Archive | December 2008

Sex Without the Fireworks and Other Top Stories of 2008


Sex can cost you your fireworks

Sex can cost you your fireworks

The Year 2008 in Review and in no particular order

  • Barack Hussein Obama II, a black man from Hawaii, managed to convincingly win the US Presidential elections making the world a more hopeful place.
  • The world slipped into a financial crisis with major Governments offering to bail out cash strapped banks with money borrowed from banks.
  • The Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago finally admitted there was a world financial crisis and he would no longer be eyeing that private jet he tried to hoodwink the population into buying. Instead, the PM said, he would continue to not eat chicken. He also asked the population to tighten their proverbial belts so that the scarce foreign exchanged could be used to pay the contractors proverbially working on the Toruba stadium.
  • India overtook Japan in having the most billionaires in Asia and remains number one in Bollywood movies.
  • Lakshmi Mittal, the Indian steel magnate, professional billionaire and owner of ArcelorMittal in Trinidad had his wealth of US$40.3 billion drop to about US$16.4 billion because of the financial crisis  leaving him very grumpy.
  • Anurag Dikshit, (pronounced Dikshit) the Indian designer of the web gambling software PartyPoker saw his worth drop from US$1.6 billion to $1 billion without even throwing any dice.
  • Bernard Madoff (pronounced Made Off), an American businessman and former chairman of the NASDAQ stock market was accused of making off with US$50 billion in other people’s money. In apparent retaliation, someone made off with a $10,000 statue from Madoff’s Florida estate. Madoff was said to be quite upset to be a victim of theft.
  • The murder rate in Trinidad and Tobago jumped to about 545 murders causing the Government to pump more money into the murder industry. The Government hopes these figures improve in 2009 as it did in 2008.
  • The Dark Knight threatened to sink the Titanic and become the most successful movie of all time.
  • An Iraqi journalist pelted two shoes, one at a time, at President George W. Bush but missed on both attempts. The Iraqi police are trying to determine the shoe size but the US insist size doesn’t matter.
  • Hundreds of women in Naples, Italy threatened to withhold sex from their men if the men don’t desist from lighting fireworks on Old Years Night. One of the Nepalese men was quoted as saying “Yeah, big deal, like we would notice.”
  • This Beach Called Life received 74,046 visits. The Breakdown of the top post for the year can be seen here. Click here.
  • mayarobeach.com received 172,066 visits with 1,123,483 pages viewed for 2008.
  • This Beach Called Life - December Stats

    This Beach Called Life - December Stats

Seven Pounds – A Weighty Movie


Seven Pounds - More Than Just A Weight

Seven Pounds - More Than Just A Weight

Seven Pounds is probably the best movie I have seen for the year 2008. However, in keeping with this blog’s sense of warped humor coupled with great insight, I give you some brief comments. Please note there are some unintentional spoilers ahead.

  • Seven Pounds is not only the latest offering from Will Smith; it’s also the amount of weight you will put on for the Holidays.
  • Seven Pounds is the only movie which dares to show the relationship between the Blackberry and the Jellyfish.
  • Seven Pounds is a movie with such a great plot you will rush out the movie theater and tell all your friends just so you could spoil it for them.
  • Seven Pounds features such a passionate love scene between Will Smith and Rosario Dawson you can’t help wonder if she would suffer a heart attack.
  • Seven Pounds will make you cry at US$7.00 a ticket.
  • Seven Pounds is a movie that is so good it doesn’t need explosions.
  • Seven Pounds is more than a love story, it is a reason to cry.
  • Seven Pounds is the name of the movie which doesn’t explain why it’s called Seven Pounds.
  • Seven Pounds = 3.17514659 kilograms

Ben Thomas: I did something really bad once and I’m never gonna be the same!

Seven Pounds - Wallpapae

Seven Pounds - Wallpapae

The Most Beautiful Women of 2008


This video was produced by this blog on the 26th, December 2008 at around 9:00 p.m. It was done in association with boredom and it should not be considered complete. I selected only five women to include in this video since five is a manageable number for a video and possibly in life.

