There are three intolerable things in life – cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women.
Posted by aka_lol on January 13, 2012 in humor, trinidad and tobago
Tags: Academy Award, champagne, Citizen Kane, cold coffee, humor, Orson Welles, quote, women
aka_lol is not my real name and it isn't even a name. I am a male, self-taught blogger with aspirations to become better over time and with counseling.
aka_lol was born in Trinidad and Tobago and blogs from the island of Trinidad. He is a friendly blogger with no blog-purpose other than self-amusement and immortality.
aka_lol's hobbies are photography, writing wrong things, reading good books, trans-Atlantic swimming, and meteor dodging.
aka_lol is an engineer by profession and by choice. As hard as it is right now, aka_lol supports the West Indies Cricket team.
Aka always says: "My creed is this: Happiness is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to help make others so" ~Charles J. Ingersoll~
Without condoms and common sense we don’t stand a chance ~ aka_lol
It can be said that sexiness is what celebrities start with and a book deal is what they end up as ~aka_lol
The Queen is Coming, No More Flooding!! ~aka_lol
We are more entertained by Commissions of Enquiries than troubled by them ~aka_lol
...stupid people need to be restrained before the country slips into that septic tank of no return ~ aka_lol
We are a population that wants to stop fighting with our elected Government and selected President and start worrying about how much of the Heritage Fund will be used for conferences and bribes ~aka_lol
A sex tape is now like a cell phone, everybody has one and some even have one with each service provider ~ aka_lol
Small minds victimize a lot ~ aka_lol
There is only one thing which a man can stick his finger in that feels better than sticking it in election ink on Election Day ~ aka_lol
What ever the truth is, a Kindle price should always be lower than the hardcover price because that is what Kindle buyers have come to expect and enjoy ~aka_lol
"We ordering pork for those who don’t eat beef." I said. That was when the screaming started ~aka_lol~
Governments like to claim they are transparent but like some underwear, never transparent enough to please the man in the street ~aka_lol~
Governments govern people therefore people must govern governments ~aka_lol~
...the Bandits Association have nothing against people making an honest dollar since it was the honest dollar from the man in the street that keeps their members happy and well fed ~aka_lol
An engineer is someone who washes his hands before going to the toilet. - Anonymous-
There are three possible roads to ruin - women, gambling and technology. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technology. - Georges Pompidou -
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. - Howard Aiken, IBM engineer -
My creed is this: Happiness is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to help make others so.
~Charles J. Ingersoll~
There is no need for us to gather every day, or every seven days, or on any high and auspicious day, to proclaim our rectitude or to grovel and wallow in our unworthiness. We atheists do not require any priests, or any hierarchy above them, to police our doctrine.
~Christopher Hitchens~
Babies die in ditches every day, yet God helps Hollywood stars win trophies ~ Catherine Deveny
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office
~ Covert Bailey~
Many of us saw religion as harmless nonsense. Beliefs might lack all supporting evidence but, we thought, if people needed a crutch for consolation, where's the harm? September 11th changed all that.
~Richard Dawkins~
Religion is ultimately dependent on belief in invisible beings, inaudible voices, intangible entities, undetectable forces, and events and judgements that happen after we die. It therefore has no reality check and it is therefore uniquely armored against criticism, questioning, and self-correction ~Greta Christina
I believe in the religion of reason - the gospel of this world; in the development of the mind, in the accumulation of intellectual wealth, to the end that man may free himself from superstitious fear, to the end that he may take advantage of the forces of nature to feed and clothe the world.
~Robert G. Ingersoll
Religion has nothing to do with morality, and is all about power fueled by superstition ~ Anonymous
The pleasure of hating, like a poisonous mineral, eats into the heart of religion, and turns it to rankling spleen and bigotry; it makes patriotism an excuse for carrying fire, pestilence, and famine into other lands: it leaves to virtue nothing but the spirit of censoriousness, and a narrow, jealous, inquisitorial watchfulness over the actions and motives of others. What have the different sects, creeds, doctrines in religion been but so many pretexts set up for men to wrangle, to quarrel, to tear one another in pieces about, like a target as a mark to shoot at?
