Japanese Population Crisis – Why Darkness Matters

The Japanese workforce is expected to be reduced by one third near the year 2050. This drop has been blamed on Japan’s declining birthrate brought about by the proliferation of Japanese ISO 9001 certified condom companies and cold-wives clubs. Experts predict this fiasco would lead to the Japanese working longer and harder, giving people less time to reproduce, causing a further decline in the already stunted population growth.

The Japanese Government is now attempting to encourage reproduction by urging young couples to drink beer while throwing caution to the wind and going with the flow on Friday evenings into Saturday mornings. The Government is establishing a new Government Ministry called the Ministry of Carefree and Careless Reproduction to oversee the reproductive state of Japan. The opposition is calling for the importation of more condoms from the  populous China and India. Using sophisticated simulations on both a Playstation 3 and a Wii, experts predict that in exactly 100 million years the population of Japan would be down to just two seventy year-old men and a koi named goldiy. Toyota is expected to halt the assembly of new cars on that day but the servicing of the Corolla will continue only for a short time after.