Archive | April 27, 2005

A Con Job


Aka was not one for frills. He was the type to throw reality onto the bed of life, as it were, and get down to the task at hand, sometimes even with a finger to his lips. Naturally and in reality, this made him very popular with his imagination, but unpopular with his conscience.

Aka and Conscience, Cons, as Aka once affectionately called him, had known each other for several years and though inseparable, their relationship was now more of tolerance than friendship. However, when it was friendship it was close. But, as the nursery rhyme said, when it was bad it was horrid. Aka and Cons would often have these revolving-door type conversations, which always left both parties less than amused. Here is one such “Con Job,” as Aka calls them.

Aka: I was thinking, Cons, when was the last time you took a vacation, alone.

Cons: You know I can’t do that, you would be lost without me, and I, you.

Aka: Do you always have to speak like a Shakespearian character?

Cons: It adds to my credibility.

Aka: It adds to your stupidity.

Cons: I am not bothered by your feeble taunts, save those for lesser minds.

Aka: Really Cons, not bothered. Your whole life is based on being bothered. You need a vacation, go to the beach, collect some drift-wood, build a fire, bond with it. Do what all other consciences do, leave, maybe even meet Miss Conscience. That would get you off my case.

Cons: HaHaHa. How ironic it is for you to be tempting me with your weakness.

Aka: It is consciences like you, which makes life difficult for people like me.

Cons: It is consciences like me who keep you away from the law, the fast cars, the faster women, the sweetest temptations. It is I, who keep your bones intact and teeth in place.

Aka: Full of your self aren’t you? You sound like a Calcium advertisment.

Cons: No, full of you. And Calcium is good for you.

Aka: What does that mean.

Cons: I don’t know, there was a void in the blog and I filled it.

Aka: Ok, no probs. Thanks.

Cons: You are welcomed.

Aka sips some water. He turns the magazine to get a better view of the centerfold. He is impressed, he always is.

Aka: Have I not been a good boy Cons. Have I been too much trouble for you.

Cons: You have your moments, most bad.

Aka: Name one recent “bad” moment.

Cons: Mini Skirt.

Aka: What of her?

Cons: What of HER? What of HER? You could scarcely keep your mind away from her….from her….her…….You know what I mean!

Aka: So you were also looking! Where was your conscience, my good man. You are a guilty conscience!

Cons: I did my job, I worked overtime. Didn’t you see me? Didn’t you see me waving like a mad mind. Did you not hear me scream. And when that didn’t work didn’t you not see me “wine down de place,” just so that you would remember me!

Aka: Yes, yes the “wine.” The worst thing in the world is “ a Con wine,” and your wine was……uncalled for. Have you no conscience!

Cons: You frustrate me Aka!

Aka: And you, me!

Aka, looks untroubled, he turns to another page, his eyes pop out a bit and his blood rushes where it should. A truce is called, but the truce is never long. A temporary calm appears.

Cons: So Aka, what’s on your mind lately.

Aka: You should know.

Cons: That’s what I am afraid of.

The torment never ends…….


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