Archive | January 10, 2009

The Summits of Trinidad and Tobago


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Citizens of The Island were excited as The Great Summits approached. Thought the economy of The Island was in a tailspin and pensioners were being shortchanged, no expense was being spared to give the World Leaders the impression the Island had money to burn. All the major energy and biscuit industries on The Island were either at a standstill or shutting up shop but the Great Rulers of The Island said to the people, don’t worry be happy, we strong, we strong, a sentiment that comforted some people and all ostriches.

police-and-thiefThe Island was being  spruced up for The Great Summits so that the foreign press would get the wrong impression. Though the price of oil and gas was at an all-time low and the murder rate was at an all-time high the Grand Leader of The Island said The Island had much to boast about. The Island indeed had much to boast about and it boasted a high crime rate, unbearable traffic, and unbelievable floods. The Island also boasted countless pig-mannered drivers and frustration with all Government services. But The Island’s biggest boasts were having a Minister of Works who was never wrong, a Minister of Finance who was never right, and a Prime Minister who healed in a time that was nothing short of disappointingly miraculous. Though the country had its problems with no solution in sight like how to pay for the Great Stadium down South, no water in the pipelines, and masses of illiterate school children, the people were happy and that is why they drank and sped and bought the latest burglarproofing for their houses.

cepep1Despite the ill-advised negativity by some over The Great Summits most of the people on The Island were eagerly awaiting it and made plans to show off their skills and talents. Some said they would play pan and tassa while others said they would sing Soca, Calypso and Chutney. Nobody said they could read music. Others were planning to wine down de place to Chutney and Soca rhythms along with those foreign journalists who can’t even keep a beat. Some citizens said they would show off the more technologically advanced side of the country which amounted to tire burning, mud shoveling, and the world-famous CEPEP Missile Shield TM. One Government Minister had planned to show off his Mega Cucumber while The Car Thieving and Corrupt Licensing Officers Association planned to put on a demonstration highlighting how fast a car can be stolen from the Mall then reregistered and sent back on the road with a new owner. The Police and Thief Association planned to demonstrate how The Police took bribes from The Thief and some Police Officers even planned to raid housesignalss without search warrants while The CoP planned to say and do nothing in approval. The Coast Guard intended only to show how to weigh the drugs seized in raids. Some motorists were eager to show why amber is just another color and why shoulders are more than something to cry on. The PM, never to be outdone, planned to measure the height of every building in the Capital with an aluminum tape made in China.

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