food will benefit the economy and the happiness index of the country. The turning of our collective backs on bad foods will start a good food revolution and also force doctors into more productive and humanitarian professions such as farming and engineering.  It will be a win win situation. 

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Drones to fight Crime in Trinidad and Tobago


droneThe Government is planning to use mini-drone choppers in its latest attempt loose the fight against crime but win another term in office. The mini-drones will be outfitted with the latest spy equipment that can see through heavily draped windows and women, closed and bolted doors, hollow clay and concrete blocks plastered on both sides as well as politicians regardless of party. Apart from the latest spy equipment with current firmware, the drones will come with the usual annihilation equipment and MP3 players with ear buds. It is said that the drones will be controlled by an independent committee made up of ten citizens chosen by another independent committee selected by the President after consultation with the Prime Minister and  God. The Committee will be chosen from a wide cross section of the population and will include no more than one doubles vendor, one community leader and one atheist.  A two thirds majority – 6.667 people – will be required to activate the annihilation equipment where the target looks funny or is a gold-color Nissan. The drones will be capable of streaming live video via the social media and have its own Facebook page.

The Committee, like some politicians, church builders building churches from kick-back money, former head of State agencies and billionaire crooks, will be exempted from prosecution for any crime committed thus the Drone Committee will not have to worry about taking out the wrong man or car. Crime is expected to take a nose dive once the drones take to the air and start buzzing over crime hotspots and political meetings held behind closed doors. As is customary in this country, a kick-back will be paid to the politician or politicians who put the things in place for this latest crime fighting initiative to happen. As is also customary, offshore bank accounts will be set up as necessary.

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A Blackout under the Moonlight in Trinidad and Tobago


blackoutThe Easter Blackout of 2013 will go down in Trinidad and Tobago’s history as the most exciting thing to happen to this country since the attempted coup of 1990. It is rumored that this 8, 10, 12 hour electricity blackout was accidental and in no way the work of a defeated and humiliated but powerful and highly moral union or the disgruntled and eager-for-power opposition.

The massive outage happened some minutes after midnight on the start of the long Easter weekend and seemed more than a coincidence at first. With the aid of cell phones connected to the social media via cell sites running on backup batteries and the mauvais lang nature of Trinis, the extent of the outage was propagated among the population in a short time. Not only was the extent of the outage and what might have caused it known instantly but who meat was spoiling and how much mosquitoes was attacking who and where.

It was during this blackout that people had time to reflect on something other than Jack Warner and realize how dependent on electricity and Protox we have become. It was however very unfortunate that few realized how much nicer the country looked under the moonlight as compared to the pollution of street lights. This incident showed how easy it probably still is to shut the country down and that storming a Parliament full of idiots by another set of idiots will do very little to terrify the nation again. All that is needed is one false alarm from a gas plant and away we go.

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Afra Raymond: Three myths about corruption – Trinidad and Tobago


24 billion TT$ in Clico so far and no accountability

1.6 billion TT$ spent on Piarco Airport and 1 billion traced to offshore banks

Machel Montano – The Fog – the Official Music Video


Dust di place
Dust di place
This one goin’ an’
Dust di place

This one goin’ an’ fog up de place

Dust di place
This one goin’ an’
Dust di place
This one goin’ an’
Dust di place

Leweee go ha

I’m winin’ up in de session aye
I’m gettin’ on like I neva
Jam a bumpa yet
But I’m in deep concentration oh
And every eye on me so
Iz now the stage done set

For the dust to rise whoa oh
Powder in your eye
Now we come to life whoa oh
We dustin’ dem from aside

Gyal dem peltin waist
Powder in your face
Foggin’ up the place

In the uptown session
Well we havin’ a nice time
From one fete to the next one
Well you know that is my style

And when I reach downtown
With this thunder now
Touchdown, I want to jump around
And all the gyal dem bound to
Go down, go down
Now everybody surround

That’s why I love powder
Everybody fete’n is powder
Everybody gettin’ it powder
Everybody catchin’ it powder
This is how we celebrate
And you cannot get away
Powder!

I losin’ all me complexion
I givin’ them performance
They never see that yet
And I’ze a man on a mission oh
The more they run from me well
The more crazy I get

So now the dust will rise, whoa powder in your eye
Now we come to life, whoa we dustin them from aside
Girl dem peltin waist
Powder in your face
Foggin’ up the place

In the uptown session
Well we havin’ a nice time
From one fete to the next one
Well you know that is my style

And when I reach downtown
With this thunder now
Touchdown, I want to jump around
And all the gyal dem bound to
Go down, go down
Now everybody surround

That’s why I love powder
Everybody fete’n is powder
Everybody gettin’ it powder
Everybody catchin’ it powder
This is how we celebrate
And you cannot get away
Powder!

This one goin’ an’ fog up de place
If you afraid then come out we face

This one goin’ an’ fog up de place
If you afraid then come out we face

This one goin’ an’ fog up de place
If you afraid then come out we face

This one goin’ an’ fog up de place
If you afraid then come out we face

We come out to play mas
And we do fraid powder
Say we come out to play mas
And we do fraid powder

Tell them that we come out to play mas
And we do fraid powder
Tell them that we come out to play mas
And we do fraid 
Everybody gettin’ it!

In the uptown session
Well we havin’ a nice time
From one fete to the next one
Well you know that is my style

And when I reach downtown
With this thunder now
Touchdown, I want to jump around
And all the gyal dem bound to
Go down, go down
Now everybody surround

That’s why I love powder
Everybody fete’n is powder
Everybody gettin’ it powder
Everybody catchin’ it powder
This is how we celebrate
And you cannot get away
Powder!