~ William Hazlit – On the Pleasure of Hating
We have tried for over a thousand years, as a species, teaching people that killing people and holding others below yourself, and being indifferent to the suffering of others was wrong because God said so. I think we can firmly conclude that that strategy was a dismal failure. Instead, the zeal created by religious conviction has led people to hurt others in the name of God.
~ M. LeBlanc
If proselytisers had genuine faith they would at least tone down the proselytism. Surely the God they believe in has the power, hypothetically speaking, to move the hearts of unbelievers without their having to be argued, bribed, or bludgeoned into doctrinal submission first.
~ Barbara O'Brien
Inspired by the Pope's recent call to remember our country's Christian roots I was wondering which particular roots we should return to. Burning Protestants or hanging Roman Catholic priests? Requiring Dissenters to live 10 miles from the City of London, or Roman Catholics 5 miles? And if we decide to execute the Archbishop of Canterbury should we burn him like Cranmer or behead him like Laud?
~ Mark Francis
Coming out as an atheist can have serious real-world consequences. Parents get denied custody of their children for being atheists. People get harassed and vandalized by their neighbors for being atheists. Teachers get suspended for being atheists. Teenagers get harassed and suspended from school for being atheists. Politicians whip up anti-atheist fear to try to get elected. (And that’s just in the US. I’m not even talking about parts of the world where atheism is a crime, punishable by imprisonment or death.)
~ Greta Christina
Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning
~ Bill Gates
Morality is not the monopoly of any faith: an atheist can be more ethical than a religious person. At the end of the day, what matters is that humans behave with consideration and decency, and avoid imposing their beliefs on others
~ Irfan Husain
The greatest intellectual framework that the human intellect has ever generated is the scientific method. On so many levels, it has freed us from the shackles of barbaric, divisive, and infantile superstition. Yet, all presidential candidates parade their faiths as though it were a virtue to believe in virgin births, burning bushes, and flying horses.
~Gad Saad
I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.
~Susan B. Anthony~
No opinion should be protected from criticism simply by virtue of being religiously held.
~Richard Dawkins~
A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.
~Bertrand Russell~
The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
~Douglas Adams~
The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it.
~Mark Twain~
One can appreciate and treasure the symmetry and grandeur of the ancient Greek Parthenon without needing any share in the cults of Athena or Eleusis, or the imperatives of Athenian imperialism, just as one may listen to Mozart or admire Chartres and Durham without any nostalgia for feudalism, monarchism, and the sale of indulgences.
~Christopher Hitchens~
The president of the United States has claimed, on more than one occasion, to be in dialogue with God. If he said that he was talking to God through his hairdryer, this would precipitate a national emergency. I fail to see how the addition of a hairdryer makes the claim more ridiculous or offensive.
~Sam Harris~
We live, after all, in a world where illusions are sacred and truth profane.
~Tariq Ali
In fact, "atheism" is a term that should not even exist. No one ever needs to identify himself as a "non-astrologer" or a "non-alchemist." We do not have words for people who doubt that Elvis is still alive or that aliens have traversed the galaxy only to molest ranchers and their cattle. Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make in the presence of unjustified religious beliefs.
~Sam Harris~
It is taboo in our society to criticize a persons religious faith... these taboos are offensive, deeply unreasonable, but worse than that, they are getting people killed. This is really my concern. My concern is that our religions, the diversity of our religious doctrines, is going to get us killed. I'm worried that our religious discourse- our religious beliefs are ultimately incompatible with civilization.
~Sam Harris~
The first step is to measure whatever can be easily measured. This is O.K. as far as it goes. The second step is to disregard that which can’t be measured or give it an arbitrary quantitative value. This is artificial and misleading. The third step is to presume that what can’t be measured easily isn’t very important. This is blindness. The fourth step is to say that what can’t easily be measured doesn’t really exist. This is suicide.