Some of the highlights of this video are the music from Kevin MacLeod and  two internationally known beauties from Trinidad and Tobago , Gabrielle Walcott – third place winner in  Miss World 2008 and Anya Ayoung-Chee - a  finalist in Miss Universe 2008.  Also included is Rosario Dawson – star of Seven Pounds and Freida Pinto – star of Slumdog Millionaire.  Rihanna needs no further introduction.

Recommendation:

I recommend you look at this video in High Quality Mode at YouTube

Just click on the link at the bottom of the video screen which says watch in high quality. In HQ mode the video is better and the sound is in stereo.

Merry Christmas to You and Your Turkey


Merry Christmas

Dear Lord, I’ve been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us… a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird… a social being… capable of actual affection… nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it’s dead and we’re gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family… ~ Berke Breathed

tomturkey

Why IQ Doesn’t Matter


aka wrote the the book on Idiots

aka wrote the the book on Idiots

INTRODUCTION

Dotish is the Trinidad word and adjective for stupid. It is derived from the English word dolt, which means stupid person. Dotishness is the noun.

Example: The dotish Government Minister went on TV and spoke a set of dotishness.

Because of the proliferation of stupidity throughout the world there are more words that mean a stupid person in the English language than there are for any other word. Here is a small sampling of such words:

dolt, dork, dullard, pillock, poor fish, pudden-head, pudding head, stupe, stupid, berk, blockhead, bonehead, dumbass, dunce, dunderhead, hammerhead, imbecile, knucklehead, loggerhead, lunkhead, muttonhead, numskull, shithead, klutz, simpleton, simple, idiot, fool, cretin, dimwit, dork, dumbbell, dunce, ignoramus, jerk, kook, moron, nincompoop, ninny, nitwit, dunce, ignoramus, politician.

THE BLOG

Stupidity is difficult to define but resides in all of us. Initially, scientist thought that stupidity was directly related to IQ and assumed that those of lower IQ will exhibit higher levels of stupidity. But this is not so. Scientists have now realized that all people, regardless of IQ, have a part of their brain dedicated to stupidity called the dotish lobe, which can be triggered without warning and causing those embarrassing and sometimes deadly moments.

An active dotish lobe is responsible for high incidence of intelligent men going after no-good but deadly sexy women. It is also responsible for the smart drinking and driving, and women’s inability to reverse park. The dotish lobe has been know to kick in excessively around Christmas time when hoards of people with hyperactive dotish lobes can be seen at flea markets in tropical islands buying pot holders and door mats with pictures of holly and mistletoe. These people also buy green toilet brushes to be used on December 25th and no sooner. Some people have a dotish lobe, which cannot be turned off, and those people can usually be found in Parliament.

Based on recent surveys scientist have concluded that at any point in time, one out of every two people will exhibit symptoms of a dominant dotish lobe. So, if you are standing next to the office water cooler talking to a pretty girl who seems rather smart then you will statistically become the dotish one. Fortunately there are activities that can assist those who need to control their dotish lobe and such activities consist of keeping ones mouth shut and sitting in a corner of a room facing the walls. A dominant dotish lobe has been known to cause men to say and do very dumb things and here is one recent example:

Man “Are those real?”

Woman “Oh they are, touch them.”

Man “No, I was just curious.”

Woman: “Care for a cookie then?”

Man: “No, I am filled”

I feel I am an expert in dotishness and can go on and on into the signs and symptoms of this daily occurrence that has done more to shape our lives than our IQ.

Stupidity is in the brain and can be measured

Stupidity resides in the brain and can now be measured

Show Me Your Cookie


Not all cookies can be seen

Not all cookies can be seen

Only a few years ago if you wanted cookies you would have to bake them, steal them, or buy them at the going rate. Now, however, if you want to have a more meaningful life, you would also have to enable them. Cookies have come a long way from the streets and ovens and are now on most web servers and hard drives. Cookies are powerful Internet functionality tools and have become as important to the Internet as handcuffs are to bondage fantasies. Some experts suggested that the Internet “cookie” was named “cookie” because of the Chinese Fortune Cookie which contained a simple text message. The only difference between a traditional cookie and an Internet cookie is that you can eat one but not the other.

