Archive | December 2008

Sex Without the Fireworks and Other Top Stories of 2008


Sex can cost you your fireworks

Sex can cost you your fireworks

The Year 2008 in Review and in no particular order

  • Barack Hussein Obama II, a black man from Hawaii, managed to convincingly win the US Presidential elections making the world a more hopeful place.
  • The world slipped into a financial crisis with major Governments offering to bail out cash strapped banks with money borrowed from banks.
  • The Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago finally admitted there was a world financial crisis and he would no longer be eyeing that private jet he tried to hoodwink the population into buying. Instead, the PM said, he would continue to not eat chicken. He also asked the population to tighten their proverbial belts so that the scarce foreign exchanged could be used to pay the contractors proverbially working on the Toruba stadium.
  • India overtook Japan in having the most billionaires in Asia and remains number one in Bollywood movies.
  • Lakshmi Mittal, the Indian steel magnate, professional billionaire and owner of ArcelorMittal in Trinidad had his wealth of US$40.3 billion drop to about US$16.4 billion because of the financial crisis  leaving him very grumpy.
  • Anurag Dikshit, (pronounced Dikshit) the Indian designer of the web gambling software PartyPoker saw his worth drop from US$1.6 billion to $1 billion without even throwing any dice.
  • Bernard Madoff (pronounced Made Off), an American businessman and former chairman of the NASDAQ stock market was accused of making off with US$50 billion in other people’s money. In apparent retaliation, someone made off with a $10,000 statue from Madoff’s Florida estate. Madoff was said to be quite upset to be a victim of theft.
  • The murder rate in Trinidad and Tobago jumped to about 545 murders causing the Government to pump more money into the murder industry. The Government hopes these figures improve in 2009 as it did in 2008.
  • The Dark Knight threatened to sink the Titanic and become the most successful movie of all time.
  • An Iraqi journalist pelted two shoes, one at a time, at President George W. Bush but missed on both attempts. The Iraqi police are trying to determine the shoe size but the US insist size doesn’t matter.
  • Hundreds of women in Naples, Italy threatened to withhold sex from their men if the men don’t desist from lighting fireworks on Old Years Night. One of the Nepalese men was quoted as saying “Yeah, big deal, like we would notice.”
  • This Beach Called Life received 74,046 visits. The Breakdown of the top post for the year can be seen here. Click here.
  • mayarobeach.com received 172,066 visits with 1,123,483 pages viewed for 2008.
  • This Beach Called Life - December Stats

    This Beach Called Life - December Stats

Seven Pounds – A Weighty Movie


Seven Pounds - More Than Just A Weight

Seven Pounds - More Than Just A Weight

Seven Pounds is probably the best movie I have seen for the year 2008. However, in keeping with this blog’s sense of warped humor coupled with great insight, I give you some brief comments. Please note there are some unintentional spoilers ahead.

  • Seven Pounds is not only the latest offering from Will Smith; it’s also the amount of weight you will put on for the Holidays.
  • Seven Pounds is the only movie which dares to show the relationship between the Blackberry and the Jellyfish.
  • Seven Pounds is a movie with such a great plot you will rush out the movie theater and tell all your friends just so you could spoil it for them.
  • Seven Pounds features such a passionate love scene between Will Smith and Rosario Dawson you can’t help wonder if she would suffer a heart attack.
  • Seven Pounds will make you cry at US$7.00 a ticket.
  • Seven Pounds is a movie that is so good it doesn’t need explosions.
  • Seven Pounds is more than a love story, it is a reason to cry.
  • Seven Pounds is the name of the movie which doesn’t explain why it’s called Seven Pounds.
  • Seven Pounds = 3.17514659 kilograms

Ben Thomas: I did something really bad once and I’m never gonna be the same!

Seven Pounds - Wallpapae

Seven Pounds - Wallpapae

The Most Beautiful Women of 2008


This video was produced by this blog on the 26th, December 2008 at around 9:00 p.m. It was done in association with boredom and it should not be considered complete. I selected only five women to include in this video since five is a manageable number for a video and possibly in life.

Some of the highlights of this video are the music from Kevin MacLeod and  two internationally known beauties from Trinidad and Tobago , Gabrielle Walcott – third place winner in  Miss World 2008 and Anya Ayoung-Chee - a  finalist in Miss Universe 2008.  Also included is Rosario Dawson – star of Seven Pounds and Freida Pinto – star of Slumdog Millionaire.  Rihanna needs no further introduction.

Recommendation:

I recommend you look at this video in High Quality Mode at YouTube

Just click on the link at the bottom of the video screen which says watch in high quality. In HQ mode the video is better and the sound is in stereo.