~Daniel Yankelovich
The universe is 13.7 billion years old, the Earth 4.6 billion. A mere 2,000 years ago, at a time of great ignorance and superstition, some Middle Eastern men wrote some books. With respect, does it never strike you as absurd to use them as proof of a benevolent and watchful God?
~Anon~
A truly liberal society guarantees the freedom of all religions, but it accepts the tyranny of none. People must be free to live without threat or fear. To say the things, write the words and live the lives they choose. Does that offend some people? Yes, of course. But the price of freedom is the risk of offence. And, for me, that price is always worth paying.
~Ming Campbell~
Religions are, by definition, metaphors after all: God is a dream, a hope, a woman, an ironist, a father, a city, a house of many rooms, a watchmaker who left his prize chronometer in the desert, someone who loves you - even, perhaps, against all evidence, a celestial being whose only interest is to make sure your football team, army, business, or marriage thrives, prospers and triumphs over all opposition.
~Neil Gaiman~
When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!
~George Carlin~
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company
~Mark Twain~
O Lord our God, help us tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with their little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it...
~Mark Twain~
Militant Christians bomb abortion clinics. Militant Muslims fly planes into skyscrapers. Militant Atheists write strongly worded comment pieces? So let's stop this 'militant' nonsense shall we?
~Anon~
Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
~Alfred Hitchcock~
Since we are often told that god is ineffable and that it is impossible to know his mind it is quite astonishing the number of people that then proceed to tell you exactly what he thinks.
~Anon~
If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.
~Bertrand Russell~
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.
~Dan Rather~
There's an infinite number of things that some people at one time or another have believed in, and an infinite number of things that nobody has believed in. If there's not the slightest reason to believe in any of those things, why bother? The onus is on somebody who says, I want to believe in God, Flying Spaghetti Monster, fairies, or whatever it is. It is not up to us to disprove it.
~Richard Dawkins~
Religion attacks us in our deepest integrity by saying we wouldn't be able to make a moral decision without it, and that a supernatural dictatorship is our only hope. That makes us all into serfs.
~Christopher Hitchens~
Thinkers of the Enlightenment, a set of new intellectual attitudes that remade Western culture in the 17th and 18th centuries, set out to understand the world and themselves through reason rather than religion. Their ideas led to massive advances in science, economics and commerce, the arts and human liberty, which underpin our present prosperity and social freedoms.
~Ayaan Hirsi Ali~
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
~Bill Vaughan~
The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting.
~Charles Bukowski~
The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear.
~Herbert Agar~
When evidence conflicts with cherished beliefs, most people are happier to explain away even the most compelling data rather than abandon their beliefs.
~Richard Wiseman~
If morality comes from religion, why is it normal for chimpanzees, all tribal peoples and non-believers to feel empathy for others, to practice fairness, and to remain loyal to relatives and friends?
~Anthony Layng~
A strongly held belief does not automatically deserve respect ~ConversationalAtheist.com~
A reluctance to accept the importance of reason is easy to explain. To ignore reason is to avoid a sense of personal responsibility, which makes it easy to explain everything that you see in terms of the tenets of your 'faith', be it religious, political or economic in origin.
~Robert Hall~
Religious fundamentalisms are not only found in every region and religion, but they are also becoming increasingly visible at the international level in, for example, the international human rights system.
~Cassandra Balchin~
I am as firmly convinced that religions do harm as I am that they are untrue.
~Bertrand Russell~
Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone.
~John Maynard Keynes~
My creed is this: Happiness is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to help make others so.
~Charles J. Ingersoll~
History: An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
~Ambrose Bierce~
Blasphemy is an epithet bestowed by superstition upon common sense.
~Robert G. Ingersoll!
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ldsrr91
January 14, 2012 at 7:32 am
You can microwave coffee.
Rechill the wine
That last one, well, I have never come across that problem.
DS
aka_lol
January 14, 2012 at 5:34 pm
It appears Orson Welles had that problem but not sure why.