In the Web world cookies are used by web servers and websites to track users, usually in a non-malicious way, to enhance the user-experience. Cookies can be used by websites to tell when a customer returns and that customer’s desires.  Cookies are used to keep a web voter honest by blocking repeated attempts at voting for Jennifer Aniston. Cookies are vital and some websites may not work, or not work properly if the web browser a person is using is set to reject cookies. Some social scientists suggest that men readily accept cookies but women have reluctance to cookies. In the world of the Internet there is very little difference between a Chinese cookie and a Danish cookie but  there is a big difference between the baked varieties  of these two countries and that difference is sometimes called melamine.

Jose Feliciano – Feliz Navidad – Live


The Best Christmas song ever, Feliz Navidad, was written and sung by Puerto Rican Jose Feliciano in1970. Jose Feliciano is an an accomplished guitarist and sings with a distinctive voice and style. Feliz Navidad has become a Cristmas classic and is now impossible to separate from the Christmas season.  Feliz Navidad is one of the top 25 most played and recorded Christmas songs around the world. The melody took a few day for Feliciano to write but the lyrics probably took months to finish.

Feliz Navidad – Lyrics

Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heart.

[Repeats]

Angelina Jolie vs Jennifer Aniston


Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie

It is now a favorite pastime for bloggers to compare Angelina Jolie to Jennifer Aniston and say if Brad Pitt was right to leave one for the other. I don’t think there is a right or a wrong decision in this matter though very strong arguments have been made in choosing Angelina Jolie based on her lips. I don’t think there is any documented evidence where a man has moved from one woman to another based on lips alone since other body parts, such as the brain and the breast, have been known to exert strong influences in swaying a man’s mind.  I can’t think of any reason why any of these people have occupied so much of our minds and blogs over the years other than our own lives are lacking in the excitement department. In keeping with this lack of excitement concept I have decided to offer people the opportunity to cast a vote for these two women and the results will be submitted to Mr. Pitt at a later date.

Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston

I am also including Rosario Dawson in the mix for those who can’t decide either way.

Rosario Dawson

Rosario Dawson

Gabrielle Walcott – Beauty With a Purpose


Gabrielle Walcott - The Difference Is Obvious
Gabrielle Walcott – The Difference Is Obvious

The population of Russia is 141,377,752 and the population of India is 1,027,015,247 but the population of Trinidad and Tobago is only 1,305,028.3. Not withstanding the enormous population advantage of Russia and India, Trinidad and Tobago managed to place third in the Miss World competition for 2008. To be quite honest, if you look at the photo above the average person can clearly see Miss Trinidad and Tobago, Gabrielle Walcott, is more beautiful than either Miss Russia or Miss India. I am not suggesting the judges were blind, or suffered from Big Country Syndrome but I could not understand how Miss Walcott was placed in any position but first. Fortunately all was not lost and Gabrielle Walcott was crowned Miss Beauty With a Purpose. Very well done!

Gabrielle Walcott Miss Trinidad and Tobago 2008
Gabrielle Walcott Miss Trinidad and Tobago 2008
Gabrielle Walcott - Hypnotic
Gabrielle Walcott – Hypnotic

Gabrielle Walcottgabrielle_walcott_1gabrielle_walcott_32

Gabrielle Walcott

Gabrielle Walcott - Gorgeous

Gabrielle Walcott - Simply Stunning

Gabrielle Walcott – Simply Stunning
Gabrielle Walcott
Gabrielle Walcott

This Blog voted for Miss Walcott and this Blog congratulates Miss Walcott on her tremendous accomplishments. This Blog also understands that several Big Countries will be sending their contestants to train in Trinidad and Tobago ahead of the Miss World and Miss Universe 2009 competitions due to the favorable local conditions that produce beauties. This Blog makes no further comment for now.

Know Thy Neighbor


Treasures in Garbage

Treasures in Garbage

If you want to really get to know your neighbors you would have to do more than peep out your window or stalk them; you would have to inspect their garbage. This blog would never openly advocate stalking but it certainly endorses window peeping and garbage rummaging. Ask any Private Detective and you would learn that garbage rummaging is an important part of surveillance (macoing) and is even considered more useful than The Blimp.