That’s why I love powder
Everybody fete’n is powder
Everybody gettin’ it powder
Everybody catchin’ it powder
This is how we celebrate
And you cannot get away
Powder!

Banana Shortage threatens Trinidad Carnival 2013


The almost-perfect foreign bananas

The almost-perfect foreign bananas

There is a shortage of bananas in the country and it couldn’t happen at a worse time than one week before Carnival when thousands of women use the banana as their weapon of choice in that epic and seasonal battle with their bikini costumes. One woman claimed the only bananas she was able to put her hands on in recent time were quite soft and local. Over the years she had come to expect the consistently firmer ones from the islands and that they stayed harder longer. Several women claim the foreign bananas were considerably straighter than the local ones and looked more appealing as they were nearly unblemished when removed from the box. However, the woman said that foreign bananas were all the same, and too much quality control can make life boring. With the local bananas, you never quite know what to expect and on the rare occasion you are pleasantly surprised,” she was quoted as saying.

Bruised and banged up local bananas - some are almost as crooked as local politicians

Bruised and banged up local bananas – some are almost as crooked as local politicians

Corruption Continues to Flourish in Trinidad and Tobago with the Help of Government


skeletonDear Kamla and Anand,

I am now more than a bit concerned that corruption from the Manning era is flourishing under your watch. Despite all your ranting about setting up an Anti-corruption Commission, I have heard nothing about this essential service.   I don’t know if such a Commission exist since a Google search shows that it was last mentioned early in 2011. I blogged about such a measure in January 2011, full of hope that finally a Government in power will do something about the corruption infestation that is still plaguing our land.

What has happened since this People’s Partnership was elected is that senior government ministers are now partying with the obviously-corrupt public officials and some suspected big drug men and money launders are courting and liming with the opposition. By now, despite rants form politicians on both sides, the population knows that Section 34 was no accident and it was one of the few things that the Government, Opposition and other higher powers agreed on for the good of the “better people” of our land. Our marketed-as-fearless Prime Minister said back in January 2011  “If it is that a man works for $1,000 but he is driving a million-dollar BMW, then where did that money come from?” What I want to add is “Where did some of the directors of various Ministries get money to build their $10,000,000 dollar second homes in Trinidad, and buy new Prados and BMWs.” These homes are places where some self-righteous Government Ministers party with dubious characters (public servants) who might well be sponsoring the Government.

Much of the population is feeling betrayed by the Government and Opposition as people are realizing the depth of corruption and money laundering in this country. Both political parties seem to have a hand in allowing these activities to flourish as these political parties and party officials benefit immensely from dirty money. These parties are unpatriotic and their main goal is to ride the backs of voters so that they can protect the Mr. Bigs of our country. What lies beneath our political parties stinks even more than what we see on the surface and what we see on the surface is rotten beyond belief.

A Betrayed Voter

akalol

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Life of Pi Coming Soon to a Big then small screen


After many false starts, Life of Pi, the bestseller by Yann Martel  which sold over seven million copies,was finally made into a movie. It is due to open at Movietowne on 28th November 2012. I am a big fan of the novel and will make every effort to see it on the big screen before Movietowne moves it to the tiny screens at the back of the cinema and charge the same price.

For those who don’t remember or never read the book, “Pi” is short for the main character in the novel, Piscine Molitor Patel. The other main character  is Richard Parker, a Bengal tiger.

The movie is directed by Ang Lee and not M. Night Shyamalan. Life of Pi also stars many.

From the publisher:

The son of a zookeeper, Pi Patel has an encyclopedic knowledge of animal behavior and a fervent love of stories. When Pi is sixteen, his family emigrates from India to North America aboard a Japanese cargo ship, along with their zoo animals bound for new homes.

The ship sinks. Pi finds himself alone in a lifeboat, his only companions a hyena, an orangutan, a wounded zebra, and Richard Parker, a 450-pound Bengal tiger. Soon the tiger has dispatched all but Pi, whose fear, knowledge, and cunning allow him to coexist with Richard Parker for 227 days while lost at sea. When they finally reach the coast of Mexico, Richard Parker flees to the jungle, never to be seen again. The Japanese authorities who interrogate Pi refuse to believe his story and press him to tell them “the truth.” After hours of coercion, Pi tells a second story, a story much less fantastical, much more conventional–but is it more true? 

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Miss Trinidad & Tobago 2012 Universe – Avionne Mark


Miss Universe Trinidad & Tobago 2012 - Avionne Mark

Miss Universe Trinidad & Tobago 2012 – Avionne Mark

I didn’t see the Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe show last Sunday and I do find nearly all the girls attractive and hard to judge from web photos alone. This is only made worse by a frustratingly low-definition broadcast from TV6.  What matters in the end though is how contestants are able to sway the minds of judges on the night with a lot of walk and a little talk. In the photo above, photographer Gary Jordan is able to show his amazing ability and beauty of Avionne Mark, the winner of Miss  Trinidad & Tobago 2012 Universe. She already has the Cover Girl effect.

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iPad Mini – 7-inches of Heaven


iPad Mini

iPad Mini

I will not be needing or even wanting any of the new iPads as I already have a 4th Generation iPod touch which makes me happy and I am quite contented with my current level of happiness. If however you are one of the unhappy ones or happy but need more happiness because you are addicted to new pleasures and boosting the economy then a new iPad may be for you.

If Apple is aiming the iPad Mini at women then Apple will have to convince females the new tablet, despite being a battery-powered device that is around seven inches long and thin as a pencil, is not only a bargain at US$329 but smarter and less trouble than the average man.

iPad Mini

iPad Mini

iPad Specs

iPad Specs

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