Life on Mars and Halle Berry

Not only was there life on Mars, but also a writer’s union strike and canceled TV shows for the next season. Scientist on Earth hoped that life on Mars would have shed more light on the origins of life and male pattern baldness but this did not happen as hardcover copies of Cosmos by Carl Sagan and Rogain were found to be the only bestsellers on Mars for hundreds of years. Life on Mars was dreary and unfair like it was on Earth except that their United States hardly bought anything from their China other than mosquito coils, oyster sauce and rice noodles. Like Earth, Mars had its fair share of corrupt public officials and morons who roamed the planet trying to get votes.

Martians had similar traits to Earthlings and they both often complained about potholes on the roads. Martians also burnt tires so that the smoke signals could alert road officials and low orbiting spacecraft exactly where the road craters were located. On Mars, there were no tsunamis or bubble baths since there was no water due to slack management of the Martian Water Authority. The land prices on Mars shifted uncontrollably because sand storms often shifted land location. There was very little change in red being the favorite color of Mars but on Earth the color concrete became the color of choice and green became an artificial color. Martians did not need passports to travel within their planet and it was only required for entry into the US. The most popular movies on Mars were sci-fi movies where Earthlings were shown to be creatures destroying planet Earth and fellow Earthlings for unbelievable reasons. Martian suicide bombings became a thing of the past on Mars after Martians discovered that Heaven was a place on Earth.

Martians thought that the Earthling String Bikini was too modest since Martians, like Venusians and porn stars, never wore clothes except when under a mosquito or paparazzi attack. Though Martians did not learn anything earth shattering from Earthlings, but they did like Earth beaches of the Caribbean, Halle Berry, and this blog.