From Apple’s Core

Trying to take advantage of its successful iMac, iPod, iTunes, iPhone, and iTouch, Apple Inc. had planned to launch a new iProduct but those plans are now on indefinite hold. Researchers at core of Apple’s product development center created a device called the iMan but were advised at the very last minute by its legal team not to go public since the name Iman was already taken by a super-sexy, supermodel who is still married to super rocker David Bowie. No details were given as to exactly what Apple’s iMan was designed to do but it is understood that ad space was reserved in several leading adult publications, cable channels and sleazy websites.

Not to be daunted, Apple is still working on new iProducts and amongst them is the iDo designed to make weddings take place without a hitch, iDont to help with the divorce, iHorn for cheating couples, iNice for those full of themselves, iMop for the progressive housewife, iNag for wives in general, and the much eagerly awaited iCat for men everywhere. The iTattoo is already with us and the do-it-yourself PI, the iDick, should be on shelves by the end of the year.

It’s going to be another bumper iXmas for those who part with their money easily, but Apple is planning to launch the iWillgetyou to take care of the rest of us.