But garbage rummaging is not something that can be done casually and requires careful planning,  meticulous execution and a strong stomach.  The technique which I recommend and have been using with  success for years is called the “The wayward dog” technique.  The name is self-explanatory and all you have to do is to let your dog “accidentally” break free and have his way with the neighbor’s garbage. You should, obviously, not let your dog have his way with your neighbors. After the garbage is suitably spilled you would have to act surprised and quickly pick up after him using a rubber glove while wearing a despondent face. With a little luck you wouldn’t have to own a dog since your neighborhood may be plagued with stray dogs and you only have to wait for the animals’ instincts to kick in. Whichever dog-method you use you would have to pounce early since dogs can quickly eat vital clues.  Regrettably, if the garbage is well protected you would have to run a twenty by the Garbage Man.

Like garbage spilling, garbage rummaging requires a brilliant mind to interpret the mess of bottles, food and maggots. This blog does not have the time to go into detail of how to understand everything found in the neighbor’s  garbage and how to not be repulsed. What I will do is give some pointers of what thy neighbor’s garbage can say about thy neighbor.

A  rummager can easily tell if his or her neighbor is intolerant to religious pamphlets, Courts Brochures and TSTT bills. Even a novice garbage observer would be able to tell how much their neighbors booze up, medicate, obsess over oatmeal, waste stew chicken, love fruits, prefer Trojan or need KY. You may even be able to tell how much of your neighbors face is real and how much is makeup. If you are lucky you can even tell what size flat screen TV and ham they hope to impress friends with this  Season. On the odd occasion you may find treasures such as a discarded pay slip, or a receipt for a bra with the size stated. But you may already know some of these things.

The next time you see your neighbor’s garbage scattered on the road don’t think of it as an unsightly mess but as an opportunity to get to know them better. Garbage is more than waste, it is who we are and our life in a Tuffy bag.

What Was Nikon Thinking?


I saw this spoof on the pricing of the new Nikon D3X on The Online Photographer.

It might be considered as photography-humor and not for everybody but it’s still hilarious.  The question is not only what was Nikon thinking but also how much is Sony laughing.

NIkon D3X

Nikon D3X - Full Frame

Sony A900 - Full Frame

Sony A900 - Full Frame

Miss World and Me


Gabrielle Walcott and Anya Ayoung-Chee

Gabrielle Walcott and Anya Ayoung-Chee

I like shopping at the Miss World website and adding the various girls to my shopping basket but I don’t mean to make the girls seem cheap because I know they are not. Surprisingly, I am not a keen follower of beauty competitions but I do dabble on special occasions and at night. What I have noticed over the years is that modern-day contestants are not airhead in nature and most contestants now have a university degree, or enrolled for a degree the day before submitting their entry forms. Being educated and beautiful has now replaced having more than ample bosoms but it has not yet replaced the flat stomach or smooth, and freshly shaved legs. I don’t think any contestant of any reputable beauty competition ever made it to the top-10 with an education and a potbelly. A degree helps but it is hardly ever visible to the untrained eye. These ambitious contestants spend as much time with their books as with their gym instructors. Contestants, though they may be academically qualified to run the biggest corporations in the world, must still look amazing in a swimsuit. I once believed the winners of these various competitions were selected based on some hidden political agenda but if my theory was true these competitions would be meaningless and their popularity declining.

Gabrielle Walcott

Gabrielle Walcott

Trinidad and Tobago, despite the usual funding issues, managed to send a very pretty contestant to South Africa (the country and not simply the southern part of Africa, the continent) for the Miss World 2008 competition . She is  Gabrielle Walcott, a model, actress, and visual artist.  Gabrielle is no relation to Nobel Laureate Derick Walcott or even V.S. Naipaul. She is 23 year old and 170 cm long. Gabrielle likes to ride horsebacks and swim in the ocean. I am sure she is an excellent runway model and would also model for photographers with the right professional equipment. Maybe you were not registered to vote for Barack Obama, but you can register to vote for Gabrielle Walcott, this blog’s choice for Miss World 2008. You won’t regret it when she wins.

Best Christmas Movie Ever – Poll


The Grinch

The Grinch

Here is my poll for the Best Christmas Movie Ever. Not much to it really, just click and vote.

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