Merry Christmas to You and Your Turkey


Merry Christmas

Dear Lord, I’ve been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us… a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird… a social being… capable of actual affection… nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it’s dead and we’re gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family… ~ Berke Breathed

tomturkey

Why IQ Doesn’t Matter


aka wrote the the book on Idiots

aka wrote the the book on Idiots

INTRODUCTION

Dotish is the Trinidad word and adjective for stupid. It is derived from the English word dolt, which means stupid person. Dotishness is the noun.

Example: The dotish Government Minister went on TV and spoke a set of dotishness.

Because of the proliferation of stupidity throughout the world there are more words that mean a stupid person in the English language than there are for any other word. Here is a small sampling of such words:

dolt, dork, dullard, pillock, poor fish, pudden-head, pudding head, stupe, stupid, berk, blockhead, bonehead, dumbass, dunce, dunderhead, hammerhead, imbecile, knucklehead, loggerhead, lunkhead, muttonhead, numskull, shithead, klutz, simpleton, simple, idiot, fool, cretin, dimwit, dork, dumbbell, dunce, ignoramus, jerk, kook, moron, nincompoop, ninny, nitwit, dunce, ignoramus, politician.

THE BLOG

Stupidity is difficult to define but resides in all of us. Initially, scientist thought that stupidity was directly related to IQ and assumed that those of lower IQ will exhibit higher levels of stupidity. But this is not so. Scientists have now realized that all people, regardless of IQ, have a part of their brain dedicated to stupidity called the dotish lobe, which can be triggered without warning and causing those embarrassing and sometimes deadly moments.

An active dotish lobe is responsible for high incidence of intelligent men going after no-good but deadly sexy women. It is also responsible for the smart drinking and driving, and women’s inability to reverse park. The dotish lobe has been know to kick in excessively around Christmas time when hoards of people with hyperactive dotish lobes can be seen at flea markets in tropical islands buying pot holders and door mats with pictures of holly and mistletoe. These people also buy green toilet brushes to be used on December 25th and no sooner. Some people have a dotish lobe, which cannot be turned off, and those people can usually be found in Parliament.

Based on recent surveys scientist have concluded that at any point in time, one out of every two people will exhibit symptoms of a dominant dotish lobe. So, if you are standing next to the office water cooler talking to a pretty girl who seems rather smart then you will statistically become the dotish one. Fortunately there are activities that can assist those who need to control their dotish lobe and such activities consist of keeping ones mouth shut and sitting in a corner of a room facing the walls. A dominant dotish lobe has been known to cause men to say and do very dumb things and here is one recent example:

Man “Are those real?”

Woman “Oh they are, touch them.”

Man “No, I was just curious.”

Woman: “Care for a cookie then?”

Man: “No, I am filled”

I feel I am an expert in dotishness and can go on and on into the signs and symptoms of this daily occurrence that has done more to shape our lives than our IQ.

Stupidity is in the brain and can be measured

Stupidity resides in the brain and can now be measured

Show Me Your Cookie


Not all cookies can be seen

Not all cookies can be seen

Only a few years ago if you wanted cookies you would have to bake them, steal them, or buy them at the going rate. Now, however, if you want to have a more meaningful life, you would also have to enable them. Cookies have come a long way from the streets and ovens and are now on most web servers and hard drives. Cookies are powerful Internet functionality tools and have become as important to the Internet as handcuffs are to bondage fantasies. Some experts suggested that the Internet “cookie” was named “cookie” because of the Chinese Fortune Cookie which contained a simple text message. The only difference between a traditional cookie and an Internet cookie is that you can eat one but not the other.

In the Web world cookies are used by web servers and websites to track users, usually in a non-malicious way, to enhance the user-experience. Cookies can be used by websites to tell when a customer returns and that customer’s desires.  Cookies are used to keep a web voter honest by blocking repeated attempts at voting for Jennifer Aniston. Cookies are vital and some websites may not work, or not work properly if the web browser a person is using is set to reject cookies. Some social scientists suggest that men readily accept cookies but women have reluctance to cookies. In the world of the Internet there is very little difference between a Chinese cookie and a Danish cookie but  there is a big difference between the baked varieties  of these two countries and that difference is sometimes called melamine.

Jose Feliciano – Feliz Navidad – Live


The Best Christmas song ever, Feliz Navidad, was written and sung by Puerto Rican Jose Feliciano in1970. Jose Feliciano is an an accomplished guitarist and sings with a distinctive voice and style. Feliz Navidad has become a Cristmas classic and is now impossible to separate from the Christmas season.  Feliz Navidad is one of the top 25 most played and recorded Christmas songs around the world. The melody took a few day for Feliciano to write but the lyrics probably took months to finish.

Feliz Navidad – Lyrics

Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heart.

[Repeats